Page 20 of Long Past Dawn
I nodded, unable to give her an answer with words.
“The weight loss and your eye are part of it?”
I nodded again as the first sob escaped my lips. Heaven put her arm around me and guided me up and out of the chair, leading me to sit on the couch where she hugged me with all the caring and love I needed at that moment. She didn’t make me talk about it or explain it to her. She just let me be sad in a place I always felt safe and offered me the comfort I needed now more than ever.
We’d had nothing but problems at the ranch for the last week. I’d had holes in fences, winter damage to buildings, and bison on the loose. Even Blaze was out helping to get everything under control. He was getting married in two weeks on this ranch, and his daddy wasn’t going to show up to see the place falling apart. Not if I had anything to say about it. I’d work morning until night if I had to. The ranch had to be in tip-top shape when the McAwleys rolled into town. It had been years since Ash and Amity had come to Wisconsin. I was going to make sure they noticed the improvements we’d made since they were here last.
Every rancher knows there will be problems with equipment and buildings, and Blaze’s daddy is no different, but he will expect the place to look respectable. It would look respectable, even if it killed me. I owed them so much more than respectable. I owed them my life. I guess that was why I put up with so much from Blaze over the years. I was just so damn grateful for the opportunities they gave me that I never wanted to disappoint Ash, even if his own son did.
I wasn’t dumb when it came to life. I was raised by a single momma and had spent a lot of time alone, even when she was alive. I know if Ash and Amity hadn’t taken me in, who knows where I’d be or what I’d be doing. They shielded me from a lot of horribleness that I could have experienced in the foster system and beyond. They made me one of their own without asking for anything in return. This was one of those times when I wished I hadn’t been so stubborn at fourteen. I wish I had agreed to let them adopt me, so I had their last name. I wanted to be part of the family in name, and by the time I was seventeen, I had come to regret my decision. I didn’t want to say anything then because everyone was happy to respect my wishes and let me remain my mother's child.
I wiped my brow on my shirt sleeve and braced the pitchfork in the hay bale next to me. I had to stop thinking about the past and the mistakes I made back then. It just made me feel like even more of a failure in the eyes of Ash and Amity. The only thing I could do was show them the lessons they taught me all those years ago were what had helped me make this ranch successful. I could start by making sure this barn was in tip-top shape when they arrived.
The barn here at Bison Ridge held sixteen horses, eight on each side. Each stall had a door that opened to the outside and allowed fresh air inside. We’d redone the barn about six years ago, and it was beautiful with light oak wood stall doors and black wrought iron stall bars. We had a functional tack room on one end, and a few years ago, we added an addition that holds all our seasonal equipment like lawn mowers, snow blowers, and the UTVs. Since the barn was our backup location for Blaze and Miss Heaven’s wedding ceremony, I had to make sure it was spic and span. If it rained, we’d be using the tack room for their vows, and I didn’t want to scramble to get it all done right before the wedding. Besides, when Mr. McAwley arrived, it better be so clean you could eat off the floor.
We had a small barn by the house where we kept Rapunzel and Cloudy Day. Last fall, Blaze had added another stall in that barn for Grover, so Miss Heaven had a place to keep him when she was here. That was also where my workshop was. It was the small tack room, but it was big enough for what I needed right now. If I got more hides like Blaze was talking about, though, I’d need a more extensive workshop.
“I’ve never seen it gleam like this before,” a voice said from the open door. “The sun glints off the wood.”
“Hey, Miss Heaven. Thanks, it’s taken a lot of work, but I think the barn is finally ready if we need it for the ceremony.”
“More likely, you’re worried about what the senior McAwley will say about the place when he flies in.”
I shrugged and leaned against a stall, taking a drink of water from my bottle. It was barely April, but the days were warm, especially when you were working hard. “It’s been exactly six years since he was here the last time, Heaven. I want him to see the improvements we’ve made since then.”
Heaven walked up to me and sat on a haybale, handing me a cold Dr. Pepper. “It would be hard not to notice, and most of that is because of you. I’m inviting you, Dawn, and Tex to have dinner with us tonight. Cece is going to do steak and potatoes with chocolate cake. After we eat, we have some things to discuss.”
I nodded while I swallowed half the can of Dr. Pepper in one swig. “I’m available, but I already know what’s going on. Blaze cut me in on it the other day. I don’t want to get in the way of you explaining things to Dawn and Tex, Miss Heaven. I’ll stay back here and hold down the fort.”
“I know,” she agreed. “Blaze told me he cut you in on it. That’s fine. Regardless, I want you there. You’re as much a part of this family as anyone else. Considering you’ll be co-owner of Bison Ridge, I think you should be there. I know Dawn is going to need some reassurance. Something tells me she will accept them better from you than me.”
I cocked a brow and lowered the can from my lips. “I don’t think that’s true, Miss Heaven.”
She held up her hand. “I’m begging you, Beau. Stop calling me Miss Heaven. Heaven is fine. It’s what everyone else calls me.”
I grinned and tipped my hat backward on my head. “I know, but you’ll always be Miss Heaven to me. Maybe after you get married, I’ll learn to drop it. It’s a respect thing. No disrespect is ever meant. I was raised to be a proper gentleman; unlike that hick you’re marryin’.”
She snorted and almost choked on her Dr. Pepper. “Hey, now!” she exclaimed, but laughter filled her words. “He used to call me Miss Heaven, too. I just finally convinced him not to. Don’t sidetrack me, though, boy. It is true that Dawn listens to and respects your opinions. You’ve worked on a ranch a lot longer than she has, so you understand the intricacies that go into running a business like this. If you tell her she should jump on the deal, she will.”
I lowered myself to a bale of hay and leaned over my thighs. “I’m not sure why Dawn would need me to tell her to do that. You’re offering her a chance to own part of the business she’s poured her heart and soul into for the last half a decade. I can’t believe she won’t jump at the chance.”
Heaven swallowed her soda slowly as though she had to search for the right words to say. “Dawn is having a hard time of it right now. I don’t want her to do something rash in the short term when circumstances can easily change for the better down the road.”
The can slid out from between my fingers and hit the barn floor. “What are you saying? Is she sick? That’s what her weight loss is about, right? I’m afraid she’s going to snap if I touch her too hard. She’s got little chicken bones now.” I thought about how swollen her hands were when I took her to the pharmacy a few weeks ago. “Dammit, I’ve been so wrapped up in myself I didn’t put two and two together. Her hand, right?”
Heaven didn’t answer. She just tipped her head and averted her eyes to her can.
“Miss Heaven, so help me God, if you don’t tell me what’s going on right this minute, I’m going to drive over there and tell her you did!”
“No!” she hollered, jumping up and almost tipping over. I grabbed her and righted her, but she was angry, ripping her arm from my hand. “Don’t threaten me, Beau Hanson!”
I stood to my full height and took her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I wasn’t threatening you. I’ve been worried, but now I’m scared. I want to know what’s going on. Is she dyin’?”
Heaven’s hand squeezed mine for comfort. “No, she’s not dying. She’s scared and worried and in pain, though. I don’t want to lose her as a friend or have her leave the ranch. She needs us right now, even if she pretends like she doesn’t. It’s not my right to tell you what’s wrong with her or how she feels about it. I won’t hurt her or break her confidence by doing that. I will admit to you that she’s afraid to tell you about it.”
I held both hands out to my sides. “Why? Does she think I’m going to judge her or what? We’ve been friends for years. If she thinks I can’t see she has a problem, then there’s a porch light on, but no one is home. I’ve seen it. I just haven’t pushed her about it because she clams up every time I do.” I groaned and hung my head.
“What?” she asked, confused.
