Page 74 of A Part of Me and You
I see my sister, her face riddled with concern. And then everything goes black.
Chapter 23
Shelley
FRIDAY
Betty calls me at 8.30am to say she isn’t feeling so good and can’t work today and I feel like someone has punched me in the heart for the second time in the past twelve hours. Last night was horrendous and the memories come flooding back of how Juliette had to be taken home by her sister and her husband and it all feels like one big nightmare.
‘Have you heard anything?’ Sarah asks me as I walk around my house in a daze, brushing my teeth as I talk to my best friend on the phone with Merlin following my every move.
‘No, not a thing but I have to go and open the shop for the first time in ages and I don’t know how I am going to deal with customers today.’
‘What are you thinking?’ asks Sarah as I walk past a photo of Lily, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.
‘I’m scared. I’m thinking a lot of things,’ I tell her. ‘I feel like I want to pack up and go to my dad and run away from it all.’
‘Well do that then,’ says Sarah. ‘Tell Matt to meet you in Belfast tomorrow instead of him flying into Dublin and take some time out from your life. You’re almost there, Shell. Maybe a bit of your dad’s company would do you the world of good right now. You’ve looked after Juliette and Rosie so well for what probably feels like forever but you still need to think of you, no matter what happens to them.’ I sit down on the edge of my sofa and I look out the window of the glass doors that lead onto my balcony and further onto the sea. Merlin curls up in behind me.
‘I did think of that,’ I say to her, ‘but then I’m afraid to go too far in case something bad happens to Juliette. I can’t just abandon them. I think Rosie is going to need me now more than ever.’
I lean back on the sofa and Merlin awkwardly makes his way onto my lap.
‘I hate to think of what is going to become of that poor child,’ says Sarah. ‘Juliette is very sick, Shelley. You can’t help that. You have to look after you now.’
‘You sound like Matt,’ I say to Sarah and I close my eyes, just wanting to get back into bed and forget about everything that happened so quickly last night.
Rosie had called me to the bar to tell me that she had a grand surprise for her mum and she was relishing in how well Juliette looked with her head scarf and her make-up and her lovely blue dress but when Helen and Dan arrived, it turned into a living nightmare for us all.
‘Mum, are you okay?’ Rosie called when she saw how pale Juliette looked, and before we had time to introduce each other, Helen swept in and took over and demanded that Juliette be taken back to the cottage where she was going to call her doctor immediately and I have never felt so useless in all my life.
‘The woman is terminally ill,’ Sarah reminds me and I nod in acknowledgement. I should never have become so close to them in the first place. How naïve can one person be? Of course it was going to end badly. What did I expect? Annual holidays and social networking in between? Juliette is dying and I feel like I am dying now too. I need to go to work but I don’t know if I can. I need to talk to Matt. I need him here with me because there is no way I can go and interrupt Juliette’s family time now that she seems to have taken ten steps backwards.
‘I need to get to work,’ I say to Sarah, and Merlin shifts on my knee as if to say it’s about time. ‘Maybe if you’re around you could pop in during the day? I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I feel so useless.’
‘I feel so guilty,’ says Sarah. ‘At least you have work to distract you for a few hours. I just wish I had never brought that photo with me. But how was I to know it was the wrong person? I haven’t slept wondering if the shock of that all was what triggered her to feel so faint and sick in the first place.’
‘It wasn’t the photo,’ I say to Sarah. ‘How could it have been? Juliette wasn’t well yesterday either or when we took her out on the boat. Maybe that’s what set it off. Maybe we’re thinking of too many maybes.’
‘Maybe she’s just misremembering the way he looked,’ says Sarah. ‘Like, how can she have thought that was his name and been so wrong all this time?’
‘Maybe he gave her the wrong name,’ I suggest and my stomach flips at the thought. ‘Have you ever thought of that?’
‘No,’ says Sarah. ‘I haven’t. What kind of man would do that?’
‘Someone who was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing? Look, I need to go and open the shop,’ I tell her. ‘Call me later. It’s good to be back in touch again, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is,’ says Sarah. ‘Now, I’m wondering who the hell this man of Juliette’s was. Are you sure you are okay?’
‘I am okay,’ I tell her, and I stand up but my legs are like jelly. ‘I’m glad I have you, Sarah. I think I am going to really need you soon if that isn’t too much bother.’
‘You will always have me,’ she tells me and I hang up knowing it’s true. I am going to need her very soon and I know it.
Juliette
Dan sits on the side of my bed, his face grey with worry and enforced sobriety.
‘I scared you all last night, didn’t I?’ I say to him but he doesn’t reply. He just holds my hand. I can hear Helen and Rosie argue in the kitchen as to who left the lights on all night and I long to yell at them that it doesn’t really bloody matter in the wider scale of things.
