Page 83 of Fair Play
He whistles as he walks away, leaving me with a moment of discomfiture—we don’t talk about this kind of shit often—but it’s quickly replaced with…warmth? My mother mentioned how Billie looks at me. Now Marty. Hell, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I just haven’t wanted to acknowledge it.
This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to throw caution to the wind and just do whatever I have to do to make her mine. I know she wants that too. It’s just so damned complicated. I can’t afford to give her the life she deserves. Then there’s my history of divorces. The difference in our ages. Her being at the start of her career while I’m at the end of mine. How much her brother is going to fucking hate it.
There’s no doubt in my mind, no matter how it goes down, he’s going to hate that we’re together. And he’s going to hateme. How we’ll continue to play together, I don’t know. I want to make it work, both with her and with the Phantoms, but that’s my biggest fear right now—that this is going to blow up in both of our faces.
If I’m honest, the situation with Bodi has made it easy for me.
No one can know that we’re together, so I’m safe.
My bank account is safe. My rep on the team is safe.
Myheartis safe.
I’ve been playing it safe and essentially taking advantage of Billie by keeping things under wraps while still enjoying all the perks of having a girlfriend. That’s not fair to any of us. Not her, not me, not even Bodi. He should know about someone important in his sister’s life, and while most of this is his own doing, I feel like I’m the bad guy.
As usual.
Christ, this isn’t what I’m supposed to be thinking about.
Hockeyshould be my only focus.
Billie isn’t going anywhere. At least, I don’t think so.
Our bond is solid. We have a plan, loosely speaking, and even though Marty’s words resonated, I’m not making any rash decisions.
Billie knows I have to focus on finding my groove again in hockey and she’s busy with work and school anyway. We had a conversation about the next couple of weeks being insanely busy so we’re on the same page.
The time to revisit the conversation with her will be after this series is over. Depending on what happens, she and I can hash out the talk with Bodi. Not only is it the right thing to do, it’s also getting close to her graduation, and I’ll be damned if I miss it. I know she wants Athena and Nita there too, so it’s going to be a big deal.
And one that I intend to be a part of.
Chapter 31
Billie
As the endof the semester draws closer, I’m swamped with all things school and final projects, most of them tied to my job at the diner. The thing is, it doesn’t feel like work most of the time. It’s so much fun to be at the restaurant, working with Nita, learning the ropes, and finishing my schoolwork at the same time. My only regret is not having much time with Rome.
There’s a game tonight, though, and it’s a big one. They’re up three games to two in a seven-game series, so if they win, they move on to the second round. I’m excited to be sitting with the other wives and girlfriends, even though I can’t talk about my relationship with Rome.
I’d almost convinced myself to talk to Bodi about it but these games are too important to put the guys at odds. And for the first time since he got to L.A., Rome seems to be settling in. From what I’ve read, the general consensus is that he’s playing his best hockey in a couple of years, seems focused, and has been hanging out with Marty, Canyon, and a few of the others.He and Bodi not so much but I think that’s more about the age difference than anything else.
The younger guys party hard sometimes and Rome isn’t about that life anymore, so it makes sense that he’s more comfortable with the older, more settled guys on the team.
I think the girls suspect something, though. Athena knows everything, but she’s here with her mom tonight, so I’ve been careful to keep the conversation completely related to school, work, and hockey.
“Will you keep living with Bodi when the season is over?” Saylor asks between periods.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “There’s so much up in the air. We don’t know if Rome will get an extension on his contract and I certainly don’t want to put him out, though I think he’ll want to move even if he stays in L.A.”
I catch a weird look Mrs. Castellano and Athena share, with Athena giving a firm shake of her head, but I try to ignore them.
“I thought you and Rome were a couple?” Ally asks in confusion.
I nearly groan when Saylor says, “Wait—you’re not?”
“Oh. Um, no,” I say quickly. “We’re friends and roommates right now, but that’s all.” Fuck, Ihatelying like this.
“Oh. Okay.” Stevie looks confused, and I send her a pleading look because I feel like she knows something I don’t know she knows.
