Page 14 of Long Past Dawn
I lifted the saddle off the side of the barn stall and carried it into my workshop. While I worked, I played over the situation with Dawn in my mind. The stuff I said and the stories I confided in her last night haunted me today. I never talk about when my momma died or how. I didn’t even talk to Blaze about it, and he knew her. I suppose the Jim Beam was the reason, but now that fly was out of the barn, and I couldn’t get it back. I could already feel the awkwardness with Dawn this morning. Then again, that might have had more to do with me kissing her like a fool than anything. I hated that things were going to be awkward between us forever now.
Well, not forever, I guess. Not once I leave. The weird part was, I’d known Dawn for six years, and I’d never once mentioned my family. I was meticulously careful never to say a word. Blaze knew better than to mention it, so I never had to worry about him spilling the beans either. In the end, I had to worry about my own lips opening cans of worms that were better left closed.
“Doesn’t matter, Beau,” I said as I hefted the newly redesigned saddle back into my arms. “Once you leave this place, none of it matters.”
That wasn’t true. Not even a little bit. All of it mattered, and I suppose that was why a bottomless pit of pain and sorrow had opened inside me. Leaving was what I had to do, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do.
I carried the saddle to the barn stall and hoisted it over Grover, then adjusted the billets. I was just completing the final check of the working parts on the saddle when someone cleared their throat. My hand froze, and I waited to see if it was one of the ranch hands or if Blaze had finally realized I was on the property.
“What are you doing with Grover?” asked a meek voice from behind me.
Miss Heaven.
I turned slowly and kept my hand on the gentle giant standing next to me. There, in the middle of the barn, was my best friend and his fiancée. He had a cup of coffee in each hand and held one out for me. “Thanks,” I whispered, taking a sip of the warm brew.
Grover saw his favorite gal and flapped his lips in protest at being kept from her. I patted his neck. “It’s fine, boy,” I whispered to him until he settled down.
Miss Heaven pointed at her horse. “I would say that looks like my saddle, but I can’t.”
I nodded my head a couple of times. “It’s your saddle. I was just making a few adjustments to it.”
“Adjustments?” Blaze asked as they both descended on the stall.
To keep Grover from freaking out, I led him from the stall so he could nuzzle his nose into Heaven’s body. She laughed, and the sound cut through the tension in the barn. Her laughter brought a smile to mine and Blaze’s lips. She always had a way of doing that, even when you couldn’t find a smile in a haystack.
I’d hurt these two people and couldn’t find the words to apologize, but she was still here offering me grace rather than anger. My heart was broken knowing this was the end of Blaze and Beau, and nothing should make me smile, but yet, it was Heaven who made sure I was. I would be grateful to her for that as I rode away from the place I thought would always be home.
Heaven patted the horse’s neck while she took in the changes to the saddle. “I’ve never seen anything like this, Beau.”
I shook off my doom and gloom and flipped the left armrest up. Then, I walked around the horse and lengthened the right stirrup. “I’ve been making some modifications in the workshop.”
“Modifications?” Blaze asked, and I nodded as I flipped the leather hand strap over the saddle horn. It seemed like he was going to repeat everything I said this morning.
“Things to make it easier for Miss Heaven to mount and dismount when she doesn’t have the mounting stairs. I know Grover can get up and down on command, but the old guy is getting up there in age. My hope is the changes will keep him from getting arthritis in his joints. It will also protect Miss Heaven better in the saddle when she’s riding. I think, anyway. I’m not real smart, but I did do some research online.”
Heaven had her head tipped to the side in confusion while I rambled. I thrust Grover’s reins out to her. “I’ll show you?” She accepted the reins and nodded. “I devised a system that will let you get up from ground level,” I stepped into the extended stirrup and used the hand strap with my right hand, which is the only hand she could still use. “Once you’re in the saddle, you flip this arm down off the extended back,” I explained, flipping the armrest back down. “Then, you lay your left arm in the armrest and wrap your fingers around the handle. I made sure it’s nice and padded, so it doesn’t bother your fingers,” I explained, demonstrating how she would do it. “Once you have that arm braced, you just pull this leather tab and re-ha—ha—ook your stirrup at the right level.” I showed her how the strap looped through hooks at different levels to change the length if someone else was riding the horse. “The shin ba—braces are based on the idea of a ja—jumping saddle. They’ll allow you to use your legs to balance on the horse instead of just your torso. You’ll also be able to ba—brace against them if you hit a rough patch.”
I was talking fast, so they couldn’t jump in and interrupt me. I didn’t want to hear that Heaven didn’t like all the changes, even though I knew it was a real possibility. Riders have a religious reverence for their saddle, and I was messing with hers without permission.
Since they weren’t saying anything, I jumped back in. “To g—ga—get down, you just do it all in reverse. I—I—I suggest you have someone spot you the first few times to be safe. You have to make sure the armrest is flipped uh—up before you mount or dismount so you can flip your leg over the saddle, of course. There is a quick-release button, so once your arm is out, you can pa—pu—push—push it with your knee on the underside.”
I went through the motions to get back down. When I hit the ground, they were staring at me with their mouths slack. I patted Grover nervously and swallowed around the fear sticking in my throat.
“But—uh, don’t worry,” I stuttered, hating that when I talked fast, I couldn’t break the impediment. Everyone always wondered why I spoke slowly. Well, they would wonder no more. “I didn’t fix anything on permanently,” I explained, forcing myself to slow down. “It all comes off with no damage to the saddle. I used the best bison leather I had so that it would hold up to the ah—el—elements. I—uh—I didn’t think you’d mind, Ba—laze I think it matches okay, but if you don’t, you won’t hurt my feelings none if you don’t use it.”
Heaven threw her arm around me and hugged me as hard as she could with one arm. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me, Beau,” she whispered. “I had no idea you knew how to do something like this. You’re incredibly talented.”
I shrugged at her compliment and patted her back awkwardly. “I don’t know so much about that, Miss Heaven. I just wanted to make sure you’re safe when you’re out riding between the ranches. I—I—I’m gonna be going on to a different place na—now, but I didn’t want to worry about you being hurt again.”
Blaze squeezed my shoulder in appreciation when she let me go. “I’m speechless, Beau. I didn’t know anyone could make something like this.”
“Well, I had to retrofit it to the saddle, so it was a custom thing, but I think it turned out okay. You can let me know if it needs any changes or adjustments before I leave, Miss Heaven.”
Her finger came up into my chest again, and this time, her eyes held fear instead of excitement. “I’m dying to try this saddle, Beau, but your Texas cowboy butt better be right over there on that bale of hay when I return. Do we understand each other?”
I nodded once. “Yes, Miss Heaven.”
“Good, and for God’s sake, stop with the miss thing, would you? I know it’s a show of respect for you Texans, but I’m about to be a Mrs., which is going to make it weird.” Blaze and I both had to bite back a smile until she motioned for Blaze to spot her.
