Page 102 of Free to Believe
Keene curses under his breath. “I should have gotten in one good hit when that fucker was in my office today.”
I’m confused. “Who?”
“You know damn well who. Ali said the sisters talked when we called earlier.”
“And I also said we didn’t tell Em he was there, Keene,” Ali says exasperatedly from behind us both. Turning, we see her in sleep shorts and a tank, running both hands through her hair.
Keene winces. “Shit.”
“Why don’t you go check on Kalie while I talk with Em?” Ali suggests.
“Right.” Pausing beside her, he reaches down and cups her jaw. I can’t watch. I turn back to the window and lose myself in the emptiness of the New York skyline.
I feel Ali slide up next to me. For long moments, we stand there saying nothing. “Where do you go when you’re this quiet, Em?” Ali finally breaks our silence to ask.
I think about how to answer her. “I go to the place where my life is shattered.”
“Do you try to put the pieces back together?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know how.”
“What if someone else is trying to?”
Blankly, I look at her. “Who would want to?”
“Me. The family. Our men.” She takes a deep breath. “And Jake Madison.”
The sound of his name coming from Ali’s lips is like a knife through the bubble of protectiveness I’ve been keeping around myself these last few weeks. “No…” I deny it instinctively.
“Do you trust me, Em?” Ali asks me, fervently.
“Right now, you’re one of five people in the world I do trust,” I admit wearily.
“Then come away from that window and listen to me. I’m not saying it’s not going to hurt, but you have a right to hear everything I’m about to say.”
* * *
An hour later,I’ve cried more than I have since I first left Nantucket.
It turns out when your heart has been shredded, putting it back together requires more than just fabric glue. It requires a backstitch, a serger, and maybe some delicate topstitching to hide the repairs.
I’m still hurting. I’m still in pain. But now I feel something else.
I feel angry.
I’ve never felt angry before when love died because I killed it.
Maybe it’s because this time, it wasn’t me who did.
It’s something for me to think about after I get through the show tonight.
Jenna stumbles out of Kalie’s room at five fifteen. She takes one look at me and mutters, “Uh-oh. Did you sleep at all?”
Ali barks out a laugh while I shake my head.
“Great. Let me get dressed and figure out where there’s coffee.” Jenna starts to make her way back into the bedroom.
“I suspect you’re going to need a few more today, sweetheart,” I call out. She pauses and gives me a quizzical look. “I imagine your father’s going to be pretty tired after the day he’s had with my family trying to convince them to let him see me. You might want to tell him there will be a pass waiting for him with security. I imagine he’s been up most of the night trying to figure out what to do next since my family told him he couldn’t come to the show yesterday. He’s probably going to need a caffeine boost.”
