Page 230 of Severed Heart
Something worth fighting for.
And so for her, for him, I’ll force myself to soldier on.
* * *
“Tyler.” My name is called as I try to register the familiarity of the man kneeling in front of me. His face coming into focus as he calls my name a second time. Or a third. “Please, Tyler, look at me,” Sean pleads. “Please, brother, you’re scaring the fuck out of me,” he croaks as I fully focus on him.
“What?”
“You’ve been sitting here for a solid twenty-four hours.” He darts his eyes over my shoulder. “Zach is terrified. He called me and told me you haven’t gone into the house.”
I glance back at the brick and mortar before peering through the glass door at the boy with fear-filled eyes, who’s staring right back at me. When we pulled up from the funeral, I told Zach to go inside. That I’d be right in, but I never made it past the front porch step.
“Fuck,” I rasp out.
“I’ve got everything handled,” Sean assures, “but you have got to get ahold of yourself, for him. Okay?”
I nod.
“Russell is delegating, but I came to ask what you need. Tell me.”
Checking myself, terrified of what I’ve already done to Zach, I go through a mental list of shit I know has to be done. “You need to pass out blessings.”
“No,you, brother. What doyouneed?”
A silver return stare.“Nothing,” I utter.
“We can argue that lie later, but for now, for Zach, can you try to get to your feet?” he asks, as I glance over to his idling Nova to see Tessa sitting in the passenger seat, her anxious eyes glued to us both.
“Not yet,” I tell him. “Just give me a minute.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours,” Sean releases, not bothering to conceal the concern in his tone, “but if you’re not in that house by the time I get back, we’re going to have to figure something out. You’re scaring him.”
“Fuck, I didn’t realize.” I palm my neck and nod. “All right.”
“He’ll be fine, okay? Just try to make it into the house. I’ll be back. I love you, brother.”
The second Sean pulls out I hear the noise of another vehicle passing and glance up to see my dad’s F-150 pulling to a stop. Dread settles into me as I look back to see the fear in Zach’s eyes before he pushes through the storm door.
Of all the people to call, kid. Seriously?
My dad exits his truck and stalks over to me as I finally stand, my legs tight from being idle for so long as I step toward him.
“I don’t know what he told you, but we’re fine here. You can go.”
“Son, I held back at the funeral, but I’m begging you to let me stay today.”
Zach chooses that moment to walk out as I attempt to get to some sort of healthier headspace while running interference on Carter.
“What are you doing?” I prompt Zach as he stalks down the porch to stand next to my dad.
“You need him,” Zach declares.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know him,” I counter. “Look, bud,” I relay on exhale, “now isn’t the time—”
“Yes, I do know him,” he interjects. “We spend every Sunday together,” he proclaims. “Who do you think taught me that mean curveball?”
“What?” I ask, gaping at him before glaring at my father. “You’ve been sneaking behind my fucking back?”
