Page 103 of Free to Believe
The shock on her young face can’t be faked. Jenna has no idea Jake is in the city.
“What on earth are you talking about, Em? Daddy’s in Nantucket.”
“No, Jenna. He isn’t. He came to the city yesterday wanting to talk to Em before the show,” Ali tells her gently.
Jenna whips her head toward me. “And you said no?” Her voice is tragically sad.
“Actually, I have quite a few things to say to your father, but I wasn’t told he was here until an hour ago. I do, however, refuse to say them before what may end up being the most important day of my life.” My voice is arctic. Ali squeezes my shoulder.
“Oh-okay. So, should I call him or something?”
“No, Jenna. Your job today is to staff Em. I’ll call him once you both have left for the show. You’ve only got fourteen hours until the lights go up,” Ali soothes her.
Her brown eyes, so like Jake’s, begin to glow. She comes hobbling toward me. Before I can stop her, she slides her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I swallow convulsively. It’s the first time Jenna’s hugged me since the first night she arrived.
And just like that first night, I just want to bawl like a baby when she does.
“Go get ready.” My voice is husky, even to my own ears. “We have to leave soon.”
“Right!” Ali’s arm around my waist props me up when I would have fallen down crying again.
“Are you sure about this?” I know she’s concerned about my decision to let Jake into the show.
“Yes. Is it the right thing? I don’t know. I just refuse to let him think for one more second I’ll never recover from loving him. Even if I have to fake it, he’ll walk out of there believing I’ll forget about him the minute he does.”
“Em?”
“Yeah?”
“Come home to cry, okay?” Her arm tightens around me.
I lean my head on her shoulder. “It’s the only place that’s safe for me to go, Ali. I’ll be home.”
63
Emily
It’s quiet backstage. I’ve just called everyone together to thank them for all of their hard work under some crazy deadlines. I’m about to take the microphone from the stage manager when Jenna grabs my hand. “Dani wants to talk with you before you go out.”
I say a quick prayer this isn’t about my allowing Jake in to the Skylight. To say my family was drastically unhappy when they heard about my decision—something Holly relayed to me while she was backstage earlier—is an understatement. “If you think it’s tense back here, you should be in the front of the house. I can’t tell who’s going to snap first, Cass or Phil.”
“Great. Just great. Tell them if they get blood on the dresses when they’re being paraded, I’m going to kill them,” I said before stalking off to make sure a model’s hair and makeup were being applied correctly.
Now, as I make my way to my finale dress—more importantly, to the woman wearing it—I can’t help the churning of my stomach. I refuse to let any of that show on my face. “Dani, Jenna said you needed to see me?”
Giving me a head-to-toe perusal, she nods. “I was wondering what you were doing when you agreed to let Jake in. I think I get it now. You’re going to show him the life you’re going to lead without him.”
Ignoring her statement, I specify, “Was there something you needed pertaining to the show?”
“Come with me.” Dragging me away just a few feet, she looks down at me from her enhanced height due to the four-inch heels she’s wearing. “I’m not supporting a single thing he did—not one. He should have turned to you and not from you. I just want the right to say one thing.”
“What’s that?” I ask coldly.
“Don’t let him steal your ability to love, Em. No matter what, don’t let him have the part of your soul made for believing in love.”
I step backward. “Don’t you see, Dani? All Jake reinforced was that love is a game of how long someone can endure another person before they leave. Or die. He didn’t take away my ability to love. He just reminded me I was never meant to have it.”
“Ms. Freeman, one minute,” the stage manager calls out.
