Page 72 of A Part of Me and You
‘You look amazing,’ says Sarah when she joins our company, in a bit of a fluster. ‘You both do. I love the blue on you, Juliette.’
‘It’s from a really hot boutique,’ says Juliette.
‘In England?’
‘No! Right here.Lily Loves, of course,’ says Juliette. ‘I have to say this dress will always mean a lot to me after the week that we all have shared. Thank you, girls.’
Sarah grabs a stool, takes off her scarf and coat and sits down beside us.
‘I swear, I thought I was never going to get away from my house tonight,’ says Sarah. ‘I need a gin and tonic.Need. Do you ever feel like you are talking to yourself when it comes to men? I honestly told him I was going out at seven o’clock and he swanned in just twenty minutes ago like he hasn’t a care in the bloody world. If the shoe was on the other foot I’d have a lot to listen to.’
‘Ah, I’m sure you wouldn’t be without him,’ I say to Sarah, playfully. ‘Can’t live with them, can’t live without him. I have to admit I can’t wait for Matt to come home now. I never thought I’d utter those words and I’m so glad I finally feel that way for him again. It’s been a long, lonely three years. Horrible, really.’
I don’t know why I’m opening up so much but it really feels so good to be able to chat like this to my very good friends who I trust impeccably with anything I have to say.
‘I miss Dan, too,’ says Juliette. ‘How I wish he would just walk through that door and take me home and … God, what I’d give to have my old life back.’
I can sense for the first time since I met her, a glimpse of anger in Juliette when she realises just how much her life has changed due to her ill health.
‘Don’t think like that,’ I say to her. ‘Dan has his own battles going on but I’m sure he is going to be there for you, Juliette. Maybe not in the way he used to but he is still your husband and he knows you need him.’
Rosie comes back to the table sucking a straw from a glass full of cola and she perches on a stool in front of us.
‘Teigan has not stopped talking about you – she thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread, Rosie,’ says Sarah and Rosie’s face lights up at the compliment. ‘Rosie this, Rosie that. She says she wants you to be her babysitter, so if you ever come back here and need a job, I have one ready for you. Gosh, I would have paid a fortune just to escape a bit earlier this evening. Isn’t it great to get out and look around you, even if it’s only to Brannigan’s?’
‘I’d totally forgotten what it was like to socialise,’ I say to the girls. ‘And isn’t it nice to feel your toes tapping and do something as simple as clap along to the music. I think I’ve become institutionalised, I really do but at last I’m beginning to see there is a big bad world out there for me.’
Sarah puts her arm loosely around me and quickly gives me a squeeze.
‘It’s good to have you back,’ she says to me. ‘You’ve turned a massive corner, Shell, and I think that Juliette has a lot to do with it. You really did come here at exactly the right time, Juliette.’
Juliette looks like she is miles away and I know she is longing for her husband right now. I can’t even imagine the thoughts that must be going through her mind as she sits here in a place that holds so many ghosts and memories, watching her daughter who is bursting with life, hearing stories of how she could come back here without her, and longing to go back to the way things used to be. Juliette looks lost. She looks so afraid and alone.
‘I’m going to get in some drinks,’ says Sarah. ‘Is everyone okay or can I get you something stronger?’
‘I’ll go to the bar for you if you want,’ says Rosie. ‘Dean said he can serve me alcohol as long as he sees me handing it over. I already checked.’
I notice Juliette force a smile at her daughter’s enthusiasm to give us table service on our evening out.
‘Okay then, tell that cheeky face up there to give his old aunt a gin and tonic,’ Sarah says, handing Rosie some money. ‘And tell him to be more generous with the ice than he normally is.’
‘With pleasure,’ says Rosie and off she skips, delighted to have a third errand up to the bar.
‘If you want to go back to the cottage at any stage, just say,’ I whisper to Juliette as Sarah checks in her handbag. ‘Maybe you’ve heard enough music?’
‘No, no, I’m fine,’ Juliette says to me but I can see in her eyes that she is struggling. ‘Sarah just got here and Rosie is having fun. I’ll stay another little while. Not much longer, but a little while.’
She is pale and waxy looking and I notice that the dress is a bit looser on her than it was when she first tried it on last Saturday. Her hand trembles slightly as she reaches for her drink, then Sarah gets up from her seat and goes around the other side to sit next to her.
‘Well now, just as I promised, I have something for you,’ she says to Juliette, handing her a white envelope that looks like it has seen better days. ‘You don’t have to open it in here if you don’t want to, but I know you wanted to have it.’
I look on, puzzled, as Juliette stares at the envelope in amazement. She looks across for Rosie who is in mid conversation again with Dean, delaying with the task of getting Sarah a drink, but maybe that’s for the best right now.
Juliette opens the envelope and she takes out a picture of a young man with sandy brown hair, smiling blue eyes, bare-chested on the beach, looking right into the camera. It is Skipper and my heart gives a leap. I can’t even imagine how Juliette must feel at seeing his face again.
Sarah watches on at Juliette who doesn’t take her eyes off the photo.
‘He was a handsome chap,’ says Sarah. ‘I know it’s not much but it’s the only one I have of him and I want you to keep it and give it to Rosie when you feel the time is right. Gosh, I remember where I was when I heard the news. His funeral was one of the saddest I ever did see. Sorry, I shouldn’t even say that. Are you okay, Juliette?’
