Page 38 of A Part of Me and You
Check out my daughter being ‘hostess with the mostest!’ Shelley should feel very privileged indeed as it’s not everyone Rosie likes having around, especially during mother and daughter time.
‘I’m awake now,’ I call out to Shelley who must be terribly confused as to what is going on. ‘Just give me a few seconds. Maybe stick on the kettle, will you? I might choke if I don’t get a cup of tea quickly.’
And on that note, I’m not just being cheeky. Those bubbles have gone to my head from earlier and I’m really thirsty right now. Plus I’m really tired. I could sleep for a million years right now but I’ll have plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead, won’t I?
‘I’ll make the tea,’ says Rosie. ‘Shelley, will you stay? Please?’
I make my way out into the narrow hallway of the cottage to see Shelley standing at the living room door, her handbag on her shoulder and her dog at her feet. She looks like she needs me to rescue her from Rosie’s insistence that she stay for a cuppa. She also looks different, a lot brighter than before.
‘Rosie fixed my makeup,’ she says which explains her appearance, but for the first time since I laid eyes on her, I see an innocence shine through when she makes that simple statement about having her make up done. I see before me a girl who lost her mum at a young age too, someone who is longing for love from someone who won’t judge her, but will gently nudge her in the right direction through her sea of grief.
‘Well, don’t you look just like a movie star,’ I say to her with a smile, trying in the most superficial way to make her feel better. I long to hug her and tell her she is stronger than she thinks, but she is like a fragile little bird before me and I know she is doing so well to take these baby steps, already so much better than the frail, pitiful creature who served me in the boutique only yesterday.
‘I think I’ll slip off home now,’ she tells me in a whisper, looking at her watch. ‘It’s almost six in the evening and I need to get ready for work in the morning, and I’m sure Matt will be in touch soon and I can’t wait to tell him all about you two. You’ve really made me smile today. Thank you, Juliette. It’s been a while since I’ve smiled, believe me.’
‘And you’ve made a little girl in there a lot more content, so I’ve a lot to thank you for as well, Shelley,’ I say to her. ‘I think you’ve got a fan there. A little friend if you want one.’
She seems genuinely touched as she shrugs off her modesty.
‘Well, I am very honoured if that’s the case,’ she says to me, her beautiful face breaking into a smile.
‘You deserve to smile a whole lot more,’ I tell her. ‘You deserve to love and be loved and experience all the good things in this world. Life is good, you know that, Shelley. I don’t think I realised just how much more there is I want to do in this life until I was told that I can’t, so I plan to pack in as much as I can until I, quite literally, drop. Don’t stop living before your time is up.’
Shelley looks at the ground and then back at me.
‘You’re a remarkable woman, Juliette,’ she says to me. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you before. You are one in a million, but I’m sure you’ve been told that before. If I only had half your strength and positivity.’
‘Ah, stop,’ I say to her, feeling my cheeks blushing. ‘I have my meltdown moments too, don’t you worry. Plus I’ve had more than a few hard lessons recently myself and I suppose it all depends on how we react to the crap we are dealt with. No one gets it easy. None of us are getting out of here alive, so we may as well grab it by the horns while we can.’
I walk towards her but then decide to keep my distance as I get the impression Shelley doesn’t do hugs that often and I don’t want to scare her off, even though I think a good strong hug would do her the world of good.
‘I’ll take Merlin home and keep working on getting my life back together,’ she tells me, just as Rosie announces tea is ready in the kitchen. ‘Thank you so much. You have moved mountains for me today.’
‘Can you please stay for tea?’ asks Rosie, but I do think that Shelley’s time with us has come to an end, for today anyhow.
‘I’ll catch you both tomorrow maybe?’ she says. ‘I have to work in the shop but after that, you know where I am. In fact, I’ll give you my number.’
She takes out a business card forLily Lovesfrom her handbag and her hand trembles as she gives it over. This is a big step for her, I can tell. Is this what it’s like in life after death? Is this the empty shell I am going to leave behind in my daughter? I desperately hope not.
‘We’ll give you a call and you’re more than welcome to join us anytime for breakfast, lunch, dinner, whatever,’ I say to her, trying to lift her spirits by giving her something, anything, to take us up on. She looks like she might cry as she purses her lips and nods her head in response.
‘And Merlin too, of course,’ says Rosie. ‘I’d love to go horse-riding someday this week like I mentioned before if you’re up for it. Mum hates horses and it would be nice to have the company of someone who actually gets it.’
‘I do not indeed hate horses!’ I correct my daughter. ‘My goodness, you’re making me sound like Cruella de Vil! I am a bitafraidof horses, that’s all, but I certainly don’t hate them.’
Rosie rolls her eyes and mouths to Shelley. ‘She hates them. She pretends she’s allergic. Swear.’
‘I’ll text you my number now so you can give us a shout if you ever feel like witnessing my great hatred for horses,’ I tell Shelley. ‘Can I call you a taxi or are you okay to walk? At least it’s nice out.’
‘A taxi around here?’ she laughs. ‘I’d be home before you could explain the directions. It was such a lovely evening, seriously. You have no idea how much you have lifted my weary spirits.’
‘And you mine,’ says Rosie, and I gulp, wondering just exactly how much my daughter knows about my reason for choosing to come here to find her father without me telling her as yet. Maybe I will tell her tomorrow, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But for tonight, it’s movies and chilling with my girl after an interesting day. And for me, you can’t get any better than that.
Shelley
I walk through the village of Killara with my dog by my side and my head tilted just a little bit higher than it has been in a long, long time. It’s a gorgeous evening and I stop at the shop window ofLily Lovesand take in all of its greatness, allowing myself just a little moment of glory on how far I have come.
Everyone thought I would close the shop after Lily died and I guess I would have had great reason to, but Eliza stepped in and found me an assistant in Betty – an eccentric older lady from Limerick who was looking for something to keep her mind active and her eye for fashion alive. I did all the ordering from home for a long time while Betty, who in the early days I rarely had to meet face to face, kept things ticking over on the shop front while I took my time getting back on my feet again after what happened.
