Page 150 of Home Field Advantage
My head hangs as I look down at the wine in my hands.
“He will be back,” she says with her chin held high, full of certainty.
“How do you know?”
“I have a feeling.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And you trust that?”
She points a finger in my direction. “If it’s one thing you should always trust, it’s your gut. It gives you all the answers you need.”
Lily barks out a laugh. “I don’t understand you most of the time.”
Nan swivels in her seat to fully face Lily. “What’s not to get? When something’s off, it will tell you. Let me tell you a quick story.”
“Oh boy,” Lily says under her breath.
“This one time, a friend of mine was giving off weird vibes. I knew something wasn’t right, but I just sat back and let it play out. Later down the road, about a year later, her true colors shone. Everything I was feeling was right. Then there was this other time, I took a young man into my home who wasn’t from here. Everyone around me thought I was nuts.”
“We still do,” Lily says. “But we love you for it.”
Nan smiles. “Anyway, I helped him get his feet off the ground. My gut didn’t raise any red flags. I knew it was the right thing to do, and guess what? I was right.” She points a finger in the air. “He never once stole from me or tried to kill me either.”
“I’m not sure my gut knows what to think, Nan,” I admit. “I’m sitting around, wondering what’s next, questioning everything. I mean, you’re right, Idofeel something for him. It’s something I’ve never felt before, which scares the crap out of me.”
“I think you’re just going to need to keep yourself busy.” Nan smiles. “You like lists, right?” I nod. “So do that. Make yourself a list of all the things you want to do to keep yourself busy while you wait.”
“You sound like my therapist.”
“I may as well be one for the town and all the problems y’all keep having.” Nan laughs.
“Okay, ouch,” Lily says. “But valid.”
Maybe she’s got a point.
Nan stands from where she sits, straightening her back as if sitting for too long made her feel stiff. She releases a stretch and starts making her way to her bike. “Oh, and Poppy?”
“Yeah?”
“You should know that he didn’t turn in his keys before heleft,” she says before mounting her bike. “So yeah, I got a feeling.” Nan winks, buzzes the bell on her handlebars once more, and rides off down the road.
My mouth hangs open as I watch her disappear.
Maybe I just have to keep myself busy to avoid my wandering thoughts.
Pacing my living room, I haven’t had it in me to take Nan’s advice and make myself a list. It’s not like me not to want to create one. I have lists all over the house of things I need to do, want to do, and items I need to buy from the store.
Lately, when I think of my lists, I think of the one Dallas has helped me with.
Everything seems to go back to Dallas.
I can’t look in the mirror anymore without thinking of the night he was here. I can’t look at my kitchen counter without remembering our moment there. I can’t focus on a puzzle without thinking about how he got me one.
Everything ishim.
This isn’t just an attraction anymore.
It’s not just the way I can’t get him out of my head, or the way I’m replaying his voice in my head like a favorite song I can’t stop listening to. It’s not about how he’s always finding ways to touch me by brushing hair away from my face. It’s not the butterflies or fireworks I feel when he’s around.
