Page 42 of A Scot for Bethan
“Did he?—”
“No. Murdo stopped him, and there was no reason to think he would want to?—”
This time Cameron shot to his feet. Had he heard that right? Murdo had known about the assault, and he’d not told him anything? What the hell was going on here? Didn’t he think his laird had the right to know something like that? “I’ll kill him for keeping such a thing secret from me!”
“You will no such thing!” Bethan protested, standing up in turn. “If you are going to take issue with anyone, it will have to be me. I asked him to keep silent; he did nothing wrong.”
“Is that supposed to appease me?” he roared. “I am his laird, he should have told me, regardless of what you made him swear. If I’d known what had happened, that bastard McDonald would not have been able to sneak inside the castle that night, this much I can tell you. Had I been warned, I would have put a man outside your door to keep guard, I would have told everyone to— Fuck, Bethan! I would not have had you assaulted a second time for the world!”
He tore at his hair. Couldn’t she see how much of a blow this was for him? She was under his care, how was he supposed to ensure her safety if he wasn’t told what the situation was?
“I was not assaulted a second time,” Bethan said soothingly. Maybe she had seen how affected he was, and no wonder. He was fuming. “He only grabbed my ankle that night. And like the first time, he was stopped before anything could happen. You protected me. There’s no harm done.”
No harm done… That was where they disagreed. Pity the bastard was now dead. Cameron would have liked nothing better than to kill him a second time for what he’d done.
Bethan placed a tentative hand on his arm. He took a step back. He could not bear her touch, not now. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to shake her for keeping such a secret from him or tumble her to the ground to kiss her senseless. Neither would be wise.
“Any more secrets you’re keeping from me?” he asked bitterly. He’d thought after an unpromising start, that they had come to trust one another. Why had she wanted to keep such a thing from him? “Like why you do not seem to want to touch me anymore?”
She reddened. “I… To tell you the truth I thoughtyoudidn’t wantme. You haven’t tried to kiss me or anything for days.”
No, he had not, because he was no fool and neither was he a lecher like McDonald, who was not above ignoring a woman’s wishes to get his way. He could sense she would resist this time if he drew her into his arms, so he had kept his hands to himself. But after the revelation she had just made, he was wondering if she was not hiding something else from him. Something terrible. And he didn’t like it one little bit.
He stuffed the bread back in the bag, his appetite having quite deserted him.
“Let’s ride.”
The day was spent in a somewhat tense atmosphere, and Cameron knew it was not due to the mist which continued to follow them.
“You still haven’t told me what you were doing that night at the tavern,” he told her that evening, once they had sat down next to a roaring fire.
Bethan had evaded the question once and he had allowed her to, but he needed an answer now. After all they had gone through together, and their night of passion, they were no longer strangers. And after this morning’s revelation he needed to see she trusted him with her secrets.
Besides, there was no reason for her to be shy. He suspected her visit had something to do with a man, and since he now knew about her lovers, there was no need to keep silent.
After a brief hesitation she answered.
“I had gone to see Mistress Elen. Working with…well, with women who sell their bodies, she knows all there is to know about preventing conception.”
He nodded. He’d already guessed she would take precautions, as the last thing she would have wanted was going to the altar with a swollen stomach. It was one thing pretending to still be untouched, quite another to explain away a child.
A child…
Cameron stiffened when a thought struck him. Had she used the woman’s skill to rid herself of an unwanted baby? It was very possible. A woman taking lovers as she did could all too easily have fallen with child, perhaps even more than once.
“Did Mistress Elen ever help you get rid of an unborn babe?”
“No!” Bethan looked so horrified that he instantly knew she was telling the truth. He took in a deep breath, reassured. “I swear I never conceived, thanks to the draughts she gave me every full moon. That evening, I had gone to tell her I was leaving for Scotland.”
And wouldn’t require her services anymore.
His heart leaped to his throat as another, shocking thought exploded in his mind.
The solar, her bedchamber… He had not taken any precautions while bedding her because he’d been convinced that a woman of her experience would know how to guard herself against unwanted consequences. And he’d been right, she had. Except that, unlike her other lovers, he had bedded her at a time when she had imagined she would be married—in other words, when she did not need to worry about falling with child.
Honesty compelled him to add that he would probably not have tried to withdraw even if he’d not thought it safe. Their lovemaking had been too passionate, too intense, he’d been too lost to his desire to think about anything other than his need for her. But it could now have devastating consequences.
The fool! Had he given her more than just pleasure that day?
