Page 62 of Once Upon a Holidate
He didn’t meet her gaze. “It was. Harder on Raine, in some ways. We both knew we were on assignment and that our being married was just an act, but there were things we had to do and eventually it got real for her.” He looked at her. “She fell in love with me.”
The knot in her stomach tightened. “You didn’t share her feelings?”
He shook his head. “I knew it was a problem, but there was nothing I could do about it. Breaking up with her wasn’t an option, and neither of us wanted to end the assignment because her feelings had changed. We agreed to move forward and deal with it when we got back to the States.”
“She was hoping you would fall in love with her,” Wynn said.
“Yeah. That was the plan. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, but like I said, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Then we were ratted out and stuck in a cage.” He drew in a breath. “Some of the scars I have are from that time. Like I said, they enjoyed playing with knives. I could handle it, but when they went after Raine, I nearly lost it.”
Wynn knew he wouldn’t tell her any details, which was fine with her. She could make up her own, and they were awful enough without her knowing the truth.
“How did she die?”
“I didn’t say she was dead.”
“But she is.”
He nodded. “Yes.” Darkness filled his eyes. “We came up with an escape plan. It was risky, but we knew it was just a matter of time until we were killed. The cartel wanted ransom, but even if the DEA paid it, there was no guarantee we would be released.”
He leaned back his head and closed his eyes. “During theescape, someone came after us with a gun. Raine threw herself in front of me, taking the bullets. She died and I got away.”
Wynn couldn’t process all her feelings, and she hadn’t even been there. What must Garrick be going through?
Instinctively she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. He shifted, pulling her close and hanging on so tightly, she could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Me, too. Everything happened so fast. One second we were running and the next that guy was there.”
She felt the tension in his body. Even as she tried not to imagine the scene, she could see it clearly in her head. He didn’t say what had happened to the man who tried to stop them, and she didn’t ask. She didn’t have to—she already knew. Garrick would have killed him, then escaped.
“I carried her out,” he said quietly. “I wanted to get her body back to her family. It was the least I could do.”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask her to do it.”
“She loved me and I didn’t love her back. She died knowing that.”
“She died saving the man she loved. She would do it again.”
“You don’t know that.”
She drew back enough to stare into his eyes. “Yes, I do. I’ve been in love. I know what it feels like. A woman in love will do almost anything for her man.”
Wynn had. She’d made incredibly stupid decisions in the name of love and had lived with the consequences. Fourteen years later, she was only just beginning to forgive herself.
“I didn’t put it in the report,” Garrick said. “Or mention it in the debrief. I figured no one had to know how she felt. It wasn’t their business.”
“You were right to do that.”
He loosened his hold on her but kept his arms around her. She felt him relax, as if in the telling, he was able to let the past go a little.
They sat in silence for a minute or so, then he said, “When I got home, I went to see Joylyn. I needed to see her and know that she was okay, but she refused to have anything to do with me. She was close to heading off to college. I was restless and didn’t know what to do next.”
“Did you go back to the Phoenix Police Department?”
“Sure, but my heart wasn’t in it. Then I got offered a job here.”
“So you moved back.”
