Page 40 of A Part of Me and You
‘You called her Lily,’ she says, her face crumpling in sorrow. ‘You kind of … you didn’t hurt her, Shelley, it’s okay.’
She holds her daughter close. Poor Teigan. Merlin whimpers at my feet.
‘Don’t worry, I’m sure it was all a bit of a misunderstanding,’ says Juliette. ‘I’ll look after it from here, Sarah and like you said, I’m sure Shelley didn’t mean any harm.’
I called her Lily and I grabbed her but I only wanted to give the child some money to treat herself and her brother, just like people used to do to me when I was out walking with my mother when I was little. I didn’t mean any harm!
Sarah shakes her head in deep sadness and pity and nods at Juliette who links my arm and leads me away from my shop, further up the hill towards my house. I feel drunk but I know I’m not. I am so unsure of what just happened.
‘I was going to suggest you stay with us tonight but I’ll walk you home,’ says Juliette. ‘Your phone’s been ringing – it was under Rosie’s makeup bag of all places.’
I watch Sarah and her children scuttle down the hill into the village, her arm protectively around Teigan as she stoops down to whisper to her.
‘Maybe when we get you tucked up in bed you can text your husband and tell him you are going to be okay, Shelley,’ says Juliette. ‘And youaregoing to be okay, Shelley, because I am going to make damn sure of it.’
Juliette
We walk, arm in arm along the coastal hill that leads up to Shelley’s luxurious home in the distance, at the top of the little village with the still of the ocean to our left and green fields to our right. The lighthouse twinkles out on the sea and windy stone walls guide us along the busy little road that takes us out of the village and leads further south along the magnificent Wild Atlantic Way if we were to follow them that far.
I inhale the sea air, feeling like I am breathing in pure undiluted magic. How I wish I had more time to live in a place like this. If there is one thing that cancer has taught me, it’s to appreciate absolutely everything I see, touch, hear and feel. The smell of the fish and chip shop; the cry of the gulls above our heads and the feeling of space and freedom and being on holiday. Heaven, pure heaven, but to Shelley, she is still going through hell.
‘What happened?’ she asks me and I can only tell her what I saw.
‘You stumbled, that’s all,’ I tell her. ‘You were giving the little girl something and you stumbled towards her and you – well, you must have mistaken her for Lily.’
‘Money,’ she says. ‘I was just giving her money but all I could think of was Lily, all I could see was Lily. Teigan was Lily’s best friend and it’s her birthday in a few days’ time. I must have frightened the life out of her. Poor Teigan.’
‘That’s enough,’ I tell her. ‘That lady was your friend, right?’
She nods. ‘Yes. My best friend around here. We used to do so much together.’
‘Well, she’s bound to understand what you must be feeling right now,’ I tell her. ‘Anyhow, you needn’t waste time worrying about such minor things. Send Sarah a quick sorry and it will all be over and done with. Time is too precious to beat yourself up over nothing. Life is too short for shit, that’s my motto and don’t you ever forget it. No shit from now on!’
At this, Shelley starts to giggle, and then she stops in her tracks. I let go of her.
‘Why do you care so much about me, Juliette?’ she asks me. ‘And more to the point, why do I let you care? What is it about you that makes me let you in so easily?’
I have no idea how to reply. I have no idea why I care so I can’t answer her.
‘Well …I don’t know, you helped me by helping my daughter,’ I say to Shelley in my bid to explain. ‘Or maybe it’s just human nature to want to look out for someone in distress? Maybe I’m just being human?’
Shelley isn’t overly convinced.
‘But I am letting you,’ she says, her eyes wild and full of wonder. ‘I haven’t let anyone into my life in three years, never mind a stranger, and then you and your daughter come along and we’re best buddies all of a sudden and I feel better than I have in such a long time. I’m not knocking it or pushing you away, I just think it’s all a bit—’
‘Wonderful?’ I suggest. ‘Believe me, when you don’t have time to sweat the small stuff, you tend to focus on the positive acts of kindness rather than turning a blind eye or pushing someone away just because you can.’
She looks away from me and strands of her long, wavy hair blow in the breeze.
‘I have pushed so, so many people away who tried to help me,’ she confesses, her face full of worry. ‘I’ve been deliberately pushing everyone away, even my husband.’
‘I’ve been doing that too, so that’s another thing we have in common.’
‘You’ve been pushing away your husband?’
‘Yes, my husband, Dan,’ I tell her. ‘My darling husband Dan turned to the comfort of booze when I first was diagnosed a few years ago. I couldn’t bear to see him cry and beg for things to go back to how they used to be, so two weeks ago when I knew my dreaded next appointment was around the corner and the worst was yet to come, I asked him to leave.’
Shelley gasps. ‘No, Juliette, you didn’t?’
