Page 86 of Fierce-Matt
But that was before they had sex.
Before her heart was pounding harder at the thought, let alone the mention of Matt’s name.
She didn’t want to plan into the future because it’d hurt too much if it didn’t fall the way she wanted it to.
Like so many years ago when she’d dreamed Matt would look at her as someone other than Phoebe’s best friend.
“I’m happy for you,” her mother said. “You deserve it.”
“I never thought I did before, but I do now. He’s good for me. He gets me to see parts of myself that no one else has before.”
“Like what?” her mother asked.
“You know I’ve struggled with my career choices. I’ve been on the fence about continuing in real estate. I don’t have it in me for the swords and daggers.”
“Not everyone in that field is like that,” Amber said.
“Matt pointed that out. If I can be me and get a sale a month or so, I’ll be fine. I’d like to be more than fine, but right now, you need help and this is giving me the freedom in my schedule. Those few shifts at Fierce are really helping. If I can make this work just being myself and not trying to be someone I’m not, I’ll be happy.”
She was giving up comparing herself and trying to be someone she wasn’t.
“Then let it ride,” her mother said. “I’m sorry I need your help.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “Never. We are a family and they stick together.”
“Not everyone feels that way.”
“Don’t crack rotten eggs on my happy day with thoughts of EJ.”
“I’m sorry,” her mother said, forcing a smile. “I feel like such a failure when it comes to my oldest. What or where did I go wrong?”
It never crossed her mind her mother would feel that way.
“Nowhere,” she said fiercely. “This is on him for thinking the world owed him everything. I think there’s something wrong with him. Or maybe it’s just that some people are selfish.”
“I know. He’s always been so hard to handle. I wish we’d sought specialists, but he always had good grades and played sports. He never had a lot of friends. It worried me, but I suspected it was because of his behavior.”
“That’s on him. He made life messy for all of us. It’s better he’s across the world. For everyone.”
“It is,” her mother said. “Which makes me feel guilty. I’m his mother. A parent shouldn’t feel that way.”
“Mom. You’ve got me. You don’t need him. You’ve given him more chances than he deserves and the stress of him close by isn’t needed.”
It no longer ticked her off EJ left her alone to deal with her parents. It was for the best.
It was actually easier sometimes.
Quieter for sure.
“I have,” Amber said.
“Worry about you and Dad. Not EJ. I’ll handle him if I need to.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” her mother said, shaking her head.
“Have you talked to him since that last call we had?”
Her mother looked sad. “I sent him a few texts and an email and he hasn’t replied.”
