Page 78 of Fair Play
“I think deep down you know what you want but you’re scared. And I don’t blame you. Two divorces. Six teams in ten years. Losing your dad. The way your sister took Denise’s side in the divorce. How worried you are about your financial future. I understand all of that, but at the same time, I’m something of an outsider looking in. And from where I’m sitting, everything is different with Billie.
“She doesn’t care that you’re a hockey star. She’s not interested in your money?—”
“Because I don’t have any,” I mutter.
She rolls her eyes and continues. “She’s smart, independent, and doesn’t seem at all intimidated by the age gap, her brother’s feelings, or anything else. All she appears to care about is you. I think that’s special.”
“It is.”
My mother wipes her hands and comes around the counter, putting a warm hand on my cheek. “You’re my firstborn. My only son. The sunshine in my life from the moment I gave birth to you. Yet you fight the good inside of you, and I’m not sure why. But it’s there, son. And all your dreams can come true if you just let them.”
Why does that feel like a punch to the gut?
I’m my own worst enemy, no doubt about that, but it’s hard to hear it from one of the only two people who possibly know me better than I know myself—my mother and Billie.
Chapter 29
Billie
Exhaustion has startedto set in but I don’t have time to slow down. The countdown to graduation is on, I’m working at the diner almost every day in between classes and working on my final projects. Rome and I try to grab lunch or breakfast or anything we can, but the sneaking around has begun to grate on both of our nerves.
On top of that, with each passing day, his injury is healing so he’ll be back to hockey before we know it. And that means we’ll see even less of each other.
The Phantoms made it to the playoffs, which is a big deal after the bus accident last year prevented many of the guys from being able to participate. For me, it’s a double-edged sword because if the accident hadn’t happened, Bodi and Blake would probably still be playing for the Rebels. Still be broke. Still be fighting every day for a dream that was probably never going to come true.
Until it did.
That’s partly why I’m trying so hard not to blow everything up.
There will definitely be hurt and anger once I tell Bodi the truth.
His response will bleed into Rome’s life, and that’s another situation.
Trying to piece everything together makes my head hurt so I’ve put it all out of my mind until both hockey season, and maybe even my school year, are over. Frankly, I can’t take on anything else.
I know it’s the best decision for all of us short-term, but it’s really fucking hard.
Especially today.
It’s Easter Sunday and the Phantoms have a family day happening at the arena. There’s an egg hunt in a small part of the stands for the smaller kids, open ice skating for everyone else, and a booth set up with coffee, hot chocolate, cider, and donuts.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting here with a pair of borrowed ice skates unable to move.
Bodi told me I didn’t have to come but I wanted to. I hate that he thinks I’m somehow going to be corrupted by hanging out with his teammates and their families, even though there’s a tiny bit of truth to it now that I’m involved with Rome.
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice is soft, close to my ear.
“Hi.” I don’t look at him, just continue staring out at the ice longingly.
“Come on. Get your skates on.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You will. Don’t make me squat down and lace them up for you right here in front of everyone.”
I whip my gaze to his. “Don’t you dare!”
“Put the skates on, baby.”
