Page 84 of Fair Play
“You guys know my brother would lose his mind if I started dating one of his teammates,” I say, hoping that’s a big enough hint to make them drop it.
“But you’re a grown-up,” Ally says. “Why would?—”
“Grown-up stuff is complicated,” Saylor interrupts, quickly silencing her.
“But Uncle Canyon says the men on this team are some of the best men he’s ever known,” she presses. “Why doesn’t Bodi like them?”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” I say since this topic obviously isn’t going away. “Our parents were killed when we were fifteen and eighteen so Bodi sort of finished raising me. He stepped up to the plate so I wouldn’t have to go into foster care and I think sometimes he forgets that I’m grown up now. That’s all. He loves his teammates, but you also have to remember that Bodi’s only been here a year. He doesn’t know everyone that well yet. It takes time to forge those kinds of relationships.”
Luckily, this gives them the perfect opportunity to talk about how important tonight’s game is and what everyone is doing to make life at home as easy as possible for the guys. I feel a little guilty because I’m not doing anything for Bodi and Rome, but it’s also different for me.
Since Bodi can’t know we’re a couple, it’s not like I can run a bath for Rome when he gets home or something like that. They already have a cleaning service, they split the tasks of dropping off and picking up dry cleaning, and they even ride to the airport together when they travel. They’re a pretty well-oiled machine when it comes to the basics, so there’s not much I can add to the equation.
It'll be different when Rome and I officially become a couple.
So I listen attentively, trying to wrap my head around the things these ladies do for the hockey players in their lives. And it’s a lot. I won’t have time to do all that if I’m working sixty hours a week for Nita.
Suddenly I need a little air, and I excuse myself to the restroom.
Instead, I wander around the concourse, buy a glass of wine, and sip it as I lean against a wall.
“Hey. Whatcha doin’?” Athena comes over to me with a curious smile.
“Having some wine. Chillin’ out for a minute.”
She cocks her head. “Did the conversation about being a hockey wife scare you?”
“A little. Just because I’m so caught up in my own thing… I don’t know how I’d do those things for Rome.”
She smiles. “He’s a grown-ass man who can take care of himself. You’re an adult with your own life and career. Yes, you have to be there for each other. I can’t imagine saying you have to work on the night of game seven of the Stanley Cup finals when your husband is playing…”
“Oh, of course. I just mean day-to-day life. Listening to everything they do… it’s daunting.”
“Most of them either don’t work, don’t have children, or have flexible schedules.”
“I don’t even know if I want kids,” I say. “It’s nowhere on my radar.”
“Have you and Rome talked about that?”
“Not in any detail. We’re focused on the now, you know? Getting to know each other and trying to get through the season without upsetting the Bodi apple cart.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No. I’m just overwhelmed. And the secrecy doesn’t help. I’m scared because…” I hesitate but Athena and Nita are truly the only people I can talk to right now.
“Because?”
“Because I love both of them. Bodi is annoying but he’s my brother, the person I trust the most in the world. No matter how mad he is or how badly I fuck up, he’ll be there for me.”
“And you don’t know Rome well enough to trust him yet.”
“It’s not even that. It’s just different. No matter what happens, Bodi will always be my brother. Rome could move to his cabin in New York tomorrow and forget all about me.”
“If you’re worried about that, you need to talk to him.”
“Not during the playoffs.”
“I love my brother dearly, but historically, he hasn’t been an easy man to love. I don’t blame him for his divorces but he wasn’t innocent either. And one thing I know he was guilty of was lack of communication. Don’t make that mistake. Make sure you talk. Especially the difficult conversations, because if you can’t open up to him now, how are you going to navigate the bad times that happen in life? That’s what this whole thing with your brother is, and no one knowing where they’re going to be in a few months…it’s a lot. Don’t let life overwhelm your feelings for each other. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.”
