Page 69 of The Second Chance Cinema
“You’re right.” Ellie nodded. “I don’t fit in with your wonderful family and all of their unnecessary second holiday celebrations. But you know who does? Melinda. I bet they wish that ring was on her finger.”
“Come … Oh, come on,” Drake said. “That’s so far from the truth. The truth is so far away from you right now. It’s out inBoise.” He pointed in the general direction of Boise behind him. Suddenly, the wall clock chimed to announce a new hour. Drake jumped. Ellie let out a shriek.
“Holy shit,” he said.
“God dammit.”
“That thing really got me.” Drake felt himself start to calm as they shook off their nerves. “Look,” he told her. “Let’s slow down. I love who you are now, Ellie.”
“Right.” Ellie nodded. “And what if I miss who I was then?” She started to shake. Something was wrong. Tears wet her mascara. “I mean, I used to go out andlive. I would listen to records on strangers’ beds, meet weirdos at house parties, people you should never meet in real life. I once met a man named Gilligan. Gilligan. And he’d never heard of the show. You can’t make this up. And I think those are the kinds of moments that made me write well. That made me myself. Only now, they’re drying up.”
“Because of me,” Drake pieced together. “That’s what you’re saying. Right?”
Headlights flooded the windows and car doors slammed outside. There were smiling voices. Laughing voices. They paused and waited to continue.
“That’s not what I said,” Ellie insisted.
“It is, though,” Drake told her. “Everything has to be sointerestingwith you. You can’t sit still and be comfortable. You can’t buy a new rug or a new sweater or make anything easy on yourself because easy isboring, and God forbid anything be boring, even for a second. It’s reckless, Ellie. Truly.”
“Well then,” Ellie said, “what do you love so much about me, Drake?”
“Oh, come on. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.”
“No. I really don’t.”
“Okay. Well, I love that you’re passionate and artistic, and we have so much fun together, and you appreciate old things—”
“Huh. That sounds familiar.” Her face turned red. “ ‘I’ll love you forever,’ ” she recited. “I’ll love you forever?” Ellie stood and pushed the door to the living room open. Drake followed behind her. The record he’d put on earlier was skipping as they circled the coffee table like animals in a chase. It was tough to tell who had the advantage. Finally, the skipping stopped, but the music sounded like it was playing underwater because it was on Dorothy III. Nancy had ducked behind the couch to hide.
“I said the same thing to you,” Drake told her. He stopped moving and held his hands up. “That I’d love you forever. And I meant it.”
“Right. Thanks for making that point for me.” Ellie stopped straight across from him. “You saidthe same things to both of us.You used the same ring, played me the same songs, took me to the same restaurants, watched the same movies, gave me the same sappy proposal. You love me because I remind you of her, Drake.” Ellie marched over to him. “You can’t even be original with who you love.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is, though. You have decades of memories. The cinema could play any of them. And the only thing it ever seems to play is you with Melinda. She is the storyline that haunts you the most. Ben, and the aftermath, is mine.”
Drake paused. He knew Ellie was right, in a way. Only, he didn’t still love Melinda. Why were those memories the only ones that came up? This realization had been bothering him for weeks. “I want nothing more than to marry you,” Drake told her. “Tell me you still want to marry me?” He made it sound like a question, but really, he was groveling again. Groveling for her to stay, to tell him this wasn’t going to end in another failed proposal. A part of Drake always imagined Ellie would leave. He was trying to stop her from proving him right, but it came out all wrong. “Tell me, Ellie. Say you want to marry me.”
Ellie ignored his plea. She turned to look up at the wooden wall shelves. Her hands passed the antique ship they had been gifted on the night of their engagement party, beyond the framed collection of matchbooks, and then she had a firm grip on something. Her fingers curled around the music box Drake hadn’t intended to give to her so long ago. She set it down on the coffee table so it couldn’t be ignored. “She’s always been in the room with us,” she said. “Right from the beginning. Hasn’t she?”
Every part of Ellie was pulling away from him. Her footsteps were loud against the stairs. Drake waited in the living room as her bag unzipped, followed by the sound of items making a crash landing inside of it. A few minutes later, she came out of their bedroom with her packed bag.
It wasn’t the duffel bag she used for overnights. It was a much bigger bag.
Halfway down the stairs, Drake begged her not to do the thing she always did. He wasn’t sure how to walk back from this.
“I’m going to Jen and Marc’s,” Ellie said. “I need space.”
Drake wanted her to stay so he could convince her that, yes, he had loved Melinda, but his love for Ellie was different. It was real. If she stayed, she would brush her hands through his hair. They would talk it out. They would wake up the next morning and have breakfast together. They’d break the spell they’d put on the now-cursed kitchen table, and also, the now-cursed coffee table. “I’m sorry,” Ellie would say. “I love you, Drake. Pass the milk?” Drake would pass the milk. He would hear her laugh again. Not the laugh that she laughed for other people, but the one that was just for him.
But that’s not what happened.
Drake followed Ellie outside to the driveway. The car beeped as it unlocked, and the ignition gave in to her demands. She lingered for a moment, probably to call Jen, and then he was alone.
31
Drake almost fell off the couch the next morning. The sound of the doorbell, and Nancy’s mission to destroy its ringer, had jolted him awake. Sleeping there had saved him from facing Ellie’s empty side of the bed, but it didn’t come without consequences. Pain flew down his back when he stood. He was too old to be sleeping on couches.
