Page 25 of Safe
I gave Cody a thankful smile, but still a little wary. I didn’t want him to think I’d assumed the worst about him, or that Iwas suddenly buying into Alex’s idea that he was some sort of gentleman, or that I was even remotely interested in anything with any man ever again.
“Thanks, Cody.”
Cody helped me into the bathroom and closed the door behind me once I was inside. I lowered myself onto the toilet lid, fingers fumbling at the buttons on my shirt as the tremble in my hands made everything slower than it needed to be. The thought of showering alone, especially for the first time since the injury, made me nervous. Standing on my leg was hard enough on solid ground; the idea of doing it in the shower felt downright impossible. Still, knowing Cody was just outside offered a small bit of comfort.
I managed to get my clothes off and reached over to turn on the shower, feeling almost triumphant until I saw the tub’s ledge. Only then did I realize I hadn’t even considered how I’d actually climb into the shower.
I thought I could manage to sit on the ledge and swing my legs into the shower and stand back up again, but the ledge was too low, and with my two healing, weak legs, I was about as graceful as a newborn giraffe. Plan B was to just try my best to shift all my weight to one leg long enough to get the other in the shower, which also quickly went to shit as my ankle almost gave out, and a sharp, stabbing pain shot up my leg.
I looked around the bathroom for anything else that could possibly help me, but there was nothing. I considered Plan C, just sticking my head in and washing my hair, but a quick whiff of my armpit cancelled that idea. There was no way I could manage it by myself.
“Damnit!” I blurted out, frustrated, searching for a last-minute solution that didn’t involve Cody. That also proved to be futile because not even a second later, he called out, asking whatwas wrong. He wasn’t joking when he said he’d be right outside the door.
“I have a problem,” I forced out through my tightened jaw.
“Are you hurt?” His voice wobbled, the usual steadiness gone.
This was the point where I had to let go of my pride—and my privacy. Cody had proven himself during my rehab and again now, by waiting respectfully outside. As much as it embarrassed me, I needed his help, and I had to trust him with this.
“Cody…” I hesitated, hating how vulnerable I felt. “I can’t put all my weight on one side long enough to get into the shower. I…I think I need your help.”
No answer.
Did he leave the hallway? Did he die of shock? Is he out there freaking out? Or asking Alex for permission?
Oh God, please don’t ask Alex for permission.
“Cody? Hello?”
Finally, he answered.
“Alright, look. I know neither one of us is particularly thrilled about this, so just turn away from the door or something. I won’t look at…anything.”
Alright, Danielle. It's no different than when your nurse helped you.
I repeated this to myself countless times during those few seconds between Cody's words and the door opening, but I couldn't make myself believe it. I stood there, one arm braced against the wall, the other clutching my towel like a lifeline. When Cody opened the door, the steam rushed out, replaced by cool hallway air that raised goosebumps across my skin. I turned to see him approaching, trying his best to see nothing. It was at least endearing, if nothing else.
He stopped just before his body touched mine. I could feel the warmth radiating from his skin and his nervous, shallow breathing against my neck. After his quiet reassurance that he wouldn't do anything inappropriate, I let the towel fall, instinctively crossing my arms over my chest and squeezing my eyes shut.
The moment Cody touched me, I don’t know if I felt confused or comforted. He was so gentle as he lifted me that he somehow managed to make me feel vulnerable and safe all at the same time, just like the night before. I opened my eyes to find his eyes fixed steadily on my face, taking extra care not to look anywhere else. Focusing on the shades of blue in his eyes kept me from losing my composure and kept the emotions I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control in check.
Cobalt.
His eyes are Cobalt.
Once inside, the steaming hot water cascaded over me as I sorted through the thoughts in my head. Emotions flooded through me as tears pooled in my eyes, and I struggled to interpret what I was feeling, unsure if they were genuine feelings or just my subconscious responding to a gentle touch, something I hadn't experienced in so long.
It’s not that I was questioning any romantic feelings for Cody; that was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead, I wondered about this strange sense of security I felt, based on nothing more substantial than Alex's word and a day’s worth of kindness.
By the time I finished my shower, I had talked myself out of whatever I thought I'd felt. It wasn't real, just nerves and the novelty of gentle treatment. I couldn’t ignore the idea that, aside from everything, he was absolutely gorgeous. His jet-black hair always fell intentionally across his face, and maybe in another life, I would work up the courage to run my fingers through it.But that wasn’t this life. I wasn’t capable, and he didn’t need to deal with me. And anyway, all of this was negated by the fact that whateverthisfeeling was, it was inflated.
After all, when you've spent so long having the shit beat out of you, basic human decency can feel like something more than it is.
12. CODY
Walling off Danielle was easier than I anticipated, as long as she didn’t look at me, touch me, or wear perfume.
Who are you fucking kidding, dude?
