Page 107 of Free to Live
I turn my back to her. “Love is never a mistake.” The pain I feel in my chest when those words leave my mind and enter hers are scorching.
“No, it isn’t. But Holly, right now he’s praying to die if you do.”
I whirl around in shock. “What?”
“By the way, it’s a beautiful ring.”
My mouth falls open. “Jesus, I’m not having this conversation.”
Mary shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. Come visit me sometime and you’ll know for sure.”
“Isn’t that what I’m doing now?” I drawl sarcastically.
“I mean at my grave, Holly. That means you have to fight to get there, don’t you.”
My lips tremble. “I hurt.”
Her face softens. “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
“What happened tonight…I don’t know that I’m ready to face it. Face him. Can’t I stay here for a little while?”
Her eyes well with tears. “No. They might want you to stay if you do.”
“Oh.” I find I’m disappointed. It’s so beautiful here.
“But can I ask a favor before you have to go? Can I give you a hug to give to my Grace? I know you’re hurting and you must hate me…”
I cut her off. “How can I hate you when your heart is what made the two of theirs?” In this place, I can’t be anything but brutally honest. “It’s not your fault. He just can’t love me the same way.”
Wrapping her arms around me, Mary whispers, “I hope not, Holly. Because I know you’re going to be surprised by the way he does love you.”
* * *
“Doctor,I think she’s waking up!”
I really wish everyone would stop yelling. I reach up to tug at the mask covering my face. “No, Holly. That’s your oxygen mask. We really need you to keep that on.”
Oxygen? What? The last thing I remember is…
Heat.
Smoke.
The fire!
My heart rate accelerates just as a doctor comes bursting into the room. Jason’s in scrubs right behind him. The relief on his face is evident. “Hols.” His voice breaks.
I try to talk, but I don’t have a voice. The only sound is a squeak that’s masked by the oxygen pumping through my mask. My brows lower in a V, and tears form in my eyes.
“Shh, sister. I’ve got you,” Jason croons as the doctor examines me. He checks my eyes, reflexes, and mobility, and listens to my lungs. After urging me to cough—like that’s difficult—he appears to be pleased. “You were very, very, lucky, Ms. Freeman. Another few minutes and I don’t know what we’d have been looking at.”
My face turns toward Jason. I’m surprised to see his cheeks wet. He reaches for a tissue to wipe his tears. “You scared us, baby girl. Other than checking on the kids, no one’s left in two days.”
Two days? I make a strange sound, but Jason hushes me. “No talking, Holly, and for damn sure no taking off that mask. You took in too much smoke. Your arterial blood gas levels were too low. The doctors have been pushing IV fluids and pumping magnesium sulfate through you to get your airways open and to get the swelling around your throat down. They’re also pushing antibiotics in to keep any infection away.”
Tears start to burn in the back of my eyes. He grabs another tissue and gently dabs at them. “You’re going to be just fine. I swear it, baby girl. Just a few days of no talking. Then whispering. By that point, we’ll have you home.”
I make another choked sound. Do I even have a home? Jason lets out a curse. “Our home, Holly. They’re not going to let you out of here unless it’s with medical supervision. Right, Doctor?”
