Page 44 of Forbidden Obsession
“That’s what took us so long. We had to stay in Lemossin several extra days, so Suvi could catch me up on everything I’d need to know, so I could meet the right people, so we could plan what to do.”
Jindal’s face has frozen, his expression iced over. Only his eyelids move as he blinks.
“She has soldiers in place in Willowood, just before Irondale, a troop loyal only to her, with two mages already in their ranks, but none so strong as me. If I were to join them—”
“You can’t,” Jin wails, looking shocked by his outburst as though it took him by surprise.
“I must.” I knew this part was going to be awful. “If the queen is allowed to raise an army, an army she plans to fill with mixlings who are more capable both physically and magically, there’ll be no stopping her. Aurielle will slaughter all the rebels, man, woman, child. She cares not who’s innocent. But Suvi’s troop is already formed. We can get there first. Warn them and help move them to safety. You can’t kill what you can’t find. Then Aurielle will be forced to consider peace talks. That’s all Suvi wants. Peace.”
Jindal is shaking his head, and I’m not sure how much he’s hearing me anymore. “But not you, Rahz. Not you. You’re safe here.”
“Jin.” I put my spoon down and take his hand in mine. “Those people need help. They could die. And I have a chance to be a part of saving them.”
He lets out a sad whimper.
The rise and fall of his chest quickens, a telltale sign he’s beginning to panic. I pull him to my side. “You know I can protect myself. And Suvi has a solid plan in place. She doesn’t want fighting if it can be avoided.”
“But you just got back.” His voice is quiet, and his hand is oddly limp in mine. “I can’t lose you again.”
Here it is. The big ask. I brace myself. “Come with me. You’re clever and agile and fast. You can help us.”
Our eyes lock, his getting more watery by the second. He parts his lips, but words don’t come.
“It won’t be forever, but we must go soon. The timing is crucial. Suvi wanted to send me there directly, but I insisted on returning to tell you first. To ask you to join me. I hated being parted from you, Jin. I missed you every moment.”
The tears spill over his lids. There was never any chance of him holding them back. He flings himself into my lap and clings to me. “Don’t leave.”
I hold him, and we rock. “I must.”
“You could get hurt.”
“The risk is worth the reward. Those people are helpless.”
“But this…fighting, war…this is your nightmare.”
He’s right. I’ve tossed and turned over dreams of battle in night terrors for years, but it doesn’t matter. “I have to go.”
“When?”
A sad sigh swallows me. “Not tomorrow morning but the next.”
“So soon? Why you?” He persists, miserable, his shoulders shaking. I squeeze him close. “Why couldn’t she send anyone else but you?”
“She’s been looking for someone like me for quite some time before we met. It’s my magic she needs, my magic, and of course my belief in her cause. She’ll make a good queen one day, Jindal. Aurielle can’t keep the throne forever, and Suvi will usher in the changes Luminia deserves. I could play a small part in that. For the good of all of us.”
Jindal shakes as he cries, his face damp where he’s buried it in my neck. Oh, I love him so. To cause him pain like this is agony, but whereas Jindal has always struggled to see the greater good, I cannot pretend I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I rub circles on his back under his wings, trying to soothe him, though I know he can’t be soothed.
“I’m sorry, Rahz. I’m sorry. I’m so, so…”
“You’re fine as you are, my love. Cry all you need. I may join you this time. I feel it coming.”
He glances up, his face all splotchy and sad. My eyes water. Usually, I can hold back tears. This time, I can’t.
One droplet escapes, streaking a wet trail down my cheek.
Jin swipes it gently with his thumb. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t let you go, but neither can I demand you stay. That would be unfair to you. Yet I can’t join you either.” He drops his gaze. “My mother is here.”
That’s what I was afraid of. I wish he’d come. We belong together. But I won’t tear him from the one hope he’s held on to as long as I’ve known him. That his mother will wake and love him for who he is in a way his father can’t. But she could be dormant for a hundred more cycles—we have no way of knowing—and the humans need my help now.
