Page 64 of The Temptation
“I know he did. Sawyer loved me a lot. He was very protective of his little brother.”
Pierce swallowed hard and nodded. Those words seemed to make Pierce shrink again, and something inside me ran cold.What did Sawyer say…?
“We were talking, and I mentioned…I mentioned you made a pass at me on your birthday.”
Embarrassment burned my cheeks, and I nearly groaned. It took an extra second for me to realize that Pierce’s tone had become paper-thin. This was where it had all gone wrong.
“He didn’t take it as the joke you meant it as, did he?”
“He exploded. Said horrible, horrible things. Sawyer shoved me against the wall and started shouting in my face. Said…said I needed to stay away from you. I-I was horrified. For a moment, I couldn’t even answer him. My brain locked up. That…that he would think that I would ever…”
“I know you never considered it.” My fingers gripped Pierce even harder, to the point of my knuckles turning white, but he showed no sign of even noticing. “I was a stupid kid. I should never have fucking asked for a kiss. It was the most ridiculousthing, and it never hurt my feelings when you rejected me. You were always looking out for me. You always wanted what was best for me.”
My words of reassurance appeared to pass right over him. They never touched him. He seemed lost in the horror of the memory.
“I finally snapped out of it and shoved him. Said I wouldn’t touch you. I was so sickened that the idea had crossed his mind, but he refused to back down. He glared at me for a second and said that I had one job and that was to protect you. That you could only ever be my little brother. I promised…I promised him that I’d keep you safe. Wouldn’t…wouldn’t touch you…”
I wanted to kill him. If Sawyer hadn’t been dead already, I would have fucking killed him.
“Asshole,” I hissed. With a growl, I released Pierce’s arms, I climbed to my feet and began pacing the room. “Fucking asshole!”
“No, Simon, don’t.” Pierce sounded completely drained, as if there was nothing left within him. He’d poured out all his secrets and that hidden weight. But instead of feeling lighter, he looked as if he were about to crumble into nothing. “Your brother just wanted to keep you safe.”
“I know that, but to accuse his best friend of something so disgusting? That it crossed his mind that you would even consider it is the biggest betrayal! If he were alive right now, I would beat the living shit out of him. Never in my life have I been so angry at Sawyer. I don’t know whether I could ever forgive him. I?—”
“No!” Pierce lurched to his feet and rushed across the room to me. He caught my shoulders with trembling hands. “This is why I never wanted to tell you. Why I can’t tell Sebastian and the others. I don’t want them to change their opinions of Sawyer. He was a good man at his core. Yes, he was prone to losing histemper and shooting off at the mouth, but you don’t know how many times he went to bat for me. He always had my back. He was the greatest friend I ever had, and I feel like I disappointed him.”
“No, you didn’t.Helet you down. Sawyer knew you, and he should have known that what you were telling him was an amusing anecdote.Sawyer’s silly little brother makes an ass of himself.I’m sure you both had plenty of those stories to tell during college.”
Pierce blinked, and fresh tears streaked along his cheeks, but there was a tiny smile trembling on his lips. “I always thought you were adorable, and so eager.”
I groaned. “Yes, yes, like a puppy. The point is that you and Sawyer were robbed of his fucking apology. I’m sure that if his own stupidity hadn’t distracted him, leading to his death, he would have come to his senses and apologized to you. This whole thing would have blown over. And if I had found out later, I still would have punched him.”
Pierce’s hands fell away from my shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“I do, and I’m sure that’s how it would have worked out.” After dragging in another deep breath and releasing it, I captured Pierce’s limp hand in mine. His fingers were like ice, and it scared me to death. It was like he was shutting down, and I didn’t know how to pull him from his dark edge.
“I promised him, Simon,” he whispered brokenly. “I promised your brother that I would always look out for you. He didn’t wantthis. He knew way back then that I wasn’t good enough for you. You’re an amazingly talented musical genius. The world will always be at your feet, and you deserve someone at your side who can make sure you can achieve everything you dream of.”
Tears burned in my eyes, and I blinked them rapidly away. “First off, if Sawyer dared to have any opinion about my lovelife right now, I’d tell him to fuck off. It’s none of his damned business. And second, are you fucking kidding me?”
Pierce jerked and stared at me as if he couldn’t understand what I was saying.
“Pierce Sutton, you are not a moron! Think about it. Who else knew exactly how to step in when I was burned out and drained after that last concert? You’re the one who took care of me. You put me in pajamas, gave me rain music for white noise, and cuddled me while feeding me cheese. No one has ever taken care of me like that. Not even my parents. Everyone always gave me space to figure myself out.”
“But—”
“Who was the one to step in when I was panicked about writing the concerto and helped me set boundaries? Who made sure I was fed, clean, and warm? You even helped me get my music organized. I feelsafeplaying unfinished music in front of you. I don’t feel safe with anyone like that. Fuck, Pierce!I wrote a nocturne for you.”
“You needed a little help.”
“Yeah, and you were the only one who stepped in and took control to make sure it happened. Everyone else thinks, ‘Oh, he’s a fucking genius. He’ll figure it out.’ No, clearly I won’t. If Sawyer was so damned determined to find the right person to keep me safe and happy, he had been staring him right in the face the entire time. There’s only ever been you.”
Pierce’s expression softened, and some of the pain that had filled his dark eyes had faded. “You’re so amazing. You deserve the world. It’s just that you get so caught up in being brilliant that you forget about taking care of yourself.”
My heart gave an unsteady beat. “I know. I’m high maintenance. No matter how hard I try, I will always be high maintenance. I’d understand if that wasn’t something you wanted for your life.Ugh. Really? Who would? You deservesomeone who doesn’t need a keeper. Who can be an equal partner with you. But if you gave me a shot, I swear I would try so hard to be worthy of you.”
To my surprise, Pierce leaned forward and pressed the gentlest kiss to the center of my forehead. “I have never seen you as less. There’s nothing you have to do to be worthy of me. You are perfect exactly as you are.”
