Page 13 of Forever to Fall
“God, this is awkward,” Beckett muttered before draining his beer and jumping to his feet. “Let’s try this again.”
“Huh?” Mallory scurried to her feet as Beckett threw the door open. “What are you doing?”
Gently taking her elbow, he steered her outside and shut the door in her face. She stood slack-jawed until the door flew open again, Beckett standing there grinning from ear to ear. “Wow, Mallory. What a pleasant surprise. Won’t you come in?”
Mallory stood frozen in place, her feet feeling as heavy as a pair of cement boots. She raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt him.
“I’ve got dinner in the oven, and I’d love for you to join me.”
This was a game they used to play as kids. If one of them, Evan included, did something stupid or silly, the others would start over again and pretend it didn’t happen. Clearly Beckett was repeating history, and she wouldn’t fight the pull to step back inside. “Why thank you, Beckett. That would be delightful.”
He theatrically waved his arm in the direction of the couch once she crossed the threshold. “Have a seat, I’ll bring over dinner.”
A minute later, Mallory was presented with the most delicious-looking meal she’d had in ages. “Is this...” Her throat closed as she attempted to form the words. She hadn’t eaten French bread pizza in far too long, mostly because it reminded her of the man sitting next to her.
Using his wrist, Beckett shoved his glasses back in place as he eased onto the cushion beside her. “French bread pizza? Yeah, please don’t judge that at twenty-seven-years-old I’m barely able to cook without bread and cheese.”
“No judgments here.” She breathed, staring down at the piece of pizza like it held the answers to her broken heart. She was dying to know if he ever thought about that day. If he ever wondered if the vows they spoke as tweens held any merit now. It was a fool’s errand, so instead, she took a bite and shot him a thumbs-up. “This is perfect.” Her cheeks were full of food, and she must have resembled a chipmunk before winter.
Beckett beamed, diving into his own meal with enthusiasm. “Thanks, and thanks for coming over. I’ll admit, it’s been a little lonely since I came back.” That should not have made her relax, but it did. No one should be lonely, but lonely meant there weren’t other women visiting his new apartment.
Mallory had a lot of gaps when it came to Beckett’s life. Whether he sensed the topic caused her stress or not, Evan was light on the details beyond the passing of Beckett’s grandfather. “I’m so sorry to hear about Gramps.” The words sounded lame to her own ears, but she didn’t know what else to say.
He offered her a sad smile before taking another bite. She watched the muscles of his throat intently as he chewed. She was familiar with every angle on this man, from the slope of his nose to the curve of his neck. Once he’d fallen asleep in her college dorm room on a visit, and she took a pen and connected the freckles on his forearm. The shapes created looked like anime cartoons, and they’d laughed for hours at her handiwork.
Despite looking like Beckett, he still didn’t feel likeherBeckett. The dark smudges under his eyes spoke to sleepless nights, the paleness of his skin proved he wasn’t out in the orchards helping with the harvest, and the curling hair at the nape of his neck meant he wasn’t getting regular haircuts. Although perhaps this was just Beckett in his late twenties? It could be as simple as they were strangers.Maybe he would never be her Beckett again...
“Thanks. I won’t lie.” His expression was pinched as he squeezed his eyes closed, lost in memory. “It sucks that he’s gone, but I’m relieved he’s not in pain anymore.”
Wiping her hands on her napkin, she frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t know. I would have come over to visit if I had, it’s just—” She didn’t know how to answer that question.It’s just that your careless words broke my heart, and I pretended you didn’t exist. I chose self-preservation over your needs.
“You have your own life, Mal. I don’t fault you for that.” He toyed with the burnt edge of his pizza, flaking away crumbs with this thumb.
Mallory shook her head so forcefully, her bun bobbed against her neck in frustration. “No, that’s not an excuse. Your grandparents were always so good to Ev and me. I’m sorry we lost touch.” They were like family, was what she wanted to say. Yet the words wouldn’t come, because she couldn’t admit they were gone...couldn’t admit she’d lost another part of her past.
“I’m sorry we lost touch too, but not just because of Gramps.”
She would have been less shocked if Beckett jumped onto the couch and did a jig a la Tom Cruise onOprah.
Averting her gaze, she studied her plate and picked off a piece of pepperoni. She shoved it in her mouth and tried to focus on the spicy morsel and not Beckett staring a hole through her skull. “Stuff happens.”
“No, I happened,” Beckett said, placing his empty plate on the coffee table next to the tool box. “Look, I’ve been meaning to—” His words were cut short when there was a loud knock at the door.
“Yo! Foxy!” Evan’s voice boomed through the closed door.
Mallory leapt to her feet, collecting their dishes and carrying them to the sink with the speed of Superman on a mission. “I’ll head out,” she said, her eyes focused on the task of cleaning up. If she kept distracted with something as mundane as loading the dishwasher, she wouldn’t scream at her brother for interrupting the moment. For interrupting the explanation she’d been waiting ages for.
“You don’t have to.” Beckett urged, not answering the door despite Evan’s persistent knocking. “Please, stay. I’m sure Evan is just making sure I’m not bored.”
Mallory’s shoulders slumped, and she tried to keep the emotion from her voice. “You two have a lot to catch up on. The wedding and everything. I’ll just be a third wheel.”
The statement rang false, and they both knew it. Never had Mallory been the third wheel, not even close. Their little trio always made sense—until it didn’t.
“Thanks for the pizza.” She gestured to the empty sheet tray and smiled. “It reminded me of—” She stopped herself before she could show her hand. Beckett Fox made it abundantly clear he wasn’t interested in her, so she wouldn’t make a fool of herself any longer. She’d learned her lesson, or at least she was trying to.
“Foooxxxyyyy!” Evan’s voice echoed around them. “Are you alive?”
Mallory hiked her purse strap up her shoulder and tried to step past Beckett. He stopped her progression with a gentle hand to the shoulder. Her skin burned where his fingers carefully held her in place. “It reminded you of what?”
