Page 122 of Severed Heart
“So, my own papa decided that my virtue—that myworth—was worth a spoon of heroin.”
“Jesus Christ,” I utter, cupping my jaw.
“My consolation is that they killed him for not getting to collect hisbet.” She points to herself. “I’m a bad bet, Soldier.”
Both rage and devastation war within me as I step forward, and she steps back twice as far.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
“I can still hear Matis’s pathetic fucking cries as his old army friend ripped me from my papa’s arms to save me from being his sacrifice. I can hearlove the fucking liarbegging me, so clearly, to forgive him,” she whispers, holding up her shaking hand. “Reaching for me in the snow.”
Her eyes mist, and I visibly see her getting lost in that day as she speaks again, her next whisper barely audible.“Open your eyes, little flower. Please don’t break my heart.”
“Baby,please,” I croak, my insides bottoming out. “Please listen to me, I swear I didn’t mean anything I said in anger. I swear to God. I was in a really bad place. Fuck, I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth.” The need to pull her to me becomes unbearable as her eyes flash briefly with vulnerability.
She’s in there, Jennings. Hold steady.
“That doesn’t change the fact you believe me capable of using a tactic so callous to give you an answer instead of simply speaking one. So, I will make it simple for you. I don’t want your jealous fucking love, Tyler. I don’t wantany man’s lovefor that very reason.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” she delivers with metal eyes in an emotionless tone. “It’s a ridiculous dream you have.”
“You know I would never hurt you.”
“Do I? Just after that insult, did you not use words to try and hurt me in ways you discovered during our friendship? Preying on my weaknesses?”
“I’ll do anything to make it up to you,” I whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She approaches and stops just next to me, staring down at the counter, her delivery slightly less icy. “I believe thatyou believethe words you spoke to me about your affection, but those are your words, your desires,not mine.”
That blow strikes hard, despite how well I was prepped for it and whatever else she decides to deliver.
“We were okay when I left. What happened? Where did your mind go?”
It’s when she slowly lifts her resolute gaze up to mine that I know I underestimated just how not okay we were when I left.
“What happened? You happened.” She shakes her head in refusal. “Or maybe I remembered that I come with a high price, Soldier, and you have the look in your eyes of abuyer.”
“Fine.” I swallow. “You don’t think I was already ready to pay for Matis and Alain? Think again. You couldn’t be more fucking wrong. I’ll pay any price you ask because you’re worth it for me.”
“Any price,” she repeats with a sharp nod.
I swallow, knowing I just fucked up.
“Then I ask for a promise.”
“No.”
“Oui. Forget your foolish idea of us. Treat me as if this never happened.”
“Never. Delphine. Never, it’s far too fucking late for that,” I snap. My hackles rise as her darkness begins to fill the room, and her silver eyes dare me to look inside. I face it—her—head-on.
“Then love has made a liar of you already,” she scoffs. “Have you even considered what I want?”
“You want me. You want us. This is bullshit, and I’m not buying it.”
“Fool,” she condemns me. “What I truly want is for you to promise me you will take that look in your eyes, never to bring it back to this house or me. If last night did not satisfy the rest of your curiosity, then your imagination will have to do. It will never happen again.”
