Page 66 of Free to Live
A light breeze picks up the end of my dress. Dropping my arm from Joe’s shoulder, I reach down to hold it in place. When I stand back up, I see sorrow and regret in his eyes. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. If I don’t break away now, I’m going to be stuck in this cycle of wanting more from this man and unable to move on, even if that’s only casual dating for the rest of my life.
I begin to make excuses. “I’m sorry, Joe. Cass’s waving at me. I have to go. Duty calls.”
He curses, “Damnit, Holly. We need to talk.”
My mask in place, I say, “We will. Text me during the week. You, me, and Grace, we’ll grab lunch. Promise.” Before he can say another word, I wind my way through the dancers to the other side of the dance floor where Phil’s got his arm around Cassidy. Approaching them, I whisper, “I don’t need a lecture. I need my family.”
Cassidy just opens her arms. Phil wraps both of his around me before he guides us both up to the farmhouse.
35
Joseph
Every night since the Freemans’ party, I’ve seen nothing in my dreams except Holly. It’s a good thing I’ve got those because that’s the only time I’ve actually seen her.
She looked exquisite lit by the twinkling lights at the party. Her hair—what wasn’t caught in a knot on her head—was left in long curls. Her dress was a sheer teal that enhanced her creamy skin. Around her neck was a simple coin necklace that should have been dull in comparison to the light in her eyes but actually outshone it.
Punching the pillow under my head, I roll to the side. I understand why Holly might have misinterpreted what she saw; unless it’s related to work, she doesn’t know many people in town. But Mel’s been as much a part of my life as Brett has since I was a kid, the little sister I never had. I didn’t think twice about sharing I’d run into her with Holly, although, in the back of my mind I’d been planning on introducing them since. Now?
Falling back with a loud sigh, I scrub my hands through my hair. The problem is, I don’t know if it was—dare I let myself hope—jealousy driving Holly to act this way. Or is she truly that self-serving and giving me space to date?
Closing my eyes in frustration, all I can think about is her light floral scent filling my nose as I held her as close as I dared.
“Shit,” I curse roundly.
“Bianco, if you don’t plan on sleeping, get the hell out of the bunk room,” Justin gripes. “Some of us would like actually to get some sleep in this decade.”
Swinging my legs over to the side of my bed, I sit up. “Sorry, buddy,” I mutter. Nabbing my phone, I stalk from the bedroom into the connecting lounge.
Pulling up my texts, I check to see if Holly’s sent anything. Nothing. Taking a shot, I open up our text string.I miss you. We need to talk.Before I can talk myself out of it, I hit Send.
Suddenly, the alarm is going off. “All teams, report to your stations. We have a report of a fire at 14 Old Stonebridge Road. I repeat, all teams, report to your stations.”
Men and women come pouring out of the bunk room. Putting my thoughts of Holly aside, I race over to the pole and hook a leg onto it to swing out. Sliding down, I don’t hesitate to sprint over to the room where our turnout suits and boots are kept. I step into a pair of pants and boots, and quickly grab the coat. Justin’s hot on my heels.
“We’re in the bus, bud!” he calls out. Turning, I race for the ambulance and throw the driver’s-side door open. Soon, we’re following two engines with sirens blaring through the quiet streets of Collyer.
I was given the best advice about preparing for the moments between the call and the arrival. My pop told me, “Leave your fears behind the minute the garage closes behind you, son. Otherwise, that drive is going to be the longest of your life because it might be your last.” Long before I became a single dad, I’ve ridden out of the station with that mentality. Now, knowing I have Grace to go home to, I’m more hard-pressed to ensure I make it out alive.
For just a second, Holly’s face flashes into my mind, but I brutally shove it out. I can’t allow myself to get distracted by going there. Focus on the victims, the team, and the beast. Get the first two out alive and kill the third.
“You need to get your head out of your ass about Holly,” Justin says abruptly.
“What?” I take my eyes briefly off the road to glance at him. His eyes are staring out the front windshield. “We’re not doing this now.”
“When else? In the middle of the lounge? When you have Grace? This is the only chance I have to tell you I think you need to admit to yourself how you really feel about her and date her before someone else gets in there, you ass!” he exclaims. “What if you run out of time?”
My chest hurts. I know what it feels like to run out of time. And only one person was able to make that pain disappear.
And I’m letting her slip through my fingers.
“We’ll talk after we clean up this mess,” I promise just as we pull up to the mess on Old Stonebridge. I slam the bus in park, and we both leap out.
Justin meets me around the front of the ambulance. “It’s not me you have to discuss it with, buddy. It’s Holly. And I’d make the words count. I’m sick of seeing your miserable mug around the station. Besides,” he taunts me, “you burn the crap out of dinner when you’re in a pissy mood.”
Dick, I think with some amusement. I put our conversation to the back of my mind as we stare at the beast consuming the back half of the house for just a moment. Soon, we hear what we’ve been waiting to hear. “We’ve got wounded!”
Justin yells back, “Do we need the board?”
