Page 54 of Sweet Omega
What was he thinking?He internally shoved the thought away, cheeks heating.
“I am a genius,” he said, scrambling for anything to say.
Tarymn laughed, and Ludiin found himself laughing too, tension momentarily broken.
“You should come with me tomorrow to meet Deltta,” Tarymn said.
“I can’t,” Ludiin replied. “My heat starts tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Tarymn paused, stepping back slightly. “Have you found an alpha?”
Kind of, Ludiin thought, the tips of his ears burning.
Tarymn nodded slowly, misreading the look on his face. “Good… that’s good,” he said, and then again, softer. “Good.”
Ludiin didn’t correct him. Because if he did, Tarymn would start suggesting alphas, offering to help. And Ludiin didn’t want help.
He wantedhim. Even though he really, really shouldn’t.
“What are you making?” Ludiin asked, forcing his voice to sound casual as he shoved his feelings so far down where he couldn’t feel them.
Chapter 11
Ludiin
Food. A warm blanket. His favorite scent curling through the air. And…Ludiin’s gaze dropped to the pleasuring bot he’d built on the bed like a secret he’d rather keep buried.
He hadn’t tested it yet. He hadn’t wanted to touch it outside of his heat. Making it had already felt like crossing a line. A line he hadn’t meant to get so close to.
You needed it,Ludiin told himself, shame thick and sticky in his throat. It wasn’t about pleasure. Not really. It was a coping mechanism, a crutch to get himself through his heat, because he couldn’t find an alpha of his own to save his life. Even if it made him feel like a sick perverted sicko.
“Okay… everything is ready,” he whispered into the stillness.
He moved to the lone chair in the room, dropped into it, pulling his knees up to his chest. Anxiety pulsed under his skinlike a second heartbeat. He didn’t know how this was going to go. He just prayed his plan worked.
Eyes closed, he focused inward, on the first flickers of change. The faint buzz at the base of his spine, the slow heating of his skin, the shift in the rhythm of his breath. It was starting. And with it, the memories of how bad it had gone before. Then Tarymn had come…
He clenched his teeth, holding the panic at bay.
I have everything I need,he reminded himself.This time will be different.
But then a wave of need hit, slicing through him like a knife.
“Okay,” he muttered, pushing himself upright, body trembling. Ludiin walked to the bed and lay down. His hand trembled as they closed about the pleasuring bot, and he closed his eyes imagining that night…with Tarymn… in this very bed.
Oh shit,Ludiin moaned as he spread his thighs and ran his fingers over his hole. He was so wet. Dripping.
He pushed one finger inside, mouth dropping open on a soft moan. It felt so good.
Ludiin stared up at the ceiling, letting out another moan. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he feared. Maybe, just maybe, things would actually work out. He pulled out his finger and brought the pleasuring bot to his hole. He pushed in. And—
“Ahh…” Ludiin gasped as he came on the spot. He hadn’t even turned the bot on yet. He buried his face in the pillow, as he came so hard his entire body shook. The tremors rippled through him, raw and uncontrollable, as if he were unraveling from the inside out.
With unsteady fingers, Ludiin turned the pleasuring bot on, and buried his face into the pillow as it started to thrust deep inside him.
It felt amazing.
Not quite the same as when Tarymn was inside him, but close. Close enough that he could almost pretend. Pretend the alpha was there, fucking him in deep, steady thrusts that had him on the fucking edge. Close enough to believe, just for a moment, that everything was going to be okay.
