Page 45 of Forbidden Obsession
“I understand, my love.” Tugging him closer, I take comfort in his warmth. “I’ll support your choice to stay behind.”
He collapses again, head on my shoulder, sobbing. To be honest, I expected this, and I hate to be the cause of it, but we need this moment, just as we’ve needed all the ones that have come before. Just as we need all the moments yet to be.
I kiss his ear and then murmur into it. “Our souls are connected, Jindal, forever, and though distance may part our bodies for a time, nothing can separate our souls. One day, this will be nothing but one more memory along with all the rest.”
We go to bed, and my heart breaks as he cries himself to sleep.
ChapterEighteen
Jindal
Rahz has goneto visit with his mother, and though my father gave me the stink-eye for it, I’ve abandoned my work to seek out Bessa. Rahz has given me permission to tell her everything, and it’s all I can think about. Maybe she will know what to say to get him to stay.
Bessa will understand. She’ll help me.
As I race to her doorstep, people look at me funny. Probably because I haven’t really stopped crying since I woke this morning. At first, I was thrilled to have Rahz back at my side again, and then, as reality vanquished my dream world, I was distraught that he’ll be leaving again so soon. I must look a mess, bedraggled and puffy-eyed.
I barely stop to knock on Bessa’s door. Barging in would be rude, and though I’m not a child anymore, it’s all I can do to wait for her to answer.
She opens it, gets one look at my face, and tugs me inside. I fall apart all over again in her arms.
“He’s leaving me,” I sob wetly on her shoulder. We are of the same height, but she’s built stronger than I am, and thank goodness for that because she’s holding me up.
“What’s happened?” She rubs my back. “There, there, calm down enough so you can talk to me.”
I’ve never been good at calming down. Being here with her, in her loving embrace, only makes me cry harder. I don’t know why. When I’m sad and people are nice to me, I lose all composure.
Bessa shuffles us over to the lounge in the living room side of her cottage. It’s all the same room, really: living, cooking, and dining. Through the doorway is a bedroom, and that’s the extent of her little home.
We flop onto the seat as one, and she lets me cry it out, all the while patting me and murmuring soothing words into my ear.
Am I too old for this?
Yes.
Do I care?
Absolutely not, though I’ll probably be embarrassed about it later. I managed to hold myself together enough to send Rahz on his way to visit his mother. I didn’t want him worrying about me during his time with her. But now I’m lost, drowning in my fears. Being alone, losing Rahz, everything changing.
Change is hard. It’s the unknown wrapped up in the ambiguous, and I crave the comfort of the familiar.
When I’ve stopped wailing enough to talk, Bessa teases the story from me bit by bit.
“Come now, love. From the beginning, please. Whatever it is cannot be all that bad.”
“Oh, but it is!” My throat hurts from all the crying, and my voice is scratchy. “Rahz is leaving again.”
Bessa’s brows crease. She pushes my messy hair behind my ears. “Slowly, and don’t leave anything out. He must have good reasons. What did he say?”
I pour everything out to her like a river plummeting down a waterfall. In the telling, my tears return. She never stops coddling me, patting my knee, and encouraging me to keep going. Whatever I’ve done to deserve a woman like Bessa in my life, it hasn’t been enough.
“Oh, Bessa, I’m sorry to burden you with this. I have no one else to go to, and it’s too big to keep inside me.”
“Of course, love. That’s foul news to swallow, it is. But, Jin, we’ve seen this coming, haven’t we? Is it really that much of a surprise that our dear Rahz wants to help those people?”
“Let someone else help them.”
“Now, now, don’t be rash. Rahz is strong. He’s clever and kind and powerful but most of all, Rahz has a huge heart. You should know because he’s given so much of it to you.”
