Page 17 of The House at Hope Corner
‘There’s nothing wrong with lighting the fire as such,’ continued Hannah. ‘But what happens when Ned wants to sit in the front room and have a warm-up after a hard day’s work… and all the wood is gone? Are you seriously going to chop the logs?’
‘Well yes, I would. I’d try anyway. I wouldn’t expect Ned to do it.’
‘Ah, but wouldhebe happy with you doing it?’
Flora frowned. She hadn’t thought of it like that. But Ned wouldn’t mind, surely…
‘After all, you wouldn’t expect him to bake the cake for supper, would you?’
‘I wouldn’t expect him to, no, but I wouldn’t mind if he did. I don’t see that it’s any more my job than it is his… It’s about sharing the workload.’
‘Which is fine if Ned worked in an office, but he doesn’t. He works from early morning to late at night and it’s hard, physical work which, however much you might want to, you couldn’t possibly share. Believe me, there’s nothing equal about the workload on a farm and these modern ideas are all very well, but they just don’t seem to fit in with life here. You could spend an awful long time and a lot of heartache trying to find that out for yourself, or… you could just accept it.’
Hannah gave her a sympathetic smile. ‘I do understand how you feel,’ she said. ‘And it’s commendable that you want to do your bit to help on the farm, but if you want to feel useful then it’s better if you realise that it’s your job to support Ned in doing his, rather than to try and change things. You can still have your little hobbies and so on, and goodness, no one is saying that you have to do things exactly as I do…’
But they are, thought Flora, that’s exactly what’s being suggested.
‘…You’ll find your own way of doing things, put your own stamp on the household… which brings me rather neatly to the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.’ She leant forward in her chair. ‘Fraser and I have been talking, and I realise that there’s a huge amount that needs to be discussed with regard to the wedding, but we’d very much like you to consider having it here. What do you think?’
Flora thought that this was a conversation she would rather be having with Ned at her side, but she couldn’t possibly say so.
‘Your offer is lovely, Hannah, thank you. I’ll make sure I talk to Ned about it soon so we can decide, and please thank Fraser for me, it’s a very generous gesture.’
‘And it could be the most enormous fun, don’t you think?’ Hannah drank the last of her tea. ‘A big upheaval of course, but I think we could manage it, and I’ve also been thinking…’ She leaned in again. ‘Now don’t quote me on this, because it’s not for definite yet, but I have made a suggestion to Fraser about our domestic arrangements, and I think he might be prepared to consider it.’
‘Go on…’ said Flora, sounding more cautious than she had intended.
‘Some years ago when Ned was… well, when he was in a different relationship, Fraser and I decided that it might be the right moment to give Ned a little more space for… entertaining and the like.’ Hannah broke off to clear her throat, slightly embarrassed at the mention of Ned’s past. ‘And the sheds at the far end of the yard are very well built so it didn’t take much to start converting them into a cottage for us. It has always been our intention that, once Fraser and I retire, the farm would pass into Ned’s name along with the farmhouse. The cottage would provide the perfect place for us to downsize, leaving Ned and this… person to take up the reins, raise a family and so on. However, when things didn’t work out with the girl in question, it didn’t seem sensible to waste all that time and money and so the work on the cottage stopped. But now that you’re here it changes things again. Of course there are plenty of years left in Fraser yet, and so we’re not about to retire immediately…’ She broke off to give a rather forced laugh. ‘But everything at the cottage is still in place so it wouldn’t take much to restart the alterations. I wondered if it might provide a solution to any… difficulties we might have, all living under the one roof.’ She sat back, clearly pleased with her suggestion.
‘I’m sorry, Hannah. I’m not sure I’m following you.’
