They hit her square in the face but didn’t stop her amusement.
“Get dressed,” he said. “Then I can exert my manliness and provide food for my woman.”
She pulled her shirt over her head and then stood to put her shorts on.
“Am I your woman?”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and yanked her to his side.
“You are. Got a problem with it?”
“Nope. Not with that or your fancy tushy.”
She slapped his ass and he wondered which one of them was more of the joker.
“You know, if the roles were reversed, would you be mad if I was busting on you about this?”
Her smile dropped. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to insult you.”
“You’re not. I was asking a question.”
“Then no, I wouldn’t be. If it’s something that I’d use regardless, I wouldn’t care. You’re not alone, I’m sure.”
“I’m not,” he said primly. “During the great toilet paper shortage, I wasn’t sweating it like other people were.”
Her head went back as she howled in delight. “Oh my God, Matt. That’s hilarious.”
“Have you ever tried one before?”
“No,” she said. “I’ll stop laughing. I promise. I’ve seen a few in houses I’ve shown. It’s not unheard of.”
“I know it’s not,” he said. “I’m telling you, they are great.”
“Okay. I’ll stop laughing and try it.”
“Now,” he said.
“What?”
“I want you to try it now. I mean it. It’s not just for the tush.” He pointed his finger at her. “Don’t laugh. I could say ass, but you know, the brand is tushy, so it goes.”
“Yep, it’s for going.”
He rolled his eyes. “Talk about taking this too far.”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bathroom.
“You want me to drop my shorts and sit on it with you here? Not happening. I don’t pee in front of people.”
“No,” he said. That might be a little too personal for them. For anyone. He knew many people who did it and he wasn’t at that step. Some things should be done behind a closed door. “I’m going to show you how it works.”
He set everything on low and the button to push, then left the bathroom and shut the door.
There was a shriek and then laughter. “That’s cold,” she screamed through the closed door.
He heard her laughing some more and then it stopped and she came out.
“Well?”