Page 77 of Forever to Fall
Beckett couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. It could have been the stress of the last few days or the general absurdity of Evan’s assumptions, but he couldn’t hold back his reaction if he tried. “What?” He coughed as his laughter subsided.
For his part, Evan was mortified and looked like he wanted to melt into the car’s upholstery. “That’s not the reaction I expected.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
Removing his glasses, Beckett dabbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry, Lawless, it’s really nice of you to support me coming out. The only problem is, I’m not gay.”
Evan’s expression shifted to shock, his eyebrows reaching his hairline. “You’re not?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Then why won’t you go out with any of these women?” Evan threw his arms in the air. “It’s almost like you’re trying to die alone.”
This is it, Beckett told himself. The moment he’d been waiting for. He needed to tell Evan the truth. “I don’t want to die alone,” he said, his voice steady despite his racing heart.
“Then why don’t you date more?”
Beckett slumped forward, his head resting on the steering wheel. He couldn’t look Evan in the eye with his confession, didn’t want to see the look of hurt and anger mare his affable face. “I’m in love with someone, and it hasn’t worked out.”
“Oh,” Evan said on a sigh. “Damn, Foxy, I’m sorry. Is it anyone I know?”
Just rip off the Band-Aid, Beckett!
Squeezing his eyes shut, Beckett savored the last moment of having Evan on his side, the last moment of being Foxy to his Lawless. “Yeah, you know her.”
“Who is it?” Evan leaned forward, and Beckett regretted spilling the beans in close quarters. All Evan had to do was reach out and he’d have Beckett in a head lock before he could blink.
“It’s Mallory.”
For a moment, Beckett didn’t think he’d said her name. The silence was overwhelming, threatening to choke him to death. Unable to bear it, he slowly turned his head until he could see Evan. His mouth was moving like he was speaking, but no words came.
“Can you please say something?” Beckett begged, hating the reaction and not knowing what it meant.
Evan licked his lips, his gaze still not reaching the other side of the car. “Mallory.” He said her name like it was a foreign word on this tongue. “Mallory.”
“Yes, it’s Mal.”
The use of her nickname woke Evan up, and he reached out and flicked Beckett square in the forehead. “You’re into my sister?”
“Well, yeah. But it’s more than that.”
Evan was incredulous. “More than that? What, is it because she helped after your accident? Dude, it’ll pass.”
“No, you’re not hearing me. It’s been years, this isn’t a new infatuation.”
His blue eyes turned to gray storm clouds at this. “Years? You’ve kept this secret from me for years?”
Beckett wanted the ground to open up and eat him whole. The look of disappointment, of devastation, was almost too much. “Yes, and I’ve hated lying about it.”
Evan fumbled for the door knob, bursting through the door and tripping on the curb. He corrected in the nick of time and whirled around, stomping toward Beckett. “You’ve been into my sister and lied to me for years?”
In record time, Evan rounded the car and had Beckett by the shoulders, shaking him like he wanted him to crumble apart. Little did he know it was already happening; little pieces of Beckett chipped away at the devastation in Evan’s gaze. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” Beckett said lamely, loathing that his explanation fell flat.
“I can’t believe you.” Evan shoved Beckett against the car and paced back and forth, his hands flexing at his side.
Beckett took his glasses off, folded them and placed them in his shirt pocket. He knew what was coming and really didn’t want to get new glasses. Closing his eyes, he waited for the punch. It didn’t take long.
Evan clocked him with a right hook to the face. The wind was out of Beckett before he hit the ground. Wheezing, he stayed on all-fours until he filled his lungs with air. “Get up,” Evan barked, looking like a feral stranger instead of his childhood best friend.
Footsteps grew loud around them, and CeCe appeared. “What the hell is going on?” she asked, a look of horror on her face. “Beckett, oh my God.” She rushed over to help him on his feet before turning to Evan. “Care to fill me in on this caveman routine?”
