Page 47 of Forbidden Obsession
ChapterNineteen
Rahz
The heatof the day creeps in on us, but Mother and I stay comfortable in the shade, rocking on the porch swing that overlooks our small garden. The air smells of flower blossoms and the booming mint crop that’s threatening to take over the rest of the patch. I make a note to trim it back. One last little thing I can do for Mum before I go.
But not yet because this is nice. The rhythmic creaking of rope against wood as we swing lulls me to calm. Today is the first—and likely the only—day I have without any travel in some time.
We’re enjoying a companionable silence. Well, not silent. She’s singing, which may also be contributing to my delightfully drowsy state. The tune she hums is melancholy but lovely in its way. A lullaby, though not one she ever sang to me. Her lullabies were always of the cheerful variety. This tune is somber, but her voice is soothing and rich nonetheless.
I’ve explained everything to her, and though she worries for my safety, as Jindal does, she understands why I must go. She’s given me her blessing, and I’m at peace with my decision. All that’s left is to enjoy this time together before I head back to Jindal to comfort him as best I can.
Early this evening, I’ll meet with Falen at the quarry. He’s not coming to Irondale with me, but his family has armor and a sword he said I can have. Not that a sword will do me much good. I haven’t been properly trained. The few fencing lessons we had in our youth I’ve rightly forgotten. But Suvi says there will be time to train with her troops if I so desire, and I do. Though I’m not planning to fight with a sword but with my magic, it’s a skill I’ll enjoy learning. And I’m going to need to stay busy, or missing Jindal will send me spiraling.
In addition to the armor and sword, Falen is bringing a horse for Jindal. I asked him to pick out the sweetest, most mild-mannered gelding he could find. Wishful thinking on my part that Jindal would decide to come with me and therefore need a horse, but better to be prepared.
Suvi was generous enough to send along money for the animal. Jindal will get to keep him, even though he’s not coming, and with any luck, the horse will comfort him while I’m away. I worry about him being alone here. Even though he has friends and Bessa, I know he’ll be lonely without me. And sad. I hate to think of Jindal being sad.
Speaking of Jindal…
He comes flying over the back gate in a flutter of wings and abandon, hollering my name.
“Rahz!” He’s winded, breathless as the words come tumbling out. “Rahz, I’m coming with you. I’ll come with you. We won’t be alone, neither of us, because I’m coming too.”
He lands, half kneeling and half flopped over my shoulder, on my lap, sending our porch swing rocking wildly. I grab him, confused. Hope tries desperately to bloom in my chest, but I tamp it down until I’m sure he’s saying what I think he’s saying.
Mother is smiling, watching us, and holding on to the rail of the swing for dear life lest Jin send us all hurtling to the ground with his unbridled excitement.
“I’m coming with you.” He holds my face in his hands, realizes we’re not alone, and returns my mother’s smile with an answering grin. “Hello, Ms. Starling.”
“Hullo, Jinny.” She pats his arm. She’s used to him. His wild nature, his enthusiasm and flightiness, his silly whims, and his sweet words. All the things that made me love him. “Shall I leave you two alone, then?”
“You don’t have to,” he says a bit more calmly.
She rises from the swing. “I think I will, though.”
“Sorry for interrupting.” Jindal has the courtesy to look sheepish.
“Don’t be.” She pats his arm again and kisses his temple. “There’s no need, and I’m glad you came.”
When we’re alone, he shuffles into her spot while still managing to stay half in my lap.
“What about your mother?” I trust Jindal with my life, but I don’t trust this quick turnabout, not yet. It feels too good to be true.
“I’ve thought about that. I’ve been thinking over it for hours.” The longing in his eyes burns bright. “And I have to believe my mother will love me one day, no matter where I am. Butyoulove me now. And I love you. My place is by your side. Your fight is my fight.”
I’m stunned. It’s what I wanted to hear but never really expected him to say.
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize as much right away. I was overwhelmed. And afraid.” He glances down. “My mind doesn’t work very well when I feel like that. But Bessa helped me calm down. She helped me to see.”
I tip his head up. “You’re really willing to leave Jodpirn for me?”
He nods. I almost don’t recognize the determined expression on his face. “For you, yes, but not only for you. For the humans who need us. For the princess who has vowed to help them. For your mum and for Bessa. Because it’s the right thing for me to do. I want to go with you.”
My heart takes up so much space in my chest I can’t breathe. I’m so proud of him, my Jin, my love, yet I’m sad for him too. That he’ll need to leave the side of his sleeping mother in order to come along, and such a long way at that. “Are you sure? I meant it when I said I understood why you needed to stay behind.”
“I know you did.” He squirms closer, draping one leg heavily over mine. “I appreciate that, truly, but I want to be someone my mother can be proud of when she wakes. Someone more like you, who thinks of others first rather than needing to be dragged over the coals before realizing what’s right under their nose.”
The truth of his decision sinks in, along with a rush of warmth. I grab him, yank him in for a chest-crushing hug, and bury my face in his neck. “You're allowed to take all the time you need. Don’t ever let me rush you.”
