Page 14 of Forever to Fall
It could have been wishful thinking, but Mallory thought he looked hopeful. No, it was probably a trick of the light. She opened her mouth to respond, but Evan knocked again. “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” She sighed as she side-stepped Beckett and flung the door open. “Christ, Ev.”
Evan’s blue eyes bugged out at the sight of his sister. “Mal? What are you doing here?”
“Dropping off tools,” she said over her shoulder. Without another glance, she strode to her car and slid behind the wheel. She wasn’t certain, but she thought she heard Beckett calling her name.
Mallory drove home in silence, the concept of the radio or a podcast too much company for her muddled brain. She’d survived seeing Beckett twice in one day. She’d done a nice thing by helping him with the tools, and now she didn’t have a reason to see him again. Well, except for her brother’s wedding. But thinking about the wedding brought on a fresh surge of frustration over the ring.
As she stepped into her tiny apartment and greeted her cat, Fernando, Mallory made herself a promise. She wouldn’t get swept up with Beckett again. Fawning over the man for over fifteen years was long enough. She was done waiting for a miracle, done waiting for the man to realize what was standing in front of him. No, Mallory would find a new man. She’d made it this long without Beckett, and she knew she could keep going.
*
“So Mal brought overthe tools?” Evan asked as he flopped onto the couch. He sniffed the air and grinned. “Is that dinner I smell?”
Beckett chuckled, endlessly charmed by his friend’s bottomless appetite. He answered his question with another. “Aren’t you engaged to a chef?”
Evan winked. “Not yet, but soon. Besides, CeCe has girls’ night with Natalie and Ginny. I thought I’d come over here and make sure you’re not bored.” He nestled back into the couch and asked again, “So is there any dinner?”
“You missed dinner, but I can offer dessert.” Beckett found a box of Oreos and tossed them to Evan. With lightning-fast reflexes, his friend caught the cookies in one deft motion.
“Did Mal bring you dinner?” Evan asked, his expression still playful.
“Nah, just tools. She caught me midway through cooking, so I invited her to join me.” And he was damned glad he did, and even happier that she accepted the invitation. Beckett pulled another pair of beers from the fridge before joining his friend. He studied Evan for any sign of discomfort, any indication that he could read his mind and see his feelings for Mallory. Yet all Beckett saw in Evan’s eyes was his signature carefree smile. The man was clueless, and that was probably for the best.
After eating half a sleeve of Oreos, Evan dusted crumbs from his hands and flung over the tool box. “What can I help with?”
“Not too much, actually. There’s a new end table I bought from IKEA, and I know I’ll need more than that goofy wrench thingy they toss in the box.” In truth, Beckett had everything he needed in the farm house, but he wasn’t ready to go back yet. Frankly, he didn’t know when he’d be ready.
That was his safe space, a place filled with memories of the people who loved him. Yes, his grandparents were chief among them, but he couldn’t forget about his time with the Lawsons. He and Evan got into so much mischief back then, from setting off fireworks in the middle of February from the hen house roof to hiding mud pies all over the property for Mallory or Gram to step in.
He and Mallory had their own memories too, mainly their wedding day and first kiss. Beckett revisited that afternoon more often than he would admit, and he was curious if Mallory did as well. Her question before Evan interrupted played on a loop in his brain. Did she remember eating French bread pizza with him that day? Did she think of it as frequently as he did?
“Why didn’t you just bring more furniture from the farm house?” Evan’s question brought Beckett back to the moment, and he shrugged. Truthfully, it was a loaded question with too many emotions to unpack. Much like his current apartment, certain things were meant to be boxed up and tossed away in a dark corner. That house deserved to be filled with love and smiling faces, not a grumpy loner who didn’t know how to move forward with his life.
Picking up on his buddy’s mood, Evan nudged his knee as he stood. “I’m grabbing a couple of wrenches, and you’re going to tell me why you look like you drank battery acid.”
“I do not,” Beckett replied weakly, a smile tugging at his lips. All it took was five minutes in Evan’s company for his mood to shift.
Evan carefully took the planks and screws out of the box, lining everything up in size order. “This reminds me of when we’d build model airplanes and cars with Gramps,” Evan said, keeping his blue gaze focused on the instructions sheet.
Beckett loved this about his friend, that he could bring up happy memories during a painful time and not have them sting. As boys, they would create, and sometimes destroy, all sorts of toys, buildings, and vehicles. For a time, Beckett assumed they’d get into some type of mechanics business, but when they went to college, things shifted. Evan found a love for computers and tech, while Beckett gravitated toward economics and numbers. He was grateful for his job in finance, especially since it was remote and allowed him extra time to help with Gramps. The work-from-home lifestyle also afforded him the luxury of hitting the road after he passed, since Beckett couldn’t handle the Buckeye state another moment. Needing an escape from reality, and a certain brunette, he’d taken some time to travel the country. As long as he had an internet connection, he could pay the bills. Yet things were different now. He didn’t want to be away from home, from the people who mattered.
“Remember that time we built a house for Mal’s Barbies?” Evan chuckled at the memory, already knowing where Beckett was going with this.
“Yeah, she loved that house.”
“Until the stink bombs went off,” Evan cackled his reply. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on her face when she pelted me with her dolls.”
“Smelling like rotten eggs was far from anyone’s dream house.” Beckett agreed, reveling in the memory of Mallory and her spitfire reaction. When they were young, he had adored getting a rise out of her. Then as they got older, right around a certain faux wedding ceremony, Beckett started to pay more attention to her reactions. That was when he decided he wanted to be the reason she smiled, not the reason she frowned—or threw dolls.
For a few minutes, the two worked in tandem to get the end table together. Just as Evan screwed in the last table leg, he sighed. “I wish I could figure out Mal’s dream now.” The admission caused Beckett to drop the last two nails, which toppled across the floor in opposite directions.
Using it as an excuse to avoid eye contact, Beckett scurried after the rogue pieces. “What’s wrong with Mallory?” He hoped his voice was lighter than it felt, because nausea crept up his throat at the thought that she was troubled.
Evan adjusted the leg and took one of the screws from Beckett’s outstretched hand. “Dunno, but something is definitely up.”
Beckett didn’t know a lot about Mallory’s life over the last couple of years, and it was entirely his fault. He wasn’t on social media, so he had no idea if she was sharing her life with the world. But he felt like she wouldn’t, it didn’t seem like Mallory. For all her love of celebrity gossip and tabloid magazines, she was a fairly private person.
After clearing his throat, Beckett asked the one question he needed an answer for. “Do you think it’s boyfriend trouble?” Beckett couldn’t be certain, but he felt his heart stop beating while Evan answered his question.
