Page 41 of Easy Reunion
I decide to lay the reality of what high school did to my social expectations on the table. It’s past time.
“Relationships imply I gave people a chance, Ry,” I say softly. “I was reminded recently I wasn’t exactly open to that.”
“Why?” The question is torn from him. It scrapes the walls of my heart to listen to the brittle sound of his voice. “How could no one see the remarkable beauty you were?”
Unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth, I reach over and pluck his sunglasses away. His blue eyes hold as many demons, if not possibly more than mine. They’re also pulling me under with the same unnamed emotion my heart began to fall for years ago. Shaking my head, I pull myself back from the brink before I know everything. I remind myself there’s no happily ever after in words unspoken.
Instead, I lay my hands on his chest and tell him bluntly, “I am the collective of everything said or done to me. Like everyone else who’s ever contemplated a relationship, there’s been miscommunication and misunderstandings. I wouldn’t blame either party.” Though I didn’t try that hard. “Things just didn’t work out.”
“‘At the end of it all, I want the simplicity of a man who will be willing to sit on our front porch holding my hand,’” Ry quotes me to me softly.
I rear back as if I’ve been struck. “You remember that?” I wrote those words in an essay about my vision of love during our creative writing class. Ry wrote a short story inspired by his parents, he told me. I’m terrified right now. Ry’s trying to prove to me he wasn’t joking. Back then, he did like me, care for me, and maybe found me beautiful.
And he still slid a knife into my heart.
Moving his fingers behind my ears, he tugs my glasses off. Now, neither of us are hiding. And neither of us is capable of escaping. “I remember everything.” His fingers trace down my cheekbones until they grip my chin. “And I know that what you just told me was either to protect yourself or me.”
“What makes you think you know me so well?” I demand angrily, struggling to put some distance between us, but his words still me.
“Because with every relationship I’ve had, my mind replays every mistake I made with you, so I can never get close enough to make it stick.”
I initially swallow the words that maybe neither of us would be so broken, so unable to be with someone if it hadn’t been for the crushing blow he dealt me because that’s not the truth—well, not the whole truth. Then I decide to hell with it. Yanking myself out of his arms, I fall back a few feet away and wrap my arms around myself. My voice is trembling when I bite out, “Is that what this is? Do you figure if you can have a ‘normal’ relationship with me, you’ll be able to move on with your life? Because if that’s the case, then I’ll save you the hassle. Go forth, do good things, don’t be an asshole. It will be great for whoever is worthy enough to end up in your perfect world.”
Ry shoves to his knees and squares off against me. “Is that what you think this is?” he demands.
“What else could it be? No one wanted to be seen with me back then. Now? I guess it’s okay based on what I look like. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing.” Wearily, I run my hand through my hair.
“And what about you?” Ry’s words slap at me. “What did you come to that reunion for if not…”
“To shove it down their goddamned throats!” I yell as I shove myself to my feet. “I had every damn right to shove it down every one of your throats that I wasn’t some broken, defeated, ugly monster. And—”
“And all you managed to do was show me you weren’t ugly,” Ry says coolly.
Staggered, I step back as if he slapped me. The wedge of my shoe sinks into the soft grass. I feel the tickle of it around my ankles as I begin to back away.
“Jesus, Kels, I didn’t mean…” He scrubs his hand up and down his face.
“I think, Rierson, the problem is you very much did mean,” I whisper tragically before I turn and walk briskly toward the park entrance.
I ignore his repeated attempts to get me to stop by calling my name.
After all, when you’re barely hanging on, you can’t stop to answer questions.
