Page 33 of A Part of Me and You
I can do this. I know I can.
Chapter 12
Juliette
‘Well, that was just to die for,’ I say as I scrape the last mouthful of buttered seabass and pesto mash off my plate. We are sitting outside the Beach House Café just as planned and to our delight and very much to our surprise, the sun has stayed out to greet us and it reflects off the bay as we talk and chat at ease.
‘I’ve never tasted crab claws before,’ says Rosie. ‘I can’t wait to tell everyone at home that I actually ate the claws of a crab! They were delicious. I think I may have a new taste for seafood, Mum.’
I smile at my daughter. We are making memories already and she doesn’t even realize it.
‘This is the girl who I once had to bribe when she was three to eat fish fingers,’ I remind her and Rosie rolls her eyes. ‘And now she has developed taste buds for seafood. Who knew!’
‘Mum, I don’t think Shelley really wants to hear my whole life history!’ says Rosie. ‘How boring to have to listen to what a teenager used to like and dislike when they were three, seriously!’
Oh, just when I thought I was getting away with daring to comment about her, the teenage Rosie with attitude is back in the room.
Shelley looks like her mind is in another world.
‘Are you okay, love?’ I ask her. ‘Did you enjoy your food? This must be one of your favourite places here, just to sit and feel the sun on your face, the cool crisp wine on your tongue and to look out onto the sea as the world goes by.’
But I may as well be talking Japanese. Shelley is elsewhere. Totally distracted.
‘My Lily always …’ she says.
Then she stops. She takes a deep breath.
‘Go on?’
‘My Lily … my Lily always loved fish fingers,’ says Shelley and I do a double take. ‘She would have eaten them for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I’d let her. Ketchup too, of course, lots of ketch—’
At that her voice breaks, as if it took all her energy just to tell that one simple anecdote.
‘Lily?’ I ask gently. ‘Is that … is that your daughter, Shelley?’
I dread to think what I am about to hear, but suddenly this poor woman’s nervous energy now is beginning to make sense.
‘That’s what you called me last night on the sand dunes, isn’t it?’ says Rosie in a whisper. ‘You thought I was Lily?’
Shelley nods in reply, already in a state of despair.
‘I’m sorry about that Rosie, but you’re not the first girl I’ve mistaken for Lily,’ she says. ‘I just can’t help but see her everywhere I go and it’s killing me inside.’
Her eyes fill up and they dart around, looking anywhere but at her present company. Oh God.
No one can speak. I honestly don’t know what to say. I put my hand out to reach hers but she pulls away and puts it up to cover her mouth.
‘I’d forgotten how much she loved some foods until you said it,’ she whispers, the tears now streaming down her face. ‘It’s funny the little things you forget until something triggers off a memory and then I have to realize all over again that she’s gone.’
‘Shelley, I am so, so sorry!’ I say to her. ‘You poor darling. All this time I’ve been talking about my own tales of woe and you’ve been going through your own hell. I am so sorry.’
‘I knew I shouldn’t be here,’ she says, standing up and gathering her belongings in a hurry. ‘I really should get home and stay on my own where I don’t cause a fuss. Thank you both, thank you for lunch. I knew this was a bad idea. I’m not ready. I knew it.’
‘You don’t have to go, Shelley,’ says Rosie. ‘We haven’t finished yet. If I’m being brave then maybe you can too?’
Her eyes continue to skirt around us and I follow them to notice the stares of other diners watching us from all corners of the patio and then to my horror they start to whisper at the commotion, looking directly at poor Shelley.
I overhear one sayingthat’s the lady whose daughter died so tragically when—
