Page 77 of Drive
“Don’t be ridiculous. I get it. Okay? I get it. You’ve had a rough couple of months, but you’re so close to something. Can’t you see it?”
“No.”
“Then believeme,” I said, taking a step toward him.
“Stop. This isn’t a fucking fairytale, Stella. Life doesn’t magically start happening for anyone. Things don’t just begin to go your way because you try. I’m living proof. I tried, Stella. I tried so hard.”
“It happens! It happens and you know it.” I clung to hope. “You only see the success of others, Reid. You have to dig deeper to find out how long it took them to get there. It takes years!”
“I don’t have years, Stella.”
“Reid—”
“I can’t fucking afford to believe anymore!”
He’d never yelled at me before. And I could see his regret the minute he did. He flinched as I moved toward him. I was no longer scared of him; I was terrifiedforhim. Shoulders slumped, his chin to his chest, I felt his thread snap.
“One minute past desperation,” I whispered. “You have to waitoneminute past desperation, Reid. That’s when it happens. You’ll get a break. You will.It’s coming,” I assured him as he looked at me with disbelieving eyes. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Help me unpack my place and then we’ll go have some fun. You need to be inspired. I know just the place.”
Glaring at me, he dug into his pocket and slammed five dollars and change on his counter. “I can’t go anywhere! I can’t afford to buy my woman a goddamned meal!”
“And you know I don’t care about that. We don’t need money. I don’t need anything.”But you.
He scoffed. “You’re so naïve.”
“Stop. I’m in thiswithyou. You know that, Reid. Let’s go to The Garage. Playing always makes you feel better.”
“There is no more Garage. I’m out of the band. I sold my drums to Jason last night. I’m leaving.”
“Last night?” The blood drained from my face and I felt faint. “Why, why, why would you do that?”
“I’m going back to Nacogdoches to live with my parents. My mom needs my help with my dad.”
“You knew last night?”
“I knew a month ago,” he said with a gravelly voice. “And thenyouhappened. I tried, Stella. I just got another job to start graveyard next week, and with the gigs, I thought I could swing it. But it’s too late. I got evicted yesterday.”
He had tried to keep from leaving before he ever touched me. He had stayed for me. It felt beautiful and horrible at the same time. Tears slipped out one by one as I realized the gravity of it all.
“That’s why you let Lia take everything?”
He gave a sharp nod. And my fight kicked back in.
“I’ll help. I’ll do whatever I can—”
“Like what? Shoving tips into my books? Your sister told me about that, Stella.”
I would never speak to her again.
“I can’t make it here and keep sending everything to my mother. I can’t fucking make it. I have to go.”
“You can stay with me. I want you to stay withme.”
“I want you to stop trying to take care of me! Goddammit, Stella, stop!”
My heart plummeted as he looked around his living room and then made a beeline for his bedroom. Following him with a flat-lining heart, I watched him pull out a large duffle and begin loading his clothes. “I can’t stay with you, Stella. I just can’t. I don’t want to screw things up for you. And my mom needs me.”
“She doesn’t deserve your help! They got themselves into their own mess. She doesn’t deserve you as a son!”
