Page 76 of Copper Script
“Yes.It’s what I do.”
“Off a letter to my mother.”
“Yes, it—” Joel stopped short.“Uh.That wasyourhand?”
“That’s right.”
Joel opened his mouth, moved it soundlessly, then said, “Excuse me,” grabbed the glass of beer, and took a hefty gulp.The laugh exploded around him, and he was relieved to see Darby looked as amused as anyone.
He hoped to God he’d judged that right.It had been a reasonable punt that Darby had produced his own writing: for one, he probably wasn’t surrounded by literates, and for another, it was an aggressively pigheaded thing to do, and aggressive pigheadedness had been clear on the page.Joel had carefully skipped the other observations that came to mind, such asviciousandself-centred as a spinning top, in favour of what he knew about Darby Sabini from Clerkenwell gossip.
Broadening of the vowels indeed.Aaron would laugh, assuming Joel lived through this to tell him about it.
“A good friend and a bad enemy,” Darby mused.“Well, I’d like to think it.What do we reckon to this, boys?”
There was a chorus of mostly approbation from the watchers, but one man said, “So what’s the trick?How’d you know all that?”
“I don’tknowanything,” Joel said.“Certainly not about Mr.Sabini.But the way a man writes tells you a lot, or it does me.I bet you can judge a man pretty well?”he appealed to Darby.“You look at his eyes, the way he holds himself, the way he talks back, and you know what you think, yes?”He waited for the nod he knew would be forthcoming; people rarely said,No, I’m a terrible judge of character.“Well, I do it off handwriting, not faces.That’s all.”
“Useful,” Darby said.“Sounds like something the coppers would like.”
“Oh, it wouldn’t stand up in court.I’ve been assured of that.”
“Have you, now.Let’s talk about that.All right, you lot, clear off.”
The hangers-on vanished, leaving them alone, although Joel didn’t feel any less threatened for it.“So,” Darby said.“Eddie Twigg told you what I want.”
“He said you wanted to talk to me about Detective Sergeant Fowler.May I ask why?”
“No.So I hear you and Mr.Fowler are pretty close, he takes you out to dinner, that sort of thing.Tell me about that.And I know what you did time for, Mr.Joel Wildsmith, so don’t mess me about.”
“Sorry, what?”Joel said blankly.“Are you implying— Oh, come on.He’s apoliceman.”
Darby Sabini’s jaw hardened.“I know that.Now you tell me all about you and him.”
There was sweat sliding down Joel’s backbone; he had no idea how an empty saloon bar without a fire could be at once so cold and so stuffy.“Mr.Sabini, I’m sorry, but if you’re after dirt on Fowler, you’ll need to ask whoever he’s doing the dirty with, because it’s not me.I’m not tupping a copper!I’m not stupid and I’m not going back inside if I can help it, so—”
Darby slammed a hand on the table.Joel’s terrified yelp as he recoiled was entirely unfeigned.“Are you lying to me, you little pansy?”
“No!”Joel said, his pitch rising.“Who’s been saying this?Why’s anyone talking to you about me?”
“Nobody cares about you,” Darby said, with chilling unconcern.“I’m asking about Fowler.”
“I’ve no idea who he’s screwing!It’s not me, that’s all I know!”
“And when he took you out for a nice Indian meal—what about that?”
“That?Oh my God, isthatwhat this is about?”Joel pantomimed relief with a hand on his chest.“For goodness sake.That wasn’t a candlelight meal for two, Mr.Sabini, it was work.He reckons he can get me to solve his cases.”
Darby’s eyes were cold pools you could drown in.“Are you taking the piss?”
“That’s what I said to him!I said, I’m not magic!The only way I can tell you if someone’s committed a crime from looking at their handwriting is if they wrote a full confession!”Darby grunted at that, which was a relief.Joel did not want him worrying about his powers later on.“But he wouldn’t listen.He wants to get ahead, and he reckons I’m a secret weapon.You know how people want to believe things and you can’t tell them anything else?Well, he’s decided I’m about four times as good as I am.He offered me a retainer if I agree not to consult for any other police clients.”
Darby leaned back.“You got many of those?”
“None at all,” Joel said.“So I told him I had several and he’d need to double the offer.”
“Hah!”Darby gave a proper laugh this time.“And?”
