Page 44 of Only Everything
“I love you…”
“But you don't want to give yourself to me?I'll take it. I'll take your body and then your mind, Tauren, and I'll make them mine. Even if that means eradicating everything else. I won't lose you again. I refuse. Are you mine?”
I reached down V’ing my fingers around my cock so I could feel it pushing inside of her. So I could make it more real.
“Tauren.”
“What you’re asking?—.”
My index finger nudged into her channel making her gasp. The overwhelming sensation not to be hers nearly left me entering her any way I could. Even if my cock was already inside her. Was it so far-fetched that I could see my hand forcing itself into her pussy so I could reach up and grab her heart to take. Sick. Cruel. It didn’t matter.It was mine.She. Was. Mine. Every inch. Every fucking thought. Every. Beat.
“Fuck.God.” She took deep breaths, tightening around me as I continued to push the tip of my digit in with my cock. She was so close to an orgasm. So trapped as my other arm kept barred across her chest, holding to her shoulder. Despite that I was glaring at the house in a daze, all my body felt was the pleasure.
“Tauren.”
Nothing but moans.
She couldn’t say it.
She wouldn’t be mine…
“Reid.” One of her legs lifted to settle on the dash and she pushed back against me as spasms had her body shaking. As if on cue, my body knew what to do. We both came as one, and I wasn’t even present for our moment. While she was floating in bliss, I was stuck in a hellish purgatory of her making.
She’d have sex with me. She’d take my love and even give me hers. But she wouldn’t commit? She’d leave us as what…siblings in the eyes of the public and my fuck toy behind closed doors? No, that wasn’t going to do. Not when I knew it was her past keeping us apart. But that was about to end. I kept trying to be patient and go along with this her way. It wasn’t working. My patience was wearing thin, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait. She’d say she was mine one way or another.I’d make sure of it.
CHAPTER 16
TAUREN
“I can’t go back.I’m sorry, Mr. Darcer. I thought I was ready, but I’m not. I think you need to find someone else.”
“…You’ve been through a lot. We understand how difficult this time is for you, and we’re sorry to see you go. Are you sure you don’t want me to hold your position for a few weeks? We can try to manage?—”
“Oh, no. That’s too much. I couldn’t do that to any of you. I’ll come by soon to pick up my things.”
My gaze cut over to Reid as I hung up. He’d barely looked at me since we’d returned home last night. Where I thought and even offered to let him sleep in the bed with me, he refused, opting for the sofa. He was upset with me for not being able to commit to a relationship with him. I knew that, but I couldn’t be exclusive until I found my power. I couldn’t have him as a boyfriend if I wasn’t stable within myself. Besides, what would people think? What would they say? I didn’t want to lie about who he was. Ifhe was my boyfriend or more, I wanted to be able to show that. I had to figure out how to get there with Reid. And I could, I just… needed to decipher my feelings. I had to separate my emotions from how I viewed everyone elses. Was it truly location and the roles Reid and I had that was leaving me unable to give in? Was it my father and what he’d done? A mix of both?
The trauma was so deeply ingrained that I wasn’t even sure I knew the answer.
I placed my phone down on the counter, walking to the other end of the sofa to take in Reid as he watched the weather. Another storm was coming in soon. That only meant it’d be a little colder. At least for a few days. But he didn’t seem to be watching. He stared at the television, but he seemed so far away.
“It’s done. I let Mr. Darcer know I won’t be coming back.” Still, he gazed ahead. “I should probably start looking for another job. Maybe if I looked in Hendersonville, I could find something there. The commute wouldn’t be horrible but…. they don’t have many jobs I could do.”
Reid blinked slowly, his lashes fluttering faster as he seemed to come aware.
“What?”
“I have to look for another job. Hendersonville doesn’t have much. I’m considering Asheville.”
“Why would you do that?”
“It’s bigger. A lot bigger than the towns that are close. And it’s not too far.”
He nodded. “But isn’t that where Emmett’s family lives? He was a cop there.Just yesterday?—”
“Let’s not argue.” I crawled over the cushionseparating us, moving onto Reid’s lap. There was no softening. There was no welcome at all. His arms didn’t even lift to come around me. He was hard. Cold. “You haven’t been the same since last night. How long is this going to last? Reid?—”
“Last? What do you want from me? It’s not my love. It’s not a future. My cock? Is that all I’m good for?”
