Page 34 of Blazing Hot Nights
Beau stared up at the sky, looking for rain, or looking to avoid my eyes, one of the two. What he said, though, knocked me backward a step. “Callie told me. She had come to understand you didn’t love her like a wife but more as a friend.” He turned to stare into the fire. “She once told me no matter what happened between the two of you, the only thing she wanted for you was happiness. Callie could see you weren’t happy and hadn’t been for a long time.”
I tipped my head to the sky and stared into the darkness. I pictured Callie the night before she died, and all I could see was the sadness that weighed her down and stole her spirit. “No, I wasn’t happy, but it wasn’t just her.”
“No, it wasn’t. It was also Heaven.”
I spun on him, ready to read him the riot act, but remembered at the last minute not to take it out on him. Just because he was right didn’t mean he deserved my abuse. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Beau laughed that laugh he used when he was exhausted and unsure what to say next. “I don’t know nu-nuttin’ about nothin’. You know that.”
“Wrong,” I said, jabbing my finger at him. “You know a hell of a lot more than I ever have or will. Go ahead and say it. Speak your piece, Beau.”
He tapped his bottle on his leg a few times and finally leaned over on his thighs, a surefire sign he was going to lay it all out on the line. “You were faithful to Callie in mind and body, but your su-soul was never in it. Your soul only came alive when Heav-Heav,” he cleared his throat and tried again. “Heaven rode onto Bison Ridge. The change was obvious and immediate when your eyes met hers. I saw it, Ca-Callie saw it, but you da-didn’t.”
“Beau,” I sighed, the truth difficult to swallow.
He pounded his beer bottle down into the sand and grunted. “You said to speak my pa-piece, so I uh-am! Stop pretending you and Heaven aren’t perfect for each other. You can-ca-cannot keep her at arm’s length for the rest of your life ah-as punishment for na-not lovin’ Callie enough. You wah-wasted five years of your lie-life. How many more years are you going to … to … to waste?”
“Well, ain’t that just the fly calling the bee buzzy!” I fired back. Beau’s glare told me I’d hit him right where I wanted, and the guilt filled me again. With sudden clarity, I realized the bile I was tasting had never been about Callie. It was about my reaction to the pieces of her I’d held onto over the years. It was about how I put them back out into the world in fractured pieces. She would hate that she was the reason for all the bitterness I spewed. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head. “That was uncalled for.”
Beau shrugged, but I could see in that one motion all the pain, anger, and bitterness I’d dumped on him over the years. “I was expecting it. I ca-can-cannot speak the truth without paying for it. You’re my brother, and I want you to be happy … so I accept it.”
“We’re done with that now, Beau. Do you understand? We have to let the bitterness go and find happiness in life again. That’s what Callie would want. That’s the only way to honor her memory.”
“Agreed,” he said, tossing his bottle into the cooler.
“I’m glad. Which leads me to the question I should have asked you years ago: What would you say about owning a part of this ranch?”
The out-of-the-blue question took him by surprise. I could tell by the way he blinked multiple times and the way his lips moved without words coming out.
Finally, he managed, “How much have you had to dra-drink there, cowboy? You don’t own this ranch. I don’t think your da-daddy would like you to give it away.”
The fire was getting low, and I threw another log on to keep it going. I didn’t want wolves or other wildlife to start prowling around. Out here, there was always a wolf pack on the prowl. They wouldn’t mess with a herd of bison, but they wouldn’t think twice about messing with me.
“I don’t own this ranch. Yet. That time is coming, though, and you know damn well my daddy is your daddy. Stop pretending like we aren’t family, dammit.”
Beau grabbed his knees, his chin resting atop them. “Ash is going to give you the ranch? That doesn’t sound like the guy who raised us. He’ll squeeze a nickel till the bison screams.”
“The saying is buffalo,” I said on a snort.
“Only to the fools who think bison are buffalos. Do you know how many people don’t know the difference?”
“I’m aware, yes. I run a bison ranch. Regardless, while my father is as tight as a wet boot, he’s not as dumb as one. Daddy has my brothers running the ranch at home, and he’s nothing if not fair. I’ve held up my end of the bargain and done everything he’s asked of me. He can see it’s time that he gives me the ranch. When he does, you’ll be getting part of it too. You’ve put as much blood, sweat, and tears into this land as I have.”
Beau was shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t na-know about that, Blaze. This place ha-has taken mo-mo-more from you than me. I appreciate the offer, but I ca-can, dammit!”
I squeezed his shoulder until he took a deep breath. “Relax, Beau. It’s just you and me out here. No need to get upset.”
I waited while he employed a breathing technique he had learned when we were kids. His chest deflated, and he closed his eyes before he spoke again. “I cannot let you give me a part of your legacy, Blaze.”
That was Beau to a T. He never truly believed he deserved anything out of this life, no matter how much he put into it.
“Beau, you’d give your life for Bison Ridge. We both know it. Hell, you’ve put more into this ranch the last five years than I have and that’s the only reason we’re still here. If I get the ranch, we can talk about how to proceed. I’m telling you now, so you aren’t surprised when it happens.”
“I can’t believe Ash is giving you the ranch,” Beau said again. “Do you want it? You always said you wanted to go back to Texas and work on the homestead.”
I popped the cap on a second beer and took a swig. “When I said that I was eighteen, fresh out of high school, and ticked that my father was sending me to no-man’s-land. Think about it, Beau. My father put the three of us in a truck and shipped us across the country to deal with animals we knew nothing about. Who does that?”
“Ash McAwley,” Beau said without missing a beat. “The way he saw it, the best way to make a man out of us was to let us sink or swim.”
