Page 67 of Fierce-Matt
“I’m sure there are. We already know my history of pranks and joking around.”
“And pushing it too far,” she said. “But you’re a changed man. I’ve seen it and I want you to know that. I see the effort you’re putting in with me. I want to make sure you’re not doing it for me though. Or only me.”
He sighed and moved next to her, threaded their fingers together, and tugged her to his couch. “I’m doing it for you but for me at the same time. I learned my lesson and burned myself. Looking back, I tell myself those women wouldn’t have gotten this side of me because I only viewed them as fun.”
“Yikes,” she said. “No one wants to be thought of that way.”
“True,” he said. “No one wants to be thought of as a stepping stone to a better life either.”
She pursed her lips. “I’ve never had that problem, but I can see where it’s highly insulting.”
“I like to believe my past partners got what they put into it. We both got what we deserved. Right or wrong, it’s what it was.”
She put it on his shoulders. “It’s a good way to think about it. My past relationships weren’t good or fun. I had no backbone and got walked all over. Was told I was silly or stupid and if I got upset, they said I made too much of it. I never felt I was good enough for most of them.”
She had to add the last part.
Not every guy she dated made her feel like crap. Some didn’t have jobs or weren’t serious either, but they were nice enough.
His hand released her fingers and cupped her cheek. “You’re good enough for me. Better than me at times. I like the new you. I hate what you felt like or went through, but enjoy spending time with someone who tells it like it is.”
“Sure?”
“Positive. Few have put me in my place in the past.”
“Because they were too afraid to tip the boat over and get wet, all your money and your name drowning with them?”
He forced out a laugh. “Yep. Everyone has to be put in their place in life. Some more than others.”
“What do we have?” she asked. “Not to put pressure on us, but we should have this talk.”
“We have friendship,” he said. “Companionship. Fun together. There’s attraction, desire. Arousal. Laughter. I can put a lot of words on it.”
“Exclusive?” she asked.
“It goes without saying. I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear about that.”
“I assumed it, but I’ve learned that in the past too. If you don’t say it, you sure the heck can’t assume it.”
“You’ve been cheated on?”
“Cheated on. Money borrowed and never paid back. I had one guy I was falling for stupidly say if I really loved him, I’d lethim put a lit match on my arm. That we could have matching burn marks to show our love to each other.”
Matt reared back, the horrified look on his face said it all. “Did you do it?”
“No. He was the last relationship I had over a year ago. He borrowed close to two thousand dollars from me total and hadn’t paid it back. When he brought up the matching burn scars, I was done. I walked out of his apartment, never so thankful that we didn’t live together, and told him not to contact me again. He still owes me the money and I don’t care. I consider it payment for being an idiot.”
“Jesus, Anya. I’m sorry. That had to be horrible.”
“It was, but I grew from it. I told myself I deserved better and I would not date anyone else until I felt as if I was worthy of them and vice versa.”
Her confession produced the grin she was hoping for. “Oh, you’re worthy of me. Am I of you?”
She’d been holding her beer glass like a prop and set it down on the end table, then turned and straddled his lap.
“You’re very worthy of me. So worthy that I’ve been thinking of this moment for weeks.”
“Weeks?” he asked, his hand wrapping in her hair and pulling her close to his lips. Just a whisper away. “It’s taken you a long time to move on it.”
