Page 30 of Safe
Before Cody left, he dragged the table closer to me and ran inside and grabbed a couch cushion. He lifted my leg, slow and steady, then slid a cushion beneath it, adjusting until I was comfortable.
I lay back in my chair and stared out at the endless desert landscape. I knew it wasn’t the beach, but I hadn’t even been anywhere with sand since Mom and Dad died. I remember dadleading us on mini expeditions through the sand dunes, teaching us about different creatures, and showing us how to find crabs by the holes in the sand. Mom would always pack these amazing picnics, and we'd eat under an umbrella while she told us stories. We’d spend hours on the beach every day.
After they died, Alex and I wanted to go back, but we could never afford to take a vacation. I knew Mom and Dad had left us money, but Alex always told me it wasn’t vacation money, it was emergency money. Just once, I wish he had used some for us to get away, but he never did. I guess this was his way of trying to give me something that reminded me of better times. I spent longer than I wanted thinking about mom and dad. I could feel the sadness coming.
"You seem deep in thought." Cody walked back onto the balcony with a case of beer. "I hope you're a beer drinker because I went down the wine aisles, and I gotta tell ya, I'd be better off picking out the right feminine products."
I couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes I wanted to hate him so bad, but then I remembered that he got ripped away from his life, too, and he's been nothing but kind and helpful.
"You're safe. I love beer."
"Good, well, I hope you also like cards, because..."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a brand-new deck of playing cards and waved them in front of my face with the biggest grin on his face.
“I love cards!” I shrieked.
“Good. When we were overseas, your brother and I used to play cards every night during our watch. Sadly for you, you won’t find a game I can’t beat you at because your brother taught me everything I know about cards.”
"Oh yeah?" As I cracked open a beer, I thought that sounded oddly like a challenge. Too bad he had no idea who he was dealing with. "Funny, because he learned it all from me."I grinned at him before taking a big sip of my beer. It wasn't anything fancy, but it tasted amazing. I hadn't had anything except water or juice the whole time I was in the hospital.
We sat there playing card games until the sun had crept below the horizon. I had been laughing, drinking, and sharing stories from the past with Cody for so long that I didn't even notice how much time had passed, and I hadn’t had any time to think about why we were there. Before I knew it, half the beers were gone. We finished the last game of Rummy we were playing, and Cody started putting the cards away.
"Going to bed so soon?" I asked him. It was only 8:30, and the desert night was just beginning to come alive with the sounds of nocturnal creatures.
"No, not at all. I'm just tired of getting my ass kicked in Rummy. Maybe Alex really did learn everything from you, hustler.” He raised the bottle to his lips, took a slow sip, then set it aside with a quiet clink as his eyes locked onto mine. “Let's talk."
My finger traced the rim of the beer can as I watched a coyote trot across the distant dunes. "About what?"
“I don’t know. Anything. I want to get to know you better.” He took another long sip of his beer. “We’re stuck together, might as well be friends, right?
“Ask me something. Anything you want to know.” I surprised myself with the boldness I had just offered up. I wasn’t open about much with anyone.
“Anything? Someone has had a lot to drink,” he laughed before continuing. “Okay, Danielle, what are you most afraid of?”
I took a new beer from the case and cracked it open as I thought about whether or not I was going to give him the honest answer to that.
“Having kids,” I finally muttered, looking down into my beer, hoping to turn invisible.
Cody seemed surprised by my answer. I’m sure he was expecting something more common— snakes, heights, spiders. I could see him trying to figure me out in his head.
“Why having kids?” He tilted his head, watching me closely.
I knew the night would turn serious if I answered that question. Not even Alex knew of my deep and crushing fear of being a mother. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was the way the desert night seemed to hold secrets so well, but at that moment, I just wanted to tell someone. Maybe it was because I had no choice but to trust him, or because I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life trusting no one. It was the first time I felt like someone wouldn't make me feel less of a person for my answer. Just as I was about to speak, Cody interrupted my thoughts.
"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to," he said. I could see in his face that he felt bad for asking, for accidentally bringing some kind of trauma to the surface.
"I'm afraid of leaving them. Like my parents left me and Alex." I could feel the tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes.
I took a sip of my beer to try and hide my face, focusing on the stars that were starting to appear in the darkened sky. That's when I felt the warmth of Cody's hand on mine, and even though his hand was warm and comforting, I felt a shock run through my body like electricity.
"Hey," he looked me right in the eyes with a sympathetic and caring look of concern, "I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I get it. I really do."
I knew he did. I could see why Alex and Cody became fast friends. Other than the annoying little sister to take care of, Codyand Alex had the same childhood. I smiled at him and wiped my eyes.
The evening breeze was cool and refreshing, and I refused to allow memories of the past to ruin what had been an otherwise wonderful evening. It was the first night in years when I wasn't worried about Alex, scared of Landon, or fighting for my life.
“Okay, Mr. Morgan,” I said with a smirk. He cringed the second the word ‘mister’ left my lips. On the long drive, he mentioned he hated his last name. I thought it suited him. “What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done?”
