Page 48 of A Part of Me and You
‘She is like my best friend, Matt, that’s how she is,’ I say to him, my voice softening now. I swallow. ‘She is a breath of fresh air and just what I need right now. I’ve missed her more than I realised. Sarah was amazing today.’
‘Yes, you have needed her,’ he reminds me. ‘She’s a good friend to you, love. You should let her be just that from now on.’
Mentioning Sarah just reminded me that I still have to tell him about Skipper. I take a deep breath. This is going to be quite the bombshell and the big moment I’ve been saving for when we finally have time to talk and my head is not all over the place.
‘There is a pretty big reason why they chose to come to Killara,’ I say to Matt, ‘and I want to tell you all about it but I’m totally drained right now and it’s a whole big story and I need to be in the right head space to even begin explaining it.’
‘Is it bad or good?’ he asks me.
‘It’s good,’ I laugh. ‘Well, it’s sad but good. I’ll tell you tomorrow, I promise. Where are you off to tonight? Anywhere nice?’
‘Meeting clients for a drink in the lobby,’ Matt explains. ‘Hardly the Ritz like you just said, but Bert warned me not to be late. I suppose I should go and shower, babe. I am so, so proud of you and all you have done today and yesterday, you know that?’
I cradle the phone.
I really don’t want him to go. I want to keep talking to him, to keep listening to his reassuring voice, to feel him close to me. The very thought of feeling like this stops me in my tracks. Matt has always been there, by my side, and I have never really worried about him not being there, or dare I say, noticed if he wasn’t there but now I have this want, or need, to talk to him. I’ve been enjoying talking to him for the first time in a long time. I actually feel something for him and I don’t want him to go. But he has to, of course.
‘Thanks Matt, I’m kind of proud of me too today,’ I whisper down the phone. ‘Have a lovely evening with your clients.’
He laughs.
‘You know I wish I was sat at home with you instead,’ he says to me. ‘I’m missing you tonight.’
‘Me too,’ I reply. ‘I’m missing you too.’
My admission hangs for a moment in silence. We both take a deep breath.
‘Chat to you tomorrow, love,’ he says. ‘Get an early night. You’re amazing, you know that, don’t you?’
Now it’s my turn to laugh.
‘Don’t over-do it,’ I say to him. ‘I’m only human and sometimes it’s nice to feel enough emotion to remind me of that. It’s nice to justfeelstuff. I think I’m slowly healing, whatever that means. Chat tomorrow, Matt. Have fun.’
We both linger before hanging up and I smile, thinking of the early days when we had just met and we’d do as most couples do, argue over who was going to hang up first, but then Matt remembers again that he is in a hurry.
‘Shit I need to go. Okay, go, go, go,’ he says.
I hug the phone against my ear to hear him closer.
‘Bye, bye, bye …’
And he is gone. And I sit there holding to the phone, enjoying the feeling of missing him. I have missed that feeling too.
Juliette
‘Hashtag, best day ever!’ says Rosie to Helen who has video called Rosie’s phone. ‘I swear, Aunty Helen, you would not have believed it, would you? Mum, on a beach, on a horse and actually loving it!’
‘Never in a million years,’ says my sister, who is beaming as much as we are, as we gawk into the screen, me leaning over Rosie’s shoulder.
‘It was what I can only describe as exhilarating,’ I tell my sister who is shaking her head in disbelief. ‘I’m serious! And the look on Rosie’s face when she saw me overtake her was priceless.’
‘Well, go you!’ says Helen. ‘Maybe we should all step out of our comfort zones a little bit more often and try things we don’t think we’ll enjoy. I’ve always wanted to have the courage to go up in a hot air balloon. Do you think I should try it?’
She makes what is supposed to be the sound of a hot air balloon rising and points slowly upwards as if going up into the sky.
‘If it’s good enough for Phineas Fogg, it’s good enough for you?’ I say to her and Rosie looks at me like I’ve sprouted a second head. ‘Didn’t he travel around the world in a hot air balloon or am I totally wrong on that one?’
‘Who?’ says Rosie and I make a face behind her back which of course she sees me do in the mini screen on her phone.