‘Well, like I said, nothing is definite, but seeing as you and Ned are going to be married soon, I thought it might be rather nice for you to have a little more space of your own. It wouldn’t be straight away of course, there’s still a bit of work to do in finishing off the conversion for us, but I do think that Fraser might consider it. It wouldn’t change anything as far as the running of the farm goes though,’ she clarified, just in case Flora thought otherwise. ‘At least, not at the moment. But if we moved out at some point you might feel that the house becomes more your domain than at present. Which in turn might also help you to settle in.’ Hannah plucked at an imaginary piece of fluff on her sleeve. ‘It’s all about feeling in control, isn’t it?’ She smiled. ‘Think of it as a wedding present, if you like.’ She sat back, beaming.
But Flora didn’t feel like it was a wedding present. She felt like she had pushed Hannah and Fraser out of their home. Was she really that difficult to live with?
Hannah inhaled a cleansing breath. ‘I’m so pleased we’ve had the opportunity to have this little chat,’ she said. ‘Rather overdue, I suspect, and I am sorry you got so upset. But I hope that things are a little clearer now?’
Flora nodded dutifully.
‘And you must always come and ask me if you need help with anything. Us women have to stick together, don’t we?’ Hannah glanced at her watch. ‘Now, shall I finish off the bread and make a start on the soup? We don’t want the men missing two meals, do we?’ Her eyebrows were raised.
Flora got to her feet. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I might just go and tidy myself up a bit, if that’s okay? Wash my face, that sort of thing.’
‘Of course,’ replied Hannah. ‘It wouldn’t do to have Ned see you looking like that.’ She frowned slightly. ‘Not that you don’t still look lovely, I didn’t mean it like that. But men don’t really understand, do they? Ned will take one look at you, see that you’ve been crying and want to know why… and that’s when it all gets rather complicated. Best not to let them see in the first place, dear.’
Flora was rather banking on Ned understanding, but she simply nodded instead. ‘I won’t be long,’ she said, and slipped from the room.
But she didn’t go upstairs. Instead she crept back into the dining room where her things were all still laid out on the table. The room was still warm, or warmer than the rest of the house at least, but the fire had died down and was now just a bed of glowing ashes. Flora picked up a poker from the set on the hearth and gave it a vicious prod. She could feel tears threatening again but, by inhaling deeply and clamping her back teeth together, she managed to keep them at bay. This was so much harder than she had thought. Ordinarily she would have spoken her mind, pointed out that Hannah’s rigid ideals were entrenched in a past that had no bearing on how Flora lived her life. But how could she speak up when this was Ned’s mother, and she had no idea how he really felt on the subject? She stared sadly at the table. Perhaps that was part of the problem. She didn’t really know how Ned felt about anything much.
With a sigh, she began to clear away the debris of lino waste that littered the table. She had so nearly finished her print and had been pleased with how it had progressed, but she had no stomach to complete it now. The sketches she had made were almost finished too, and at least one of them was of sufficient quality that with a little extra work she could offer it for sale. But it would be going back in the box along with the rest of her things. Flora didn’t really know when they would be unpacked again. And that meant no pictures for Grace to sell, and no money either.
Chapter Seven
Lunch was fine. Normal service had been resumed and although Fraser was very quiet, he didn’t appear to be harbouring any ill feeling. Flora could see that Hannah was relieved to have got things off her chest as well; it was just Flora who wasn’t at all sure how she felt.
It was heading towards late afternoon by the time Flora was finally free to visit Ned. And she still wasn’t sure which way to think. She veered between bouts of anger at the sense of injustice she felt, and guilt that she could dare to feel such a thing. She was the newcomer here. She had no right to expect things to change simply because of her arrival, and who was she to think that her way of doing things was any better than anyone else’s? Hannah was obviously happy with her lot, as was Fraser, and even though their old-fashioned attitudes made her want to scream, it was just a different way of life. It didn’t make them bad people.
And so, hens fed, she set off for the milking parlour in determined fashion. It seemed ridiculous that Flora hadn’t yet ventured this far into the farm. Hannah had shown her where things were a little closer to the farmhouse and waved in vague fashion at the rest, but she’d had no need to go exploring on her own, or the inclination as it happened; it would have felt like trespassing. Ned had offered to take her but every time he was free it was already dark.
