Page 58 of Once Upon a Holidate
Joylyn stared at him without speaking. Probably for the best, he thought, pacing the length of the kitchen, looking for something to throw through the window.
How could she? That bitch. Only the word wasn’t strong enough and he couldn’t think of one bad enough. How could she have done that?Whowould have done that to an impressionable kid?
He returned to the table and sank back in his chair, then stretched out his arms and took Joylyn’s hands in his.
“I love you,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice calm. “Joylyn, I have always loved you. Do you believe me?”
She hesitated before nodding.
“Good. Now look into my eyes so you can see I’m telling the truth. I did not dump Sandy. She left me because she hated everything about our life. She made that very clear. She was angry that I wouldn’t move to a different city or find another job. She wanted me to sell insurance or some such nonsense.”
“You’d be really bad at that.”
“I probably would. Salespeople have skills I don’t begin to understand. Anyway, I came home one day and she was moving out. She had a whole list of reasons.”
“Was I one of them?”
Now it was his turn to pause. He weighed the consequences of lying, only to realize he had to be completely honest. “Yes.”
“She never liked me.”
“I think the person she didn’t like was me, kid.”
One corner of Joylyn’s mouth turned up. “That might be true.”
He squeezed her hands. “I never wanted to stop seeing you. I didn’t look forward to you growing up and moving on. If it were up to me, I would have kept you nine forever.”
“Why nine?”
“It was a good age.”
She smiled. “Dad, I couldn’t be nine my whole life.”
“You didn’t even try.”
She laughed, then started to cry. She pulled her hands free and wiped her cheeks. “Sorry. I’m one blubbering emotion these days.”
“It’s okay. I want you to believe me. I’ll give you the phone number of some of my friends back in Phoenix. You can text them and get all this confirmed. I didn’t dump Sandy, and I would never abandon you.”
“I know.”
Some of the tension left his body. “You believe me?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“Was that really why you refused to see me? You were leaving me first?”
“It wasn’t a very formed plan. Part of it was that and part of it was me testing you, I think. I wanted you to push back. I wanted you to get mad and demand I see you.”
“I would have, only I was giving you space.” Completely the wrong thing to do, he thought grimly. “The whole time you assumed my actions proved what you already believed.”
She nodded.
“I wish you could have talked to me,” he said.
“Me, too. And I wish you would have told me more about the divorce.”
“I didn’t want you to worry.” He ran his hand through his hair. “We are terrible communicators.”
