Page 34 of A Miracle on Hope Street
To think that an invitation could make so much difference to someone is just mind- blowing and is exactly what I was hoping might happen as I too know what it feels like to be in a lonely, lost state where you are just going through the motions, when all you want is someone to properly notice you and show they really care. I can’t wait to meet Nicholas! I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really starting to look forward to Christmas now.
I smile and put an inch to my step when I put my phone back into my handbag. I can’t wait to tell Michael that we might have two guests confirmed already. I take a deep breath and push open the door of the café where I am greeted with the usual casual wave from behind a baseball cap and a puff of steam. I expected a little bit more enthusiasm, I must admit, but I don’t have the time to dwell on his reaction to my being here. I have too much going on in my mind to let it bother me right now.
Suzi takes my order – a cappuccino and a white chocolate scone that I simply can’t resist – and I check my phone again, refreshing my emails as I wait with such excitement for some more responses. Just then Suzi returns with a cup of goodness and a hot buttered scone, and I look up to see someone who I think might be Kelly, come into the café. I give her a wave and she responds with a nervous smile and a wave in return.
‘Kelly?’
‘Yes, I hoped you might guess it was me,’ she says timidly. ‘Hello Ruth. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m so nervous.’
I stand up and greet her but she stiffens up when I embrace her. To be perfectly honest the poor girl doesn’t seem just nervous, she looks petrified.
‘Please don’t be nervous, Kelly. It’s so good to see you in real life.’
Her hands are shaking.
‘I just dropped Elsie off at a playgroup and forced myself to come in to see if it was really you who sent me that very kind invitation during the night,’ she whispers. ‘Sorry, I’m shaking. I’m not normally such a nervous wreck.’
‘Have a seat,’ I say to her. ‘I’m sorry for sending it so late but I’m very . . . let’s say, enthusiastic . . . about having a very different Christmas this year. Can I get you a coffee? Or a hot chocolate? I really recommend the hot chocolate in here and one of these scones?’
She rubs her hands together, a small, blonde, thin-framed girl with a pale face almost covered with a blue woollen hat and a scarf to match.
‘No, no I’m fine,’ she says glancing around her.
‘On me?’ I suggest, and she smiles a little, so I gesture to Suzi who is busying around as usual. Suzi comes to us, takes the order and sets off to fetch Kelly a hot chocolate drink.
‘I’m so glad you popped by,’ I say to her, understanding how difficult this must be and delighted that she was brave enough to show her face. ‘How are you feeling now? You said in your email you’d been feeling low and not looking forward to Christmas at all.’
She looks away, out the window and I can see she is fighting back tears.
‘It’s so hard,’ she says to me, fidgeting with her hands. ‘I never thought we’d ever split up, never mind be fighting over Elsie. Not that there is a fight any more. Like everything in this situation, one of us had to give in and because I had her last year, he pushed to get his way this year and eventually I gave in but . . . but I just dread it so, so much, Ruth. How can I sit on Christmas Day on my own after having so many wonderful family Christmases before? I just hate the thought of it all. I hate it . . . ’
A tear falls onto her cheek and she quickly wipes it away, sniffling back her emotion.
‘It’s so, so cruel,’ I say to her, ‘and I don’t have a magic wand that can take your pain away, I wish I did. But like I said in my message, you don’t have to be alone at Christmas, Kelly. Please come and join us.’
‘You know, I wish someone could have warned me of how crippling it feels to sit alone, looking around a house that was once a home – happier times and memories all over the walls,’ she whispers to me. ‘When Elsie goes to her dad’s, it’s like my world is tipped upside down. It feels like I’m falling, Ruth. Is that even normal? I feel like I’m falling apart and now this Christmas . . .’
She gasps a little, then the pain in her face becomes too much and she puts her face in her hands.
‘Iwilljoin you for dinner. Thank you so much,’ she whispers from behind her fingers. ‘I just can’t believe this is real, but I so appreciate it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Ruth.’
When she takes her hands away, she looks so relieved, a tiny bit stronger and a smile curves on her lips. She has a beautiful smile.
‘You’re even nicer in real life than I could have imagined,’ she says to me, her eyes still wet from tears but just a little bit more hopeful. ‘Are you sure your family won’t mind? I’d hate to intrude on you. I can’t really believe you are doing this. Like, why would you want to have a stranger in your house on Christmas Day?’
I shake my head.
‘It’s not a family dinner, love,’ I explain to her.
‘No? Oh gosh, if it’s just you and your boyfriend there’s no way I’m playing gooseberry,’ she laughs.
‘I don’t have a boyfriend.’
We both laugh now and I shake my head, then take a deep breath as it’s now my turn to fight back emotion as I explain my plans for Christmas dinner. She looks totally bewildered, but in a good way, if that makes sense.
‘I’m not a bad cook, either. I promise I won’t poison you,’ I tell her.
She just stares at me now, like she’s lost for words, but her face is smoother, and she has some colour back in her cheeks.
