Page 65 of Free to Live
My eyes widen. Who the hell is she talking about? Another woman? What woman? Is she insane? I’m trying to figure out a response when another text comes in.
Hey, Joe. It was great running into you the other day. Thanks for cheering me up. That’s sweet. It’s Brett’s baby sister, Melissa.
Shit. Melissa. Holly had to have seen me with Brett’s sister and completely misunderstood. Melissa’s been in love with Justin for as long as she’s known him, but despite her attempts to get him to notice her, nothing. She came into The Coffee Shop utterly dejected after going to visit him and her brother at the station. I called her over to my booth while I was waiting for Holly.
She’s a wonderful woman with a heart of gold, but Justin just can’t get it in his head that it’s okay to date one of his best friend’s sisters. What did I do? I think frantically. I remember throwing my arm around Mel, snuggling her like I always do and… Groaning, I remember the bell rang above the door. Shit. Before I can even think of how to reply, another text comes in. My heart pounding, I read,It’s fine. You’re dating. That’s great.
Great? Her encouragement to be with someone else makes me want to hurl my phone against a wall. My head drops back on the couch in defeat. Is this why she’s been distant? Is she clearing a path for me to move on with my life with a phantom someone I neither want nor asked for?
“Joe? What’s wrong?” Justin’s voice comes from behind me. He’s been one of my closest friends for years. I wish he’d wake up and see what’s in front of him before it’s too late. I scrub my hand down my face. Pot, kettle much? What am I supposed to say? That he’s as much of a fool as I am for not seeing what’s been in front of him for a while now? That instead of dreaming about my dead fiancée, I’m beginning to dream about a woman with sunlight in her eyes? That every moment I spend with Holly is precious because of who she is, the woman who makes me smile even when I least want to?
“Nothing.” Pushing up from the sofa, I shove my phone in my pocket, knowing I have to fix this, somehow, someway. I have to make her understand that there’s no one else.
Not even Mary.
34
Holly
To anyone but my family, the smile on my face probably looks like I’m having the time of my life when in reality, I’d prefer to be anywhere but under the twinkling lights of the farm’s back patio. Em made sure I at least looked halfway decent. Ali’s covered my hands twice so I’ll stop worrying them together. Phil’s reminded me to stop biting my lip more times than I can count. Cassidy’s stood by my side to make random conversation with our clients. And Corinna—bless her heart—she handed me a martini.
Ali was right, I think to myself. I’m a wreck, and it’s my own stupid fault for having developed feelings for a man who made it abundantly clear from the beginning he was emotionally unavailable. Taking a sip of the drink in my hand, I think, well, unavailable to me, that is.
I feel a familiar arm slip around me. I lean into the weight of it. “You’re supposed to be mingling,” I gently admonish my brother.
“I will. I just wanted to let you know there’s been more than one set of eyes on you in this dress tonight.” He pulls away and looks down at me. “Under these lights, you look like a nymph, my beautiful sister.”
I shake my head, setting the loose curls that are in a top knot on my head dancing. “Did Jason slip something in your drink or something?”
He shakes his head. “Come on, Hols. Dance with your ol’ brother.”
I laugh, truly laugh, for the first time tonight. “Finally admitting you’re old?” I tease him just as he swings me into his arms.
“I said ‘ol’,’ Hols. I refuse to admit I’m old,” he says haughtily. Clasping my hand against his chest, we begin to sway back and forth. Laying my cheek against his chest, I remember out loud the first time we taught each other how to dance. “It was a YouTube video, remember?” I murmur.
“How could I not?” His lips touch the crown of my head. “I had my feet stepped on more times that night…”
I giggle. “And Cassidy almost lost a toe when you trampled on hers.” I let out a soft sigh.
“I hate knowing you’ve lost your glow, baby.”
In the safe confines of Phil’s arms, I can admit the truth because it’s so tiring to keep it inside. “It only hurts because I was foolish enough to hope. If I’d just stayed on the path I was meant to be on, I’d be fine.”
“And you’d never know…” I’ll never know what Phil was about to say as we’re interrupted on the dance floor. “Hello, Joe.”
“Phil.” My brother and I pull apart slightly. “I hope you don’t mind if I cut in.” His question is directed at Phil, but his eyes are searching mine.
I want to look away, but I force myself to nod. “Of course.” I smile vapidly at my brother, who’s glowering at Joe’s back. “We’ll talk later.”
Angry blue eyes meet mine over the man who’s causing so much conflict in my soul. “That we will, baby,” he says before he slides to the edge off the dance floor near Cassidy.
All I can pray for is the band we hired for tonight picks up the pace a little. But just as Joe clasps my trembling hand, the strumming of a guitar starts. I recognize the song within the first few notes and decide God is out to kill my soul. Unable to escape, I’m pressed into Joe’s space. His hand burns my skin through the sheer material of my dress. “You look beautiful,” he tells me quietly.
“You look nice yourself. You all do. Did your mother do something different with her hair?” I’m babbling.
He doesn’t answer me. Pulling me infinitesimally closer as Chris Stapelton’s words wash over both of us, he states, “I miss you.”
Even as I avoid looking at him, I’m finding it hard to avoid the scent of his powerful body so close to mine. “Same,” I reply lightly.Just keep the conversation going until the end of the song. Then you can escape, I tell myself.
