Page 63 of The Temptation
Pierce stumbled a step, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. “No…”
“Yes. Sebastian and Declan were surprised, but the others weren’t. They’ve suspected something was going on between us for a while now.”
He turned away from me, running a hand through his messy hair. While I was in the bathroom, he’d pulled on his sleep pants and T-shirt from the previous night. They hung on his slender frame, making him seem so thin and fragile compared to his usual heavy armor of bespoke suits.
“What did they say? Were they horrified?” Pierce whispered, his back still turned to me.
“Of course not! They’re fucking worried about you. They want to understand what’s bothering you as much as I do.” I hesitantly edged away from the bathroom, preparing to run after him if he tried to dart in a new direction. “Sebastian, Declan, and Rome told me that after they left to go swimming in the lake that terrible day, you and Sawyer remained behind to fill a cooler. It took a long time. When you two finally appeared, Sawyer seemed pissed, and you looked sick. From that, I’m smart enough to deduce that you two got into it again. I know my brother. He was the king of picking fights. Why won’t you tell me what happened? Since that day, you’ve been completely unwilling to even talk about Sawyer, and I know he was your best friend. Do you blame yourself for his death?”
Pierce flinched, and the hole in my heart tore open a little wider. He’d been torturing himself over Sawyer for more than a decade, and it needed to stop. If anyone had the authority to bring this to a halt, it had to be the man’s brother.
I marched across the room, gently grabbed Pierce’s arm, and guided him to the bed, where I forced him to sit. It was like maneuvering a cowering animal that was afraid of being beaten. When Pierce refused to look up at me, I kneeled on the floor in front of his knees and stared up at him.
“You didn’t kill Sawyer.” I said the words slowly to make sure he heard me. At the same time, I gripped his arms, squeezing as hard as I could. “You were on the dock. Sawyer jumped off the rock. They are several dozen yards apart. You can’t even see the diving rock from the edge of the dock. You have to be out in the water or walk around to it.”
We’d spent countless summers at the cabin when I was growing up. They were the only times my parents had been able to get me to put down my violin and play like a kid. We’d gone swimming, hiking, and out on our pontoon boat. I knew every inch of the land surrounding the cabin and had swum all of that lake. It had been a beloved childhood escape…until Sawyer’s death.
“But…what was said…the fight…”
My heart inched closer to my throat. It was the first time he’d even acknowledged that words had been said between him and Sawyer.
“Yes?”
“What if…what if what we said…it distracted him? He wasn’t thinking clearly, and he jumped…” His voice was barely more than a whisper and so rough, like it had been dragged through the jagged parts of his body before being released into the world.
“Then he wasn’t thinking clearly, and he was jumping when he damn well knew he shouldn’t be,” I argued as forcefully as I could. “You weren’t standing on the rock with him. You didn’t push him. You didn’t bash his skull against the rocks under the water.” Pierce flinched at my words and tried to pull away from the harsh image. My voice wavered, but it had to be said. If this continued any longer, I was afraid that Pierce would eventually do some serious harm to himself.
“No, but?—”
“There’s nobut. You argued. If he was distracted and made the choice to dive, that’s on him. You chose to sit on the dock.If he had taken two seconds to consider what he was doing, he wouldn’t have been diving. He would—” The words became lodged behind a sudden knot of unshed tears. If Sawyer had used an ounce of common sense, he’d be fucking alive today.
“The argument…it was my fault. What I said…I shouldn’t have,” Pierce admitted.
I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat and drew in a noisy deep breath through my nose, trying to force my body to tamp down the old pain so I could help Pierce. “What did you fight about?”
Pierce pressed his lips together in a hard line and shook his head.
“Please, Pierce, I’m on my fucking knees here. Let it out.”
“But I can’t…”
“Why? Because it might change my opinion of my brother? Not possible. I knew the type of person he was. I knew better than any of you could because I lived with him. He was my brother. Yes, he was a good person, and I know he loved me in his own way, but he was also a fucking asshole. My parents, my aunts and uncles, old friends,you—everyone likes to forget that he could be a real dick. He was an opinionated, bossy know-it-all. And when he didn’t get his way, when people didn’t agree with him, he’d throw a tantrum. That’s all I can imagine happened that day. You stood up for what you believed in because you were one of the few people who were willing to do that with him, and his fucking nose got bent out of shape.”
“No, I…” Pierce started, and I held perfectly still, waiting.
“Please.”
Pierce dragged in a ragged breath. He was so pale, it was terrifying. If he didn’t spit this out soon, I was afraid I was going to need to call an ambulance. The man was going to give himself a heart attack.
“We were talking. Joking. He mentioned you. Talked about how you and your parents were coming up soon.”
I rolled my eyes, trying to make light of the moment so we could continue. “What you mean is that he was likely making fun of me.”
Pierce’s eyes darted to me and quickly away. That was all the affirmation that I needed.
“We were as different as night and day. We had very few things in common. I didn’t understand him, and he definitely didn’t understand me.”
“But he loved you,” Pierce said sharply. His eyes held mine now, and there was an almost feverish light to them, a desperation, as if his sanity depended on me believing him.
