Page 69 of Copper Script
“Unfortunate?”Joel yelped.“Unfortunate?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I bloody don’t!Or, yes, I do but that is not the fucking word!How are you so calm about this?You’re talking about a sodding murderer trying to use me to ruin you!And that’s shitty for you, but if your cousin sues me for slander, or the papers make a field day of Corrupt Policeman Pays Fraud Graphologist, or we get done for gross indecency, or Darby Sabini decides I’m annoying, I amfucked!This isn’t fair!”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t!”Joel shouted.“No, you don’t know that because this is happening tome!You aren’t the one who’s had thugs turn up and take your money, and if you get attacked you’ve got two hands to fight with, so you donotknow!All I did was a fucking reading!It was your idea to pick on me because of your shitty cousin, it was your idea to shove a lot of shitty people’s handwriting into my face, and now I’ve got gangs and the Met using me as a football, and I’ve already been to prison once!Stop ruining my life!”
Joel’s voice was rising and choked with tears and his distress was unbearable because it was, indeed, all Aaron’s fault.He reached out without meaning it, driven by nothing but the urgent need to offer comfort, and Joel flung himself into his arms.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
WELL, THIS WAS EMBARRASSING.
Joel had a tendency to be overwhelmed by his feelings.He knew it, hated it, and resented that he never seemed to get better at noticing he was doing it in the moment.He overreacted, and said stupid things, or humiliated himself with tears, and then had to pick up the pieces.He’d spoiled more than one promising love affair in the past with an explosion of feelings he could have kept to himself.
And he’d just exploded on Aaron, who was probably in at least as much trouble as himself, and instead of telling him to shut up or calm down, Aaron had opened his arms and somehow Joel was now wrapped in a strong embrace, his wet face pressed against a damp but sturdy shoulder, with Aaron whispering meaningless reassurances into his hair.
He tried to pull away, albeit not very hard.Aaron just tightened his arms.“It’s all right, Joel.It’s all right.”
Joel appeared to be clinging on to him.Could he make more of a fool of himself here?“Sorry,” he mumbled into the cloth of Aaron’s jacket.
“You’ve every right to be angry.It is my fault.”
“It’s Colthorne’s fault.I’m only shouting at you because you’re here and I’m scared.”
Aaron’s hand slid up to the back of his head, into his hair.Joel wondered if he was even aware he was doing it.“If it’s not my fault, it’s my responsibility.I’m so sorry.I didn’t want, I never wanted to hurt you.”
Joel squirmed so he could look up into Aaron’s face.Those dark eyes were devastating at close range, with the warm depths of a cup of coffee, and just as liable to keep him up at night.“You didn’t.It’s not your fault.I wish it wasn’t like this.”
“So do I,” Aaron said, a whisper of a voice.
“If it wasn’t.”God, he oughtn’t say this.“If it wasn’t like it is—”
“If it wasn’t, I’d ask you to stay,” Aaron said, in a voice that sounded to be dragged out of him.“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.I couldn’t stop thinking about you before it.”
