Page 149 of Home Field Advantage
I miss Dallas.
I have no idea if it’s for good or just temporary.
I didn’t ask for more information, and I didn’t tell him to stay. I picked up my phone at least a hundred times to send him a text to see how he was, what he’s up to, or if he’s coming back, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it once. I was so fearful there would be a reply back telling me he and Sage aren’t coming back. It’s a pain I’m not ready to deal with right now.
When my sister picked up on the fact that something was off with me, she put two and two together when she realized Dallas wasn’t in town anymore.
Now, I’m sitting outside of the barn at Barlow Ranch mid-afternoon with Lily and Blair, enjoying a glass of wine together. It’s been so long since I’ve been out here toenjoy the ranch that I didn’t know the peace this place brings was exactly what I needed.
“Talk to us,” Lily says.
I sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on right now. My mind is a mess.”
“We know, that’s why we’re here,” Blair says. “This is the best place for clearing your head of whatever mess it’s in. Plus, good friends and wine help, too.”
I can’t help but smile because she’s right.
While everything in my head might feel like a whirlwind at the moment, being here with my sister and best friend brings a sense of comfort for me to think things through.
“He asked me to tell him to stay.”
Both of them remain silent, letting me process what I want to say next.
“And I didn’t say anything. I’ve been replaying the moment over and over in my head since the door closed behind him. I didn’t want to be the reason for any decision he has to make. Part of me wishes I had asked him to stay, because I…” I shake my head, averting my gaze to the mountains in the distance.
“You love him,” Blair finishes for me.
I don’t know what being in love feels like, but this has to be it.
The feeling of becoming so connected with another person, wanting to see them at any chance you can, and missing them when they’re gone. I feel all of those things with Dallas Westbrook. I feel those things with Sage, too. I’ve tried to deny it for so long because he had an expiration date here. I’ve tried to stop my heart from feeling anything, but I couldn’t help it.
The fall was inevitable.
“I don’t know how to navigate this,” I manage to get out as emotions sit thick in my throat and tears threaten to break the surface. “Is that what you really think this is?”
“Oh, babe.” Blair sighs with a smile. “It most definitely is. I had the same questions when I was falling for your brother. Hewas the last thing I expected to happen to me, the same way you didn’t expect Dallas.”
She’s right.
I know she is, even if the voice on my shoulder, who’s always feeding me the negative thoughts, tries to tell me otherwise.
A bell chimes not far away, forcing us all to turn our heads to face Nan, who’s pulling up on her bicycle. She dings the bell on her handlebars with a smile on her face as she comes to a stop in front of us.
“Ahh. All my girls. I’ve been lookin’ for you three.”
“We’re escaping reality, Nan,” Lily says, sitting back deeper in her chair.
“Reality is overrated anyway.” Nan waves us off, taking a seat at the edge of the deck. “But what are we all trying to escape from? I want to join y’all.”
The three of us turn to face each other and start laughing.
“Oh, Nan,” Lily says, shaking her head. “You don’t need to worry about us.”
“I always worry about you three, Lily. And when I saw Dallas drive out of town, I knew I especially needed to worry about this one,” she says, hiking her thumb in my direction.
“Why?”
“I’m old, but I’m not blind. At least not yet.” She shrugs. “You two have something going on. There’s a visible chemistry between you two that no one can deny.”
