Page 78 of Savannah Royals
We’re packing the cards away when Paul stumbles through the door, completely and wildly drunk.
“Katarina,” he slurs. He hangs off the door in the entry hall. “I knew you’d be here.”
Tony scoots closer to me on the couch. Abe rises from his chair.
“Katarina.” Paul tries to come closer, but he trips over the rug and crashes into the table.
Abe walks over to steady Paul by his shoulders. “Let’s get you to bed. You can talk to Kat in the morning, okay?”
“You.” He looks at Abe, storm clouds brewing on his face. “You have some balls, Abe.” Paul gives him a shove backward. Right in the chest. It’s not hard, but Abe isn’t amused.
Tony gets off the couch. Wary.
“Where were you last night, Abe?” Paul asks. “Were you balls deep in my girl?”
“Paul!” I cry out.
Abe takes a deep breath. It sounds deadly, even from across the room. “I was right here, asshole. So was Tony. Whereyoushould have been. With her.”
Tony splits the two apart. “Yes, but not balls deep,” he elucidates, putting a hand on Paul’s heaving chest. “No one was balls deep anywhere last night. Come on, hermano, let’s get you to bed.”
Paul lets Tony tug him forward, but before they get to his bedroom, he turns back for me. “Kat?”
I wait, my arms and legs crossed, wound tighter than a pretzel.
“I’m really sorry,” he finally says.
I blink twice, disarmed. Paul disappears into his bedroom.
I decide to sleep in Abe’s room again. Tony doesn’t follow us though, and without the buffer of his presence, I’m not sure how to behave. I turn on my side, away from Abe as he sinks onto the bed. The springs feel rigged to blow, like even the barest of wrong breaths may light the fuse.
“Don’t worry, Kat,” Abe says. He sounds exhausted. “I’m not going to touch you.”
“Sorry.” I roll back over toward him, shamefaced.
“It’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
“I love you too, Abe,” I whisper as he closes his eyes.
We’re quiet for a few moments, but I need to say something before he falls asleep. I need to close this door. “Hey, Abe?”
“Yeah?” His lids crack open.
“Tony said something earlier.”
“Tony’s an idiot,” Abe replies swiftly, punching his pillow before settling back in. “Whatever he said, you shouldn’t listen.”
“It was about you and me. And Paul. He said sometimes…it hurts you. What we do.”
Abe takes a slow, deep breath. I wait, reading every flicker crossing his face.
“There was a time when it did,” he admits, “but we’re older now, Kat, and I’ve finally realized something. I used to think physical expression of love was the ultimate. I thought it was how you showed someone you love them completely. But it’s not. The love I feel for you, it doesn’t need to be physical to validate it. I don’t think we’re built to last that way.”
“What happened for my birthday…that was the last time, Abe.”
“I know it was. I saw you with the doctor last week, remember? I know where this is headed, and it’s nothing I want to be a part of. You can trust me when I say I’m okay with it. I will always love you, but the bank is closed now. For good.”
I laugh.
