Page 76 of Forever to Fall
One hour, a six pack, and a pizza later, the two men were sprawled out on the couch, an old kung-fu movie playing on the TV. Evan hadn’t said much since they arrived, and Beckett couldn’t blame him. He tried his best to lighten the mood, asking stupid questions about the movie to get a rise out of Evan.
“Isn’t that Bruce Lee?” he asked, gesturing to the TV with his empty beer bottle. Not only was it clearly not the martial artist, but it wasn’t even a man. A woman in a yellow dress ran across the screen to hide from the bad guys, who were also clearly not the legend.
“Yeah,” Evan sighed, tossing a pizza crust onto the coffee table and missing the box completely.
Beckett groaned and turned off the TV, shoving the remote next to the pizza box. He’d clean up this mess later, but first he needed to get his buddy back. “Okay, listen up, Lawless.” He nudged him with his elbow. “We’re going to do what I absolutely hate.”
“Talk about feelings?”
Beckett brandished his empty beer bottle and rolled his eyes. “Correct. We’re going to talk about feelings. When CeCe gets off work, just go over and talk to her.”
Evan frowned. “She probably wants to call off the wedding.” Evan couldn’t have said something more outlandish if he tried.Hey, when I’m done dumping the woman I love, how about I take up chainsaw juggling?
“What?” Beckett was incredulous.
Evan jumped to his feet and paced into the kitchen, pulling out a beer and popping the top without offering one to Beckett. Taking a long pull, he downed half the bottle before he made it back to the couch.
“You know it’s rude to drink your friend’s last beer without even offering it to him.”
Evan flipped him the bird. “Yeah, I think I’m allowed to drown my sorrows because the woman I love hates me.”
“Okay.” Beckett made a show of checking his watch. “This pity party can last for another sixty seconds, and then I’m calling it. CeCe doesn’t hate you; she is just not a fan of your nana’s ring. Don’t you want her to be happy about the ring she’s supposed to wear for the rest of her life?”
Finally, Evan seemed to listen. He bobbed his head a couple of times before finishing the beer and letting out a belch that was better served for a college dorm room. “I’m so freaking confused.”
“You know how you can fix that?” Beckett teased, standing to collect their trash. He sensed a shift in his friend’s demeanor and hoped that meant he’d have his apartment to himself again. Evan was great, but his social battery was waning fast. “Go over and see CeCe. Doesn’t she get off work soon?”
Evan burped again, this time covering his mouth and grunting an apology. “I’m too drunk to drive,” he mused.
Beckett tossed the box in the trash and clattered the beer bottles into the recycling bin. The echo of broken glass echoed in his tiny apartment. During times like this, he missed the farm house with its cavernous rooms and homey vibes. He could have roamed the rows of apple trees for hours clearing his head. Instead, he might as well have been back in college cleaning up after frat brothers.
Jingling his keys, he tossed Evan his shoes and chuckled. “I’ll drive you over to CeCe’s, but you need to not be a big baby about this. I feel terrible that I blabbed, but you need to hear her out.”
Evan stumbled as he put his shoes back on, but he quickly corrected and ran his hands through his hair. “How do I look?”
Beckett took in his friend’s rumbled appearance, from the T-shirt with a pizza stain to the dark smudges under his startlingly blue eyes. Those were the same eyes he’d stared into for most of his life, always reflecting back acceptance and warmth. He owed Evan the truth, owed him the full story of him and Mallory. It was time.
Whether it was years of friendship or just dumb luck, Evan seemed to read his mind. “You know,” he said as he buckled into Beckett’s passenger seat. When the car turned on, he silenced the radio and faced Beckett. “You didn’t seem to hit it off with Julia. What happened?”
Beckett squeezed the steering wheel so tightly, he was surprised it didn’t crack in half. “She’s not my type.”
Evan snorted. “How come no girl I find you is your type? No matter who I bring around, she’s never good enough.”
That wasn’t true at all. If anything, Evan had brought perfection to his door and couldn’t match the excellence of Mallory. “I don’t know, Lawless. I’m just not as good with the ladies as you are.”
“Yeah, right.” Evan punched his arm and leaned back in his seat. “I want you to be as happy with someone as I am with CeCe.”
Beckett’s throat tightened at his friend’s admission, his grip loosening to make a turn onto CeCe’s street. “I want that, too.” He let the truth out on an exhale, hoping Evan wouldn’t pick up on how tortured he sounded.
Just as Beckett put the car in park, Evan spun to face him, his gaze stern yet serious. “I want you to know something, Beckett.” The lack of his nickname brought his pulse skyrocketing.
“Um, yeah?” A bead of sweat rolled down his temple, and he regretted turning off the car. Not only was it stifling, but he felt he was about to make a quick exit.
“If you’re...” Evan’s words faltered as he flapped his hands between them. “What I mean is, if you’re...” Evan’s head fell back and he groaned. “Dammit, I’m really bad at this.”
“Uh, considering I don’t know what’s going on, I’d agree.” Beckett strived to keep his tone light, but he was petrified.
Muttering to himself, Evan finally caught Beckett’s eye and blurted, “It’s cool if you’re gay. I’ll stop throwing women at you. I just wish you would have told me, man.”
