Page 123 of Severed Heart
“Don’t do this,” I grit out. “You weren’t drunk.”
“I am drunkevery night. I do things I regret every day. You are my regret today.”
“You’re lying.”
“Loveis the fucking liar, Soldier, and the sooner you learn that, the better soldier you will be.” She swallows, and I can feel her hesitation before she speaks and levels me with her gaze. “Love is lying to you right now. Telling you things are so simple between us, but they are not. The truth you don’t want to hear is that you are an eighteen-year-oldboy.”
“You already love me,” I grit out. “Soldier of your heart,your words,” I remind her.
“I love mynephewswith what heart remains, and they are all I have left. I won’t be thedisgustingaunt who ruined their childhood and humiliated them by fucking their friends. I won’t be the laughingstock of this town who looks so desperate she has to fuck ateenage boy. Go. Do not come back to this house until that look is gone. Go, soldier. This is the last order I will give you.”
“I’m not your—”
“Ah, so then you are not my soldier?” she fires next, crossing her arms. “Your words to me. ‘Your soldier,loyally and faithfully yours’ was another lie?”
I slam my palm on the counter. “This is a truly fucking genius twist, but I’m not that simple-minded, Delphine. You’re being predictable. That’s not the way I fucking meant those words, and you know it.”
“It is the only way those words will ever mean anything to me. Promise me it never happened.”
“Don’t do this.” I bite my lip as I realize just how much power she has over me. How much power I gave her.
She sighs again, snatching the vodka from the counter and unscrewing the cap as I brace myself for the worst.
“Take your crush and go. It’s not welcome here, and if you cannot be adult enough to leave it at home, do not come back.”
“You done?” I ask as her eyes flare.
“You’re right, I’ve been a horrible ... aunt,” she exhales through swollen lips. Lips I spent hours kissing. Lips which kissed me back just as frenzied, just as tenderly. Lips that are currently spewing lies, anything to distance us.
“I didn’t mean it—”
“As strained as it may be,” she continues, “the relationship I have with my nephews now is far different than years ago. I won’t risk that progress for this little affair you have in your head. I’ve brought enough shame to myself, to my family, to Celine’s memory.”
“Liar, you fucking liar,” I snap. “You were there,” I say, resentment clear as I lower my voice, “in every sense of the word. You felt it. You kissed me back. You pulled me closer. That was you, Delphine. You can’t fucking fake that.”
“It’s a delusion, Tyler. What you want to believe about us is not the truthfor me. If you love me as you say you do,” she interjects, her insistent ice eyes steel resolve, “make the promise I am asking for. Forget this ever happened. Treat it—treat me—as if it never did, or my nephews will read the heartbreak on you and have something else to hate me for. They are all I have left.”
“They don’t even fucking see you—” I bite my tongue, knowing I’m playing into her if I strike back with any more insult. Staring back at her, I raise my sword once more.
“I just spent the last two years of my life showering you with every bit of the love I have, proving how kind love can be.”
“And I let youfuck mefor it. Do you feel compensated enough”—she tilts her head menacingly—“or entitled to more?”
I gape at her. That blow far too hard-hitting. Unable to swallow, I find myself unable to react, to say a single fucking word in response. To back up any promise I made to her or myself. Instead of fighting, I feel every goddamn word she’s spoken to my core. In truth, sheisshowing up for battle. For two men. Men that aren’t me but might very well take what residence she has left in her heart.
I knew an excuse was coming, and I knew it would be good, but this ... I expected to be able to barter with myself and make allowances, to duel with her on anything. But it’s the severity of her dismissal and the fact that I’m guilty of everything she’s accused me of that has me gridlocked.
The way I acted last night, bursting in in a jealous rage, insulting her, and then touching her before pressing her for more physically. It sinks in then that I might have let the wants of my heart rule my head far too much. That I might have misjudged and taken one hellacious overstep assuming she felt the same way. Thinking back, she’s never once said a single word in agreement with me—of a future between us. The words of love and devotion, of a future, were allmine.My heart starts a freefall as I gaze back at her, unable to absorb the blow.
“If Ievermade you feel like that,” I rasp out as tears I couldn’t hold if my fucking life depended on it streak my face, “like you owed me, then I have failed you.” I swallow in defeat.
It’s then I see a tiny sliver of remorse snaking through her ice-coated eyes. For the briefest of moments, I glimpse the woman I fell in love with, even as her next words decimate me.
“You didn’t force me, Soldier, and I won’t allow you to think that, but it wasa mistake.So I’m asking you now, please, Tyler, never look at me the way you are now again. Push this idea out of your mind and forget it happened. I’m a drunk—”
“Stop,” I wheeze as my heart finally hits the asphalt, the shatter reaching every corner of me, far too many pieces to ever be put back right.
She’s made her decision, and it isn’t me.
