Coward.
There was that voice reminding me that I wasn’t being the kind of man my momma would expect of me.
I was a coward, though. That wasn’t new information. I was positive that everyone who knew me already knew that word fit me better than a broken-in pair of Wranglers. I heard the clunk of her boot heels as they came down the hallway, and I turned just as she stepped through the doorway. I fell to one knee with her coat clutched to my chest while my eyes feasted on the beauty before me. She had taken my breath away so hard that I forced a deep inhale so I didn’t pass out from the spots dancing in front of my eyes.
Her red western shirt sported mother of pearl snaps down the front, the top two open, allowing me a peek of her cleavage. There were lace cut-outs everywhere, teasing me with just the hint of her beautiful alabaster skin that made me instantly hard. Her jeans were tight, new, and hugged all the places I loved the most. Even her silver Heavenly Lane belt buckle that was bigger than my hand didn’t distract from the image of what lay underneath. She wore the leather bison Stetson I’d made her this past summer with a red hatband to finish the look.
“Beau? Are you okay?” she asked, stepping forward to grab my shoulder.
The look in those beautiful brown eyes when I gazed up at her was my undoing. I grabbed her, kissing her so hard our teeth almost collided from the force. I pulled her down on top of me and dipped my tongue in to taste her. She tasted of Jim Beam, which told me she was as nervous about this as I was. I moaned, my hands knocking the hat off her head to bury themselves in her hair. Her chest heaved against mine until I released her so we could both suck in air again.
“I guess you showed me,” she said, sitting up and straightening her shirt.
“No, you showed me. Holy hell, Dawn. This outfit. You’re built like a Coke bottle, and you sure as hell can ride any horse in my string.”
Dawn tipped her head to the side for a moment. “Beau Hanson, you sure have a way with the ladies.” She shook her head with laughter on her lips. “I think those were compliments anyway. We better go,” she said, pushing herself up off the floor and checking her lipstick in the mirror by the door.
I groaned again and rubbed the front of my jeans, the pressure against my zipper making them tight and uncomfortable.
Dawn spun around to face me. “You okay?”
I shook my head back and forth slowly. “Not even the least little bit. There’s hardly any back to that shirt, darlin’, and those jeans cupping your backside—I’m drowning in want. All my mind can think about is hearing the snaps on that shirt popping open tonight before I cover you in cream and lick you clean.”
When I stood up, she pointed at my pants. “It seems I have indeed caused a problem. Unfortunately, we don’t have time to do anything about it now, do we?”
I rubbed the front of my pants again, the pain almost too much to bear, especially with her teasing. She motioned me over with a crook of her finger, so I went to her, and the next thing I knew, she had my pants unzipped and my bulging need between her lips.
“Dawn!” I exclaimed as she sucked me deep into her throat. My legs shook instantly at being buried in her warmth again. Her tongue traced my tip and then stroked me up and down, her gaze holding mine the entire time.
Oh my God, this woman. She was going to be the very end of me and the immediate beginning. She was going to be my whole life if I could put aside the fear that I harbored about losing her from my life when I least expected it. My hips shook from the power it took not to thrust into her and hurt her, but at the same time, find that release I hadn’t asked for but desperately needed.
My fingers slid through her hair, the silkiness erotic against my skin as she swallowed me whole, her hand wrapped around me to add extra pressure until I couldn’t keep it together. I couldn’t hold back the waves breaking over me, and I came with a guttural moan of pleasure, disbelief, and love. The strongest emotion I had as I stared into the eyes of this beautiful woman was love. I still didn’t know what to do with that, but admitting the truth was the first step.
I ran my fingers through her hair again and let out a ragged sigh. “You are more than I deserve, gorgeous. Please, don’t ever leave me.”
Dawn winked and straightened her blouse while I fixed my pants and worked to bring my breathing and heart rate back under control. “I’m harder to get rid of than fleas on a farm dog, darlin’,” she said before sashaying to the kitchen for her cream puffs.
The McAwleys were nothing like I expected them to be. Led to believe that Ash was a tall, lanky, weathered grizzly bear, I was greeted instead with a warm hug from a tall, lean, sweet man who was far more loving to everyone than I expected him to be. Amity, while husky and athletic in pictures, was friendly and engaging in person. She had story after story to tell about Blaze and Beau growing up together. Ash and Amity had a whole houseful of boys, and now they had five grandsons. Amity was begging Heaven for a granddaughter, but all Blaze and Heaven did was laugh. I just hoped she wasn’t going to look at me anytime soon.
Beau had noncommittedly introduced me as Dawn Lee, and everyone accepted it without blinking an eye. I suspected that Heaven and Blaze had filled them in on Beau’s inability to commit to the situation.
“I haven’t seen Beau smile and laugh this much in just about ever,” Amity said, walking into the kitchen carrying the empty platter that once held bison steaks. “I’m surprised he’s doing so well considering the date.”
I accepted the platter from her and plunged it into the hot, soapy water. “Beau’s working through it,” I agreed without saying more.
Amity lifted a bowl from the drainer and dried it with a flour sack towel. We had sent Cece home after dinner since she had a long day of cooking at the ranch tomorrow. “I bet you have something to do with it.”
“Beau and I have been friends for years, Mrs. McAwley,” I jumped in before she could say more.
She set the bowl down and put her hand on her hip. “Please, it’s Amity. As for the number of years you’ve been friends, I didn’t say anything about that. I said, I bet you had something to do with him doing as well as he is right now.”
I shrugged and set the platter in the drainer before pulling the plug on the sink. “While I’m here to support Beau and let him feel whatever he needs to feel where it’s safe, I think maturity is what’s behind the situation. With age and experience, he’s learned how to process his emotions better. He’s also come to realize that while his mother might fade from his memory, he will never forget her as long as he keeps her memory alive in his heart.”
Amity hmm’d her agreement until the platter was dry and put away. “We tried to teach him that as a child. Did you know that he has a whole book of stories he wrote down about her after her death?”
I crossed my arms over my chest as I leaned against the counter. “Beau told me, yeah. He said it was at the bank in a safety deposit box. I offered to make a digital copy for him, but he didn’t jump on the idea, so I didn’t push him about it. I don’t think he’s ready to share it with anyone yet, and I understand that. When and if he asks me to do it, then I’ll help him with it.”
“In other words, you’re letting him lead the relationship, and his nosy foster mom should keep her giant Texas nose out of your business.”